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Thread: Tell us about your "friend's" extra-marital affairs....

  1. #1
    Annoyed, amazed & amused! Kieth M.'s Avatar
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    Tell us about your "friend's" extra-marital affairs....

    In generic terms of course...

    What successes, if any, or dismal catastrophic failures have your friends experienced when stepping-out on their spouses/SO's?

    I had a regular partner who routinely strayed - any/every chance he got. He ended up divorced and engaged to a very nice woman. He stepped out on her and got another woman pregnant. He married the pregnant one. I don't have contact with him any longer - his life got too confusing for me to keep the details straighht.

    An FTO I had has been married and at the same time involved with another woman for over 30 years. I can't see how he does it. Not that I'm looking for handy hints, mind you.
    "Many times, I have thoughts and feelings which can only be expressed through dance!" - Bender, Futurama

    "Ranking right up there with 'No good deed goes unpunished' are:

    'Sooner or later, we just might outlive our usefulness to others' and...

    'Sometimes it's very possible to push the most loving and loyal person, beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t'"
    - Yours truly

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    Forum Member Livew1re's Avatar
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    Since I am a Reserve Officer most of the time we double up. I have been on the dept well over nine years, and I pretty much ride with the same Officers. Once in awhile I ride with the Rookies... So there is this Officer ( Rookie) at my Dept that is married and one night stopped off for a "break" in his section. It was his "Girlfriend" she was a dispatcher and was married to another Officer out of town. *Shaking Head* man I see trouble brewing... I never said nothing to anyone, thats not me, but man thats just not right.

  3. #3
    locked and loaded oneoldcop's Avatar
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    um, um ,ummm.... had 2 over the years, never understood the need; I'll qualify that with I got me a good woman...




    edited to add, we had to assist on a bad wreck one night and both guys had their "friends" in the cars with them, next day sheriff asks about it, I told don't ask unless he really wanted to know-told me to tell them not to let it happen again...
    Last edited by oneoldcop; 06-20-2010 at 03:52 PM.
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    Still praying... Southflaguy's Avatar
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    Marriage doesn't exsit anymore...We're (well most people) are too selfish...I pleged a long time ago I will never get married...Growing up I've seen the impact it had on some of my friend...One in particualr turned a nice kid to a thug, their parents spilt b/c the father was kicking it with some other...Also once that happens the parent who did wrong loses their moral authority...

    Then again cheaters don't think of their children, till they "find" Jesus and the infamous "it was a mistake" speech is given...

    If you're not happy spilt and then go out w/ however you want...Just saying...
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  5. #5
    Annoyed, amazed & amused! Kieth M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneoldcop View Post
    we had to assist on a bad wreck one night and both guys had their "friends" in the cars with them, next day sheriff asks about it, I told don't ask unless he really wanted to know-told me to tell them not to let it happen again...
    Reminds me of Officer A, who was having an affair, borrowed friend Officer B's new car to take out the 'squeeze.' Officer A was, probably, DUI and rolled Officer B's car. Officers C & D who were their buddies responded. No arrest, and certainly no accurate T/A report.

    Officers A & B got rolled-up and resigned behind other issues but copped out to the DUI and insurance fraud. Officers C & D resigned, rolled-up for falsifying reports, failing to notify department of misconduct, etc.
    "Many times, I have thoughts and feelings which can only be expressed through dance!" - Bender, Futurama

    "Ranking right up there with 'No good deed goes unpunished' are:

    'Sooner or later, we just might outlive our usefulness to others' and...

    'Sometimes it's very possible to push the most loving and loyal person, beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t'"
    - Yours truly

  6. #6
    Professor of Stuff asullivan's Avatar
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    I am tha' other guy Officer Kieth...
    From da' land O' nervous sheep.
    Quote Originally Posted by crass cop View Post
    who cares....was she hot??
    Quote Originally Posted by mookster View Post
    Sully, usually I hafta glance over your posts cuz my brain would have issues with the imagery you portray, however with that one I get it. And I agree one hundred percent with ya.
    Quote Originally Posted by CityCopDC View Post
    I swear to god you are not human. I have seen enough episodes of X-Files to know a rogue VI (Virtual Inteligence) when I see one.
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    Professor of Stuff asullivan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneoldcop View Post
    um, um ,ummm.... had 2 over the years, never understood the need; I'll qualify that with I got me a good woman...




    edited to add, we had to assist on a bad wreck one night and both guys had their "friends" in the cars with them, next day sheriff asks about it, I told don't ask unless he really wanted to know-told me to tell them not to let it happen again...
    Damn Chief..... Crazy piece of dirt we live on......
    From da' land O' nervous sheep.
    Quote Originally Posted by crass cop View Post
    who cares....was she hot??
    Quote Originally Posted by mookster View Post
    Sully, usually I hafta glance over your posts cuz my brain would have issues with the imagery you portray, however with that one I get it. And I agree one hundred percent with ya.
    Quote Originally Posted by CityCopDC View Post
    I swear to god you are not human. I have seen enough episodes of X-Files to know a rogue VI (Virtual Inteligence) when I see one.
    Currently Being Ignored by

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  8. #8
    Forum Member needguidance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southflaguy View Post
    Marriage doesn't exsit anymore...We're (well most people) are too selfish...I pleged a long time ago I will never get married...Growing up I've seen the impact it had on some of my friend...One in particualr turned a nice kid to a thug, their parents spilt b/c the father was kicking it with some other...Also once that happens the parent who did wrong loses their moral authority...

    Then again cheaters don't think of their children, till they "find" Jesus and the infamous "it was a mistake" speech is given...

    If you're not happy spilt and then go out w/ however you want...Just saying...

    I totally agree with this. Being from a broken home due to the mother not the father I saw first hand how devistating it is for someone to bust his *** everyday for his family only to find out that the entire county knew before you did. It is not always the man, it definately takes two (if not the whole city).

    Having been in a marriage with a cheater myself and two to follow him up I also agree that noone can be truly trusted all the time and unless you are having children I see no real need to marry.

    Just wanted to add that in all the cases I listed NOONE admitted even when caught. Noone apologized, the other person was just crazy. Well, I tell ya that in itself would make anyone crazy. I saw what it did to my father and he still hung around until I graduated high school so I wouldn't turn into a punk. Unfortunately it would have taken an additional eight years for my sister who my mother already had her grips on.

    Like you said, just move on if you are no longer in love and for God Sake DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN! Alot of guys (and girls) think it's a big ****ing joke and you have no idea what you are doing to people!

    People who cheat are weak, low self-esteem, losers who deserve the whole death do us part that they vowed!

    OK I'm done.
    Last edited by needguidance; 06-20-2010 at 08:31 PM.

  9. #9
    VIP Member - Diamond willowdared's Avatar
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    Married deputy (with two kids) and single dispatcher. Wife found out and gave an ultimatum. Dispatcher took the dump hard, and refused to go quietly in the night. Wife took kids and left. Distraught deputy held gun to head. Now ex-deputy.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.


  10. #10
    Forum Member jcioccke's Avatar
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    Had a friend that fell into the badge bunny net. He was married 3 kids, great wife, and home. BB was single and saw the badge not him.

    I will never forget my conversation with him. There were two things I told him.

    1) She is single and has nothing to lose, and don't think for one minute that she will be OK with you just hitting it.
    2)Of course she is fun and she laughs at your jokes. She isn't home with your kids all day, and she isn't robbing Peter to pay Paul (bills)

    Long story short she pressed him to leave his wife (while she was all over every other Officer in Schenectady) and he declined. One day she knocked on his door and had a long conversation with his wife. She told him that it would be the only way he would leave her. Now he sees his kids every other weekend, lives in an awful apartment and his EX lives in their home with her new husband.

    I'm still his friend and I hear every so often him bitc- about this guy living in his house that he pays for. I think it but I will never say I told you so.

    Many men can't make the correlation why their wife is not fun (bills, kids, real life issues etc) If these guys would put the effort into their own marriage they would see the reasons why they married their wife come out.
    MDRDEP:

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  11. #11
    Verbal Sniper Smurfette_76's Avatar
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    Every single wife (of Officers) that hasn't liked their husbands working with me, has been cheated on and is being cheated on and not a ONE of them is me. Do you know what a PITA it is to be stuck between a rock and a hard place? It's not MY business that you're married to a whore with zone wives all over the place and it's not MY business to tell you what you already know, but the IRONY of you being worried about ME is almost comical. Every single time...every single tiiiiimmmmeeeeee!!! I've seen more than a decade worth of affairs now and they want to worry about me? WTF, over!

    Oy!

    I'll never forget one Christmas party when I was a new Officer. The SARGE'S wife got drunk and started screaming at me saying I was sleeping with him. Then she tried to slap me before they got her under control. Because I didn't say anything, least I throw HIM under the bus (and I had to work for him), she probably still thinks it was me. It was the dispatcher, btw. And she was standing right next to me during the altercation.

    Let's see....another Sarge's wife a few years ago found out about his on duty affairs and started coming to every single shift brief hauling in his 'dinner' and both of their children freshly scrubbed and groomed to the "T" She would stare at me and just watch. That's when I realized she thought *I* was the woman. I demanded that one be cleared up (having already BTDT). The female officer he WAS sleeping with left shortly thereafter.

    One fiance kept deleting my phone number from her boyfriends cell phone because she thought I was the other woman. I wasn't; Her roommate was.


    It's no fun knowing what my partners are up to. I don't mean to find out and Lord knows I don't ask. It has made for some very uncomfortable off-duty situations.

    Anyone else seen the screaming spouses show up at PD to file complaints when they find out about affairs? It's like Jerry Springer.
    Last edited by Smurfette_76; 06-21-2010 at 07:11 AM.
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    Resident Misanthrope BCSD Frank's Avatar
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    Good grief...

    One of my junior medics was a very handsome blackfella' who was steppin' out on his wife. One night, he came home from whorin' around and went to sleep. His ol' lady took the Fry Daddy oil and threw it on him, burning his face, neck, and chest so bad, it was doubtful that he was even going to live, for a while. She went to jail and he is permanently disfigured and dealing with years of skin-grafts.
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    Interceptor streetshark394's Avatar
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    Used to be a problem in my area departments, not so much anymore.

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    Verbal Sniper Smurfette_76's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BCSD Frank View Post
    Good grief...

    One of my junior medics was a very handsome blackfella' who was steppin' out on his wife. One night, he came home from whorin' around and went to sleep. His ol' lady took the Fry Daddy oil and threw it on him, burning his face, neck, and chest so bad, it was doubtful that he was even going to live, for a while. She went to jail and he is permanently disfigured and dealing with years of skin-grafts.
    I wonder if that would be considered absolute deterrence?


    I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

  15. #15
    Resident Misanthrope BCSD Frank's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
    I wonder if that would be considered absolute deterrence?
    Well, my comment was, "Perhaps she would have been better off to have thrown it on his crotch..." Heh...
    Sure, that badge will get you midgets, but those midgets will get that badge!

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  16. #16
    Annoyed, amazed & amused! Kieth M.'s Avatar
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    You guys make me recall a black officer R.M. He was getting some action on the side. His wife showed up in the Hollywood lobby one night and the desk officer failed to see her hands below the sight line of the desk top. She ID'ed herself as R.M.'s wife and asked to speak with him. He was paged to the desk. He came into the lobby from a side entrance. She had a friggin' baseball bat in her hands and announced "N-----r, I'm gonna' kill you!" He was in full uniform being chased by her swinging the bat. I don't know how, but they finally got her bat away from her and calmed her down. This was in the days prior to mandatory D/V arrests/bookings, reports, even.

    Years later, at about 2 a.m., his young son called 9-1-1 stating, "My mom just shot my dad, he's an LAPD officer!" An "Officer needs help" call resulted in several units responding and finding R.M. dead and his wife admitting to killing him for another affair.
    "Many times, I have thoughts and feelings which can only be expressed through dance!" - Bender, Futurama

    "Ranking right up there with 'No good deed goes unpunished' are:

    'Sooner or later, we just might outlive our usefulness to others' and...

    'Sometimes it's very possible to push the most loving and loyal person, beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t'"
    - Yours truly

  17. #17
    Forum Member Chaplain Keppy's Avatar
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    Cheating on people does great damage to them, as many here have attested. And as jcioccke says, some people don't figure out why the wife is not as much fun as the bit on the side-- they'll sacrifice a perfectly fine family and repeat the whole sad scenario all over again when Bit-on-the-side becomes Wife and the relationship changes.

    Actually Kevin Gilmartin is really helpful on this topic, in "Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement".

    To me, if you don't like what cheating does to people, the answer is not to give up on marriage-- to me, the answer is to keep your word and work on that relationship. It doesn't have to fall apart or go dry. Relationships are living things, and if you don't feed them, they will starve to death-- if you abuse them, they will turn on you.
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    I always hated having to "cover for" friends who were steppin' out on their girlfriends. One of my good friends did this first year of law school, hookin' up with a total skank. She was not even good lookin'. He had a serious g/f at the time who is now his wife and mother of his child. Had to make sure she never caught wind of that particular exploit. Ever since then, I've always been strangely cautious when someone's significant other calls or asks about their partner's whereabouts. Even when nothing's going on. A couple weeks ago my coworker's wife called the office. I was hesitant to tell her that her husband had left work about an hour earlier. It was stupid because they've probably been married 20+ years and no funny business on the side. The guy is on the straight and narrow in every way possible. I guess it's just a reflex now after having a couple friends who were huge cheaters.

  19. #19
    Have gun......will travel RoadKingTrooper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adeutch View Post
    I always hated having to "cover for" friends who were steppin' out on their girlfriends. One of my good friends did this first year of law school, hookin' up with a total skank. She was not even good lookin'. He had a serious g/f at the time who is now his wife and mother of his child. Had to make sure she never caught wind of that particular exploit. Ever since then, I've always been strangely cautious when someone's significant other calls or asks about their partner's whereabouts. Even when nothing's going on. A couple weeks ago my coworker's wife called the office. I was hesitant to tell her that her husband had left work about an hour earlier. It was stupid because they've probably been married 20+ years and no funny business on the side. The guy is on the straight and narrow in every way possible. I guess it's just a reflex now after having a couple friends who were huge cheaters.
    Probably catch heat for this but......................I won't lie to a friends spouse about when they left the office or other location. I won't speculate on why or where they went, but I will not lie for them.
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    I worked with a woman, she was married to a very successful guy who absolutely doted on her, two adorable kids. One New Year's eve she had a party at her house, and just before midnight two guests (next door neighbors) are arguing, the wife accusing the husband of having an affair. At first he's denying it, then says "okay, you're right, I've been seeing someone". The wife says "you're &$%#'ing so-and-so at work, aren't you?" And my former colleague pipes up, in front of her husband and kids and says "No, he's &$%#'ing me." Classy. They're divorced, he BOUGHT HER A HOUSE, for gawd's sake, so the kids' lifestyle wouldn't suffer, and both are now remarried.

    When they first met, this guy had been dating Shania Twain (before she made it big). Bet there are still days he wishes he could kick his own backside.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadKingTrooper View Post
    Probably catch heat for this but......................I won't lie to a friends spouse about when they left the office or other location. I won't speculate on why or where they went, but I will not lie for them.
    Yeah, and that's the crazy thing. I don't even know why I thought about it. I guess just leftover from when all my buddies were big players and I had to keep straight who was their official g/f and who they were just bangin.

  22. #22
    Forum Member Jane Q Public's Avatar
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    Personally, I wouldn't worry about who's the "official partner" and who isn't ... they'd all get the truth from me if I were asked. But then maybe I'm coming at it from the perspective of the wife who was cheated on (and that was before he raped a woman--rape being an entirely different animal than adultery, since I think of adultery as being a consensual act between two parties who choose to trash the marriage vows of one or both).

    There had been times I was pretty suspicious that adultery was taking place, but I just lacked proof.
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  23. #23
    Forum Member jcioccke's Avatar
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    Probably catch heat for this but......................I won't lie to a friends spouse about when they left the office or other location. I won't speculate on why or where they went, but I will not lie for them.
    Not from me my friend. I won't cover for anyone I'm to old for that. I want rat them out either but I will not be a cover for anyone.
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    MDRDEP:

    There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

  24. #24
    Resident Misanthrope BCSD Frank's Avatar
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    Ditto. I won't rat them out, but I'm not going to be responsible for their alibi, either.
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  25. #25
    Annoyed, amazed & amused! Kieth M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoodWitness View Post
    When they first met, this guy had been dating Shania Twain (before she made it big). Bet there are still days he wishes he could kick his own backside.
    There are days I would do worse to myself if I had let her slip through my fingers.
    Last edited by Kieth M.; 06-21-2010 at 07:16 PM.
    "Many times, I have thoughts and feelings which can only be expressed through dance!" - Bender, Futurama

    "Ranking right up there with 'No good deed goes unpunished' are:

    'Sooner or later, we just might outlive our usefulness to others' and...

    'Sometimes it's very possible to push the most loving and loyal person, beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t'"
    - Yours truly

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