1. #1
    Forum Member
    7.3 Rocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Wallingford, CT
    Posts
    30

    Will my father screw my chances at being a LEO?

    I previously posted this thread about finding some Budweiser behind the seat of our work truck. Today I found my father passed out drunk for the 2nd time. Currently he is outside throwing up out the passenger window of my truck/on my passenger side door. I wrongly accused our former employee of leaving the beer there. It had to have been my father. I found him passed out in a machine that was still running and his truck was still running too.

    http://forums.officer.com/forums/sho......&highlight=

    Last time I didn't know what had happened. I didn't smell any beer and he was acting strange so I called 911 and the paramedics were at the house. My father refused to go to the hospital with them when they couldn't find anything wrong with him. Now I know.... it's cause he'd been drunk. I found 2 cans of budweiser behind the seat of his truck. I took his keys and the cans of beer and locked the cans of beer in the toolbox of my truck. The hood was smashed in but not the bumper or grill (on his truck, not mine) so I believe he must've run into one of our trailers for our tractor trailers because only the hood was dented. I asked him what happened he said someone backed into him. I told him that wasn't true he was just drunk and he denied it.

    I guess I needed to get this out as much as I've got a question and where better than an anonymous internet forum.

    The best part of all is my mother, who supports our family financially, is 2 hours away and on her way home now because she was out on business. My father works but is stupid about it and never makes any money. he is in more debt than ever and working more than ever. I've been working for him all summer so far and I was planning to work for him the rest of the summer but I guess I need to find a new job now. Great.

    My aspirations are to become a Connecticut state trooper and I've been working really hard to keep my own nose clean. I don't drink any alcohol EVER. I don't smoke and I don't do drugs. I've been doing my best to keep out of trouble but he just keeps finding more and more. Are his actions going to have adverse effects on my chances of being hired? My mother is a normal, functioning, productive member of society and my father was until a few years ago when he and his brother split their business (they used to be business partners) and it's all been downhill from there with him.

    So yeah I guess this is me getting this out as much as anything else but is he going to screw me over in regards to getting hired?
    -Pete

  2. #2
    Police Officer
    Michigan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,888
    Only you can "screw" your chances of being a LEO. Your father can screw his life up all he wants, you stay focused and on track and you'll be working for Connecticut State Police in time.

  3. #3
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montgomery Alabama
    Posts
    16,839
    Pete, you don't get to choose your family. Sounds like your Dad needs help, but he's the one who has to realize that. I'm not going to presume to tell you or your Mom how to handle that. In the meantime, continue to keep your nose clean, and pursue your dream. Good luck.

  4. #4
    Forum Member
    boomhower1820's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    414
    The son doesn't pay for the sins of the father. Just be careful his drunk tale doesn't get you in a bind.

  5. #5
    Forum Member
    Chaplain Keppy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    on the road in North America!
    Posts
    3,195
    Pete, from a chaplain's perspective... if you are having to work with your Dad, you might want to look into Al-Anon. It can be tough being healthy in an unhealthy system, and the 12-step programs can be a great support.

    That goes double for your mom.
    We do not all come to religion over the wandering years,
    but sooner or later we all get to meet God. -- Edward Conlon

  6. #6
    God Bless Texas
    TexasAggieOfc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Republic of Texas
    Posts
    1,643
    I doubt it will hurt your chances... my father has been arrested for Attempted Capital Murder of a Peace Officer... not only are my brother and I police officers, my father is still a cop (charge was dropped by the DA)
    Let your watchword be duty, and know no other talisman of success than labor. Let honor be your guiding star in your dealing with your superiors, with your fellows, with all. Be as true to a trust reposed as the needle to the pole. Stand by the right even to the sacrifice of life itself, and learn that death is preferable to dishonor. ~ Gov. Richard Coke, October 4, 1876

  7. #7
    Forum Member
    7.3 Rocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Wallingford, CT
    Posts
    30
    Thanks, guys. Just wanted to know if it might have any influence on my possibly getting hired.

    I don't know what the issue is he was never like this when I was younger. A while back a tire exploded in his face knocking out some of his teeth and he's never been quite the same since. Much faster to get irritated always grumpy etc my mother is going to try to make him see someone. Idk who she'd make him see but she's in the healthcare industry (she's a Physical Therapist turned healthcare exec)

    I mean she can't really "make" him see anyone but anyone who's met my mother when angry would know that it's in their best interest to comply.

    Also: I don't need some support group to keep me from screwing up my own life I really appreciate your trying to help I just threw this post up as soon as I'd gotten inside from driving him home and I was still pretty irritated/upset.
    Last edited by 7.3 Rocket; 06-24-2010 at 11:16 PM.
    -Pete

  8. #8
    Forum Member
    KapsFB's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,700
    I don't think your father's issues should have an adverse effect on your own qualifications for CSP however I do have two questions. How old are you? and ... Do you live with your father?

    I'm assuming you're in you early/mid 20's. Second question regards proximity. Should your dad get f'd up then do something really stupid (like burn the house down or injure somebody), you would be better served not to be around when it happened. Of course you have to stand by him and help pick up the pieces but I'd hate to hear you suffered collateral damage as a result.

    Sounds kind of cold but as you try to assist Dad overcome his problem, you have to look out for your own well being first. You're working for/with him and indicate another job (pending LEO) is in the cards. While trying to support the family, I think your best option, if you're able, is to physically distance yourself from ground zero when it explodes. Get another job and live outside the home. Probably easier said than done but until Dad decides to cut down/quit the juice, there's nothing good coming down the pike.

    Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun.
    And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son.

  9. #9
    Forum Member
    7.3 Rocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Wallingford, CT
    Posts
    30
    I'm 17 and will be a senior in highschool next year so unfortunately unless I can come up with another $150/month on top of what I already have to make to pay insurance/fuel/registration etc so I can rent the upstairs of my brother's house (he's 21 and lives on the orchard where he works full time and I work part time only in fall) I'm stuck at home. My parents are together still (not saying they wont be it's just semi-surprising these days). If I was in my 20s and able to work full-time I'd be out of the house and none of this would be an issue.

    Also: Don't worry about seeming "cold" to me. I've got no issues with business first everything else thereafter.

    I know I should probably focus on school and all that junk now but I'm a person who sets goals and does whatever it takes to accomplish them. I've set a goal for myself to be a CT state trooper. I'm doing my best to accomplish that.
    Last edited by 7.3 Rocket; 06-25-2010 at 02:02 PM.
    -Pete

  10. #10
    Resident Misanthrope
    BCSD Frank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    6,372
    Sounds like a tough row to hoe, my man.... Hopefully soon, you can find a way out of the situation. It's really up to him to seek help, and hopefully, with your mother's assistance, he can overcome this. I don't think it will mess up your chances at all. If things get emotional and confrontational, don't let yourself get carried away or caught up in the mess. Go for a drive, go for a walk, do whatever you need to do to get out of there and cool off, if things get to that point. Good luck to you.
    Sure, that badge will get you midgets, but those midgets will get that badge!

    The more I learn about people, the more I prefer the company of my dogs.

  11. #11
    Forum Member
    Zeitgeist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Large humid city
    Posts
    1,884
    I agree w/ Chaplin K. Consider Alanon. Too many LEOs, and men in general, see getting outside help as a weakness. It makes things alot easier. Hard to believe you're only 17, wish I had it as together as you sound when I was 17. Good Luck.
    Judge me by the enemies I have made----Unknown

  12. #12
    I'm your huckleberry
    BigTrooper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    577
    Hey man, before I applied to be a Nevada Trooper, I was worried about the same thing. My dad was then (he got out in 2002) in prison doing a 20 year stretch for rape in Minnesota. He had no hand in raising me, and had no redeeming qualities. I had only seen him once in my life, so it may be a bit different that your situation. He is a multiple convicted felon (most of them violent). I was asked about him numerous times during the background phase and on the polygraph. I was hired despite of this, and it never once came up again. When I was hired at my current agency, it never once came up. All you can do is tell the truth. Sins of the father really shouldn't apply.
    Gimme a Diablo sammich and a Dr. Pepper, and make it snappy - I'm in a gotd**n hurry!

  13. #13
    Have gun......will travel
    RoadKingTrooper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Cotopaxi
    Posts
    4,315
    Quote Originally Posted by Michigan View Post
    Only you can "screw" your chances of being a LEO. Your father can screw his life up all he wants, you stay focused and on track and you'll be working for Connecticut State Police in time.
    Yup! You can pick your friends, pick your nose, but you don't get to pick your relatives. Keep your chin up and best of luck to you as a Trooper!
    "a band is blowing Dixie double four time You feel alright when you hear the music ring"


    The real deal

    Outshined Pujulesfan Bearcat Chitowndet Sgt Slaughter jthorpe M-11 Lt Borelli L-1Sgt CHP Nikk Smurf Presence1 IcecoldblueyesKimble LADEP ateamer ChiCity R.A.B. Jenners IrishMetal GoldBadge willowdared Monkeybomb PhilipCal pullicords Chit2001 Garbageman Narco CruiserClass Fuzz 10-42Trooper Tex4720 irishlad2nv bajakirch OnThe gurmpyirishmanNYIlliniSgtScott31 CityCopDCcgh6366 FJDave

  14. #14
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montgomery Alabama
    Posts
    16,839
    Pete, for a young man of 17, you seem to be blessed with a great deal of maturity. For the immediate future, work with your Mom as much as you can, help her as much as you can. Help is available for your Dad, and hopefully he'll make that critical first step. Past that, I really don't feel I should tell you what to do. I'm not there. I wish you and your Mom the very best of luck in dealing with your Dad, and continuing to honor your obligations (his too). Continue to pursue your dreams, and the very best of luck.

  15. #15
    Forum Member
    KapsFB's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,700
    Wow! Seventeen? Had me thinking older given the demeanor and more mature nature of your posts. By all means please try your best to stay focused on school and hopefully some college. As has been said, you won't be crucified for the sins of your father. How you can rebound from the ill effects of his choices should propel you to success. From what you've displayed here thus far, I'd say your outlook is quite positive. All the very best.

    Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun.
    And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son.

  16. #16
    Forum Member
    7.3 Rocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Wallingford, CT
    Posts
    30
    Thanks, guys. I try to be as mature as I can be. Most of my friends are older than I am by a long shot but it doesn't feel like it.

    I co-founded a group for 7.3 Powerstroke owners called NEST (North East Seven Threes) and I'd consider all the guys in that group to be close friends and the age range in the group is 17-48 with me being the youngest. My best friend is 27 which is actually pretty cool cause he's got a VERY cute 17 year old sister who I'm pretty sure likes me and is coming on a road trip with us to a week long truck show/meet in Tennessee.

    It really does mean a lot to "hear" (so to speak) everything you guys have got to say without having ever met any of you in person.
    -Pete

  17. #17
    Forum Member
    Zeitgeist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Large humid city
    Posts
    1,884
    hang in there, life experience is one of the best attributes a potiental LEO can bring to the table---you definately have that!
    Best of luck!
    Judge me by the enemies I have made----Unknown

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Click here to log in or register