Page 1 of 2 12 Last
Like Tree18Likes

Thread: Being Social?

  1. #1
    Forum Member
    Hanmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    168

    Being Social?

    How on earth do you guys keep up a social life?

    I'm still pretty young but have found it incredibly difficult to keep up a social life since I started working, especially since I'm on a 12 hour night schedule now. Most of my old circle of friends has moved out of town and the remainder seems like they'll be on their way out in the next few years.

    I realize that a lot of other young cops face this, especially when they move into a new town for the job. How do you guys do it?
    Sense0Purpose1 and JDGM0710 like this.

  2. #2
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    SE PA
    Posts
    2,631
    Find non-toolboxes that work your same rotation to hang out with. Anyone that wears hero cop t-shirts off duty are the ones to avoid.
    If by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies.

  3. #3
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,746
    Get on chatroulette in your uniform, it's a surefire way to make some new friends.

    Serious answer now, coming from a LEO that I know he says that if you work with people you can tolerate and get along with then you build up a healthy rapport and before long you'll be knocking them back at the pub together. He works in a large precinct though, so there would be more people to choose from than if you're in a small town.

  4. #4
    Traveling Man
    vdfnco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    AL
    Posts
    341
    Social life with wife: Have people over for dinner and a movie on my off nights.

    Social life with friends: Be active in your church and join a organization, ie elks, civitan, or masonic lodge (my personal choice thought its not for everyone). I am not pushing any of these organizations this is just what works for me.

    I to work 12 hour night shift.
    Jacob2899 and Get 10-6 like this.
    1*

  5. #5
    Macho Man

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    fl
    Posts
    10,677
    Quote Originally Posted by leeheydon View Post
    Get on chatroulette in your uniform, it's a surefire way to make some new friends.

    Serious answer now, coming from a LEO that I know he says that if you work with people you can tolerate and get along with then you build up a healthy rapport and before long you'll be knocking them back at the pub together. He works in a large precinct though, so there would be more people to choose from than if you're in a small town.
    I do that but I have an Obama halloween mask.

  6. #6
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,746
    Quote Originally Posted by Taylor13 View Post
    I do that but I have an Obama halloween mask.
    Good reactions?

  7. #7
    Macho Man

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    fl
    Posts
    10,677
    Quote Originally Posted by leeheydon View Post
    Good reactions?
    You can tell who likes Obama and who doesn't... I'll leave it at that

  8. #8
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,746
    Quote Originally Posted by Taylor13 View Post
    You can tell who likes Obama and who doesn't... I'll leave it at that
    Haha I got some naked guy with a Palin mask once.

  9. #9
    Forum Member
    Curly Bill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Southeast Michigan
    Posts
    399
    Internet dating sites.

  10. #10
    police officer (rookie)

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    350
    I get 3 days off a week and have enrolled into a clinical psychology masters program. I spend time with my wife, friends when I can on my off days. I just take it as it comes, I get about 18 hours a month pto so I plan ahead and take paid time off. It really helps.
    My life is in GOD’s hands, and he hasn’t finished with me yet.

  11. #11
    Fell Down The Rabbit Hole
    Sense0Purpose1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Monroe County, PA
    Posts
    1,400
    Quote Originally Posted by leeheydon View Post
    Haha I got some naked guy with a Palin mask once.
    I say dress up as the depressed Persian tow truck guy from MadTv, but without a shirt on.


    I'm the gatekeeper, are you the keymaster?

    Servicing what feels like one giant Mental Hospital......... going on 3 years.

  12. #12
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    51
    Hi There,

    Start using social media.You can become social and make lots and lots of friend in networking sites. I am sure it will be of help.

  13. #13
    Molon Labe
    LA DEP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    9,187
    Quote Originally Posted by TashaSilvester View Post
    Hi There,

    Start using social media.You can become social and make lots and lots of friend in networking sites. I am sure it will be of help.
    And be VERY careful using social media while you are a LEO.....it can (and has) gotten more than a few in very deep water
    vdfnco likes this.
    The posts on this forum by this poster are of his personal opinion, and his personal opinion alone

    "Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason"

    "We fight not for glory; nor for wealth; nor honor, but only and alone we fight for freedom, which no good man surrenders but with his life"

  14. #14
    Comic Relief Expert
    NextGenOfc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,694
    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    Find non-toolboxes that work your same rotation to hang out with. Anyone that wears hero cop t-shirts off duty are the ones to avoid.
    Reminds me, I saw someone at work today wearing a blue t-shirt with "POLICE" on the back and they looked unarmed. Figured it was either a wannabe or someone in the academy. Either way, I just shook my head.
    Jacob2899 likes this.
    Next Generation Officer

  15. #15
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    99
    That is how social media became so popular. Lots of people have weird schedules, and being able to be online and connect with the outside world at any time has opened up a lot of territory for people. You might just luck out and hook up with someone who has about as much time to spare as you do.

  16. #16
    Forum Member
    AppState's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    195
    It's weird that every six months a random "female" joins this forum and resurrects a ton of long dead threads.

    I've started to just assume it's the same badge bun- er, I mean, person over and over again.

  17. #17
    Forum Member
    IAM Rand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,116
    find clubs that you are interested in. I was on the mushroom shift for most of my time on the road. On my first day off I would sleep for 3 or so hours and then get up to be on a regular cycle. You will get used to it. I would say the bar scene but, sometimes that can be a problem waiting to happen.

    If you feel the need to go to church try this one:

    "Don't make perfect the enemy of good."

    There are truths which are not for all men, nor for all times.

    "Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe."

    Frederick Douglass

  18. #18
    Patrol Officer & SRO
    jchughes05's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Havre de Grace, MD
    Posts
    2,712
    I hang out with non-cop friends when I can, and cop friends any other time.
    The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed.

    I Am the Sheepdog.


    "And maybe just remind the few, if ill of us they speak,
    that we are all that stands between
    the monsters and the weak." - Michael Marks



  19. #19
    Forum Member
    DWinsRespect's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    South
    Posts
    85
    Quote Originally Posted by Hanmo View Post
    How on earth do you guys keep up a social life?

    I'm still pretty young but have found it incredibly difficult to keep up a social life since I started working, especially since I'm on a 12 hour night schedule now. Most of my old circle of friends has moved out of town and the remainder seems like they'll be on their way out in the next few years.

    I realize that a lot of other young cops face this, especially when they move into a new town for the job. How do you guys do it?
    It's tough finding that balance.

    I'm in the same boat you are, and I find that the vast, vast, majority of the night squad that I work on do nothing but hang out and get drunk on their off days. I don't drink and don't enjoy the bar atmosphere, so I don't go. That's what makes it especially hard for me to meet people.

    On the other hand, your normal friends don't really understand why you're taking a nap at 1400 on your days off. I'll get up sometimes and go hang out over some Madden or Call of Duty, get some food, play rugby in the park, and just generally catch up. It's tough though because being awake during the night is not normal for me and my body simply doesn't adjust to it. I'm off this weekend and have slept a total of 24 hours since getting off at 0700 Friday morning.

  20. #20
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    629
    I honestly chalk it up to just being "life". Whether or not you work a cop job, or a 9 to 5 or whatever, as people get older they drift in new directions. I'm getting married soon, and work inconsistant shifts, and I really don't have much of a social life but it's more of a choice. I don't do the bar scene, I'd rather spend my nights off or weekends watching Netflix and hanging out on a couch.
    cprmauldin likes this.

  21. #21
    Forum Member
    JojenGal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    6
    Kinda funny someone mentions a female joining the thread...

    But, my first post in a while:
    so I was my academy class lead, did very well, blah blah blah, and am a month plus into my rookie session and feel utterly alone, we learned of this brotherhood and the whole nine, and definitely know that it is earned; I'm just a young pup for Leo's, but very much miss the reaponsibility, comraderie and inside jokes I shared with my buds...

    Besides the obvious "growing a pair" anyone have tips to deal with not having anyone around during this transitional phase? Old friends are gone, family is clueless and academy mates are spread out

  22. #22
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    130
    Quote Originally Posted by JojenGal View Post
    Kinda funny someone mentions a female joining the thread...

    But, my first post in a while:
    so I was my academy class lead, did very well, blah blah blah, and am a month plus into my rookie session and feel utterly alone, we learned of this brotherhood and the whole nine, and definitely know that it is earned; I'm just a young pup for Leo's, but very much miss the reaponsibility, comraderie and inside jokes I shared with my buds...

    Besides the obvious "growing a pair" anyone have tips to deal with not having anyone around during this transitional phase? Old friends are gone, family is clueless and academy mates are spread out
    Keep yourself busy man. I'm in a situation like you except I work and live 2 hours away from all my friends and family. I just keep myself busy with my hobbies and working out. Eventually you'll make new friends.
    cprmauldin likes this.

  23. #23
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    65
    Quote Originally Posted by pittguy1984 View Post
    I honestly chalk it up to just being "life". Whether or not you work a cop job, or a 9 to 5 or whatever, as people get older they drift in new directions. I'm getting married soon, and work inconsistant shifts, and I really don't have much of a social life but it's more of a choice. I don't do the bar scene, I'd rather spend my nights off or weekends watching Netflix and hanging out on a couch.
    Quote Originally Posted by tj05 View Post
    Keep yourself busy man. I'm in a situation like you except I work and live 2 hours away from all my friends and family. I just keep myself busy with my hobbies and working out. Eventually you'll make new friends.
    Love these answers. I'm the same way. I do 12-18 hours per shift, 3-4 days a week, plus additional overtime (in a custody setting). On my normal days off, I spend time with the wife, hit the gym, watch TV/movies, and play video games. The wife and I also do a lot of mini-vacations on my weekends.

    I probably hang out with work buddies once or twice a month outside of work, and other non-cop friends once every couple months.

    I find that at this point, my life is well-balanced the way I'm doing it. Any more socialization would just be tedious.

    Then again, everyone is different.

  24. #24
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    604
    Given this thread is several months to a year old, how is it going?

  25. #25
    SHU
    SHU is offline
    Forum Member
    SHU's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    2,725
    Quote Originally Posted by Hanmo View Post
    How on earth do you guys keep up a social life?

    I'm still pretty young but have found it incredibly difficult to keep up a social life since I started working, especially since I'm on a 12 hour night schedule now. Most of my old circle of friends has moved out of town and the remainder seems like they'll be on their way out in the next few years.

    I realize that a lot of other young cops face this, especially when they move into a new town for the job. How do you guys do it?
    Try to develop a life outside of the job. Get a hobby that has nothing to do with LE. Make friends with people off the job. Working 12s then spending your off days around people who are in LE is not healthy. You never get away from the job because off duty you will be hanging around people who talk about and remind you of the job. You need time away from it all.
    Sense0Purpose1 likes this.

Page 1 of 2 12 Last

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Click here to log in or register