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Thread: Can I be a cop?

  1. #1
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    Can I be a cop?

    Okay, the short story:

    -When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

    -Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

    -At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

    -Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

    -I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

    Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

    As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?
    If by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies.

  2. #2
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    Lol...........

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    look like a strong applicant to me
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    That about sums things up pretty well for AAC lately.

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  5. #5
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    Son, I only have one question.

    Have you turned your life around?
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    Going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere

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    Quote Originally Posted by L-1 View Post
    Son, I only have one question.

    Have you turned your life around?


    No, but he was getting his life turned around......
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    Okay, the short story:

    -When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

    -Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

    -At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

    -Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

    -I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

    Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

    As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?
    No , sorry you can't be a cop............................you have way too much experience behind you to be a cop.

    I would suggest that you do one of two things rather than waste your time being a cop

    #1 I understand that BOTH New York City and Chicago are looking for Police Commissioners-----with your credentials you would be a shoo in compared to their last incumbants

    #2 The FBI Director will be soon replaced. Once again a shoo in. If you don't get that job it is automatic that you are placed as a FBI agent.........and once again you are an excellent candidate for Special Agent in Charge
    "Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon - no matter how good you are, the pigeon will still crap all over the board and strut around like it won anyway."



    I don't know it all, I know a little about a lot and a lot about a little---slamdunc


    I have discussed religion and politics over morning coffee with men who have killed people, you don't scare me.

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    Cats don't like peanut butter - they like tuna....just sayin'....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iowa #1603 View Post
    No , sorry you can't be a cop............................you have way too much experience behind you to be a cop.

    I would suggest that you do one of two things rather than waste your time being a cop

    #1 I understand that BOTH New York City and Chicago are looking for Police Commissioners-----with your credentials you would be a shoo in compared to their last incumbants

    #2 The FBI Director will be soon replaced. Once again a shoo in. If you don't get that job it is automatic that you are placed as a FBI agent.........and once again you are an excellent candidate for Special Agent in Charge
    How much money do those jobs pay?
    If by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    How much money do those jobs pay?

    Slightly less than the national debt
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    "Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon - no matter how good you are, the pigeon will still crap all over the board and strut around like it won anyway."



    I don't know it all, I know a little about a lot and a lot about a little---slamdunc


    I have discussed religion and politics over morning coffee with men who have killed people, you don't scare me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    Okay, the short story:

    -When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

    -Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

    -At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

    -Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

    -I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

    Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

    As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?
    I find it inspirational for a Cop to have a sense of humor besides Gallows or Dark.
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  12. #12
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    You may just shoot (no pun intended) right into Narcotics or Homicide as a Det.

    Iowa do you something I don't. Our Supt. (McCarthy) is THE guy that invented policing. Although, with our murder and shooting rates going up, he may be going back east sooner than later.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownDet View Post
    You may just shoot (no pun intended) right into Narcotics or Homicide as a Det.

    Iowa do you something I don't. Our Supt. (McCarthy) is THE guy that invented policing. Although, with our murder and shooting rates going up, he may be going back east sooner than later.
    I was thinking of J-Fed.................yea I know he is one back from the present
    And Popeye isn't leaving NY PD either until Bloomy leaves
    "Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon - no matter how good you are, the pigeon will still crap all over the board and strut around like it won anyway."



    I don't know it all, I know a little about a lot and a lot about a little---slamdunc


    I have discussed religion and politics over morning coffee with men who have killed people, you don't scare me.

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    Due to the fact that you had the cat lick peanut butter from your testi's NO, had you left that out you would have no problem. The issue is with the cat. see the puzzy will get the badge every time..
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhilipCal View Post
    No, but he was getting his life turned around......
    Don't say that -- the candidate will be dead within a week now!

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    Depends, what does your credit look like?
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    "He's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him." -Office Space

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    Okay, the short story:

    -When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.
    Since delinquency is a usually a civil status versus a crime per se, you should be ok.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    -Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.
    Technically you should disclose this under the category of “have you committed any serious undetected crimes”, but you appear genuinely remorseful, so I would skip it.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off
    This is abhorrent behavior that portends of a serious defect in your personality. That said, if you have identified the underlying issue and have since moved past it, you should be fine.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    -At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.
    Question 1: Do you have full searing in the ear?

    Question 2: Were you committed involuntarily? If so, this “may” pose a potential issue.


    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    -Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.
    13 months clean and free of trouble is a start in the right direction. By the time that fifteenth month comes around you should be set.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    -I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

    Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?
    This is a common trick they use for weak minded folks. Nothing in your past should pose a serious impediment to a long and successful career in law enforcement. Don’t worry yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?
    Absolutely not. Some of the worst shots are leading some of the best agencies in the US today. And drop that phrase “if they hire me” from your vocabulary. They will hire you and you WILL do well. So well in fact, I am almost ready to call you Chief.

    Hang in there, I bet the hire letter is being typed up as you read this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSD View Post
    It has long been the tradition on this forum and as well as professionally not to second guess or Monday morning QB the officer's who were actually on-scene and had to make the decision. That being said, I don't think that your discussion will go very far on this board.
    Quote Originally Posted by Iowa #1603 View Post
    And now you are arguing about not arguing..................

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off
    This is where you've lost it. Now if it was a dog, that'd be a whole nother story. Everybody loves dogs....
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    Since its been a few weeks since you posted, can you update us on your process. I assume you got hired and are already in the academy. That is if they even made you go vice just issuing you the badge and gun outright.
    Quote Originally Posted by SSD View Post
    It has long been the tradition on this forum and as well as professionally not to second guess or Monday morning QB the officer's who were actually on-scene and had to make the decision. That being said, I don't think that your discussion will go very far on this board.
    Quote Originally Posted by Iowa #1603 View Post
    And now you are arguing about not arguing..................

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    See doesn't sharing make you feel better? I know it helps me. Now where did i leave that peanut butter?
    The sooner you understand that all your base are belongs to me the better off you will be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    Okay, the short story:

    -When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

    -Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

    -At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

    -Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

    -I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

    Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

    As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?
    Well we can answer this if you post a picture of your mom. Not a photo of her after you killed her. Preferably the photo you took of her while she was in the bathroom taking a shower.
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTick View Post
    Okay, the short story:

    -When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

    -Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

    -When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

    -At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

    -Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

    -I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

    Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

    As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?
    I see no reason why you can't be hired by the Wyoming State Troopers.
    Retired

  24. #24
    JDD
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    Unfortunately you do not possess the credentials for a police officer, but you do possess the characteristics of a city mayor or a United States president. I'd vote for you! Lol! Good luck future LEO lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by sgt jon View Post
    Since its been a few weeks since you posted, can you update us on your process. I assume you got hired and are already in the academy. That is if they even made you go vice just issuing you the badge and gun outright.
    Seems that I may have hit a snag... they found out I got a speeding ticket.
    If by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies.

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