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  1. #1
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    "Whatever you do, Don't Date Cops!"

    That is the #1 thing I hear from people when they find out I am in process!!

    What I want to know is, what in the world are you guys doing to make them say these things?? hahaha...

    I hear: They are crazy, cheaters, wife beaters, liars, etc. Too f'd up from dealing with the worst of the worst. The list goes on and on!

    I personally don't know any cops well enough to judge these things, and some of the people are just going by rumor as well, but still, it's a little disturbing that I hear it so much!

    And not that I was planning to date anyone anyway, I just wondered what the heck am I getting into!

    And, supposing there are a few bad apples, is it the police job that causes people do this, or do they start out that way and just gravitate towards a career in law enforcement?

    I've been dying to ask. I don't want to sound rude, but I am curious as to any thoughts/opinions on this.

  2. #2
    Go Army!
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    You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...

  3. #3
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    All I can say is I dated a few cops back in the day, but ended up marrying someone not in law enforcement.

    You are gonna get positive and negative comments for both situations so you just gotta make up your own mind.

  4. #4
    Have gun......will travel
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    Though it was OK to date them but not to marry?

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  5. #5
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    If you are a woman just getting into this job, do NOT date your fellow Officers. You'll get a rep and BAD. It's okay for them to whore around, not for you. Someone always finds out and they are not nice about it. Even if you're kicking *ss and taking names, your promotion was because you eff'd your way up the chain. Then again, someone that wanted the position you got will probably allege it anyway. This job isn't the kindest to women....heterosexual ones in that regard. I don't know about the homosexual ones other than they get a lot of grief from citizens from time to time.

    I dated my first cop after about seven years in. I married him. LOL


    I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegasMetro View Post
    You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...


    exactly
    Just shut your damn hole




    Dead Souls-----They keep calling me

  7. #7
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    I will say that the job does attract a certain type. That combined with long periods away from home, etc etc etc... There's a reason the divorce rate among LEO is 85 percent.

    Me, I started dating my boyfriend while at the Academy. It was horrid, all the rumors that flew around because of it. We were in the same class, and while there were no rules about it, we were both in positions of authority within the class and everyone accused me of getting special treatment because I was the female half. We work is departments 2.5 hrs apart now, which to me is a good thing.

    As far as dating cops though...I don't see a problem with it. Maybe because I am one? Cops aren't all bad, but take a regular human being, add in alpha personality, some stress and a strong connection with coworkers and it does strain a relationship.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
    If you are a woman just getting into this job, do NOT date your fellow Officers. You'll get a rep and BAD. It's okay for them to whore around, not for you. Someone always finds out and they are not nice about it. Even if you're kicking *ss and taking names, your promotion was because you eff'd your way up the chain. Then again, someone that wanted the position you got will probably allege it anyway. This job isn't the kindest to women....heterosexual ones in that regard. I don't know about the homosexual ones other than they get a lot of grief from citizens from time to time.

    I dated my first cop after about seven years in. I married him. LOL
    I agree with this...I figured it would be a bad idea, in fact I've heard that too, everything you just said.

  9. #9
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    It's really hard dating a cop. The odd schedules, the extra shifts they pick up, the way their attitude changes - all are factors which people think twice before dating cops. I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into.

  10. #10
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    "Dont take work home and dont take home to work"

    That is what one officer told me was the key to having a successfull relationship in LE.
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  11. #11
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    It's not always that easy as some people make it out to be. As Sam said, we are humans. There is only so much we can control.

    The reasons people have such a hard time with dating cops is that a large majority of us are control freaks to some extent. Women see the cop in uniform and see someone that looks to be in shape (okay, SOMEtimes.... ), someone who isn't doing stupid crap to get locked up all the time, they see SECURITY (I'm talking long-term, not security GUARD). All those things, coupled with finally having someone to show the parents that not everyone she dates turns out to be a turd is very enticing.

    Now, these women don't see the bad side of us from the get-go. Long hours, exposure to extreme hazards, having to hold back from choking the ever-loving SHYTE out of people when we see child crimes, delivering death notices for the umpteenth time because of some stupid-azz DUI crash, etc. etc.

    People think we're crazy because cops hear gunfire and run TOWARDS it, not away. They'll say we're liars because a few of us are. People that don't obey the law don't like getting caught. Your friends may think dating a cop will make you "square" because now you can't go out and drink then drive home. No more smoking the odd "joint" around you because you're with a cop.

    Every civil service job seems to have their similar stories due to the stresses we face at work. That does NOT mean that we are all that way. However, there are enough stressors that we often act and respond to things differently. How many times would a civilian see a bad collision and think of the horror involved? I'll stand around at a bad wreck and be cracking jokes about the position we just found the driver in, scratching his right ear with his left foot. Why? That's how I and others like me may deal with some of this job. Is it always right? Probably not. But it works for me.

    If you want to date someone, don't date them for their job/profession. Date them and maybe even love them for the person that they ARE and not the person you think they SHOULD BE.
    NRA Life Member

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    Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by bebegirljen View Post
    It's really hard dating a cop. The odd schedules, the extra shifts they pick up, the way their attitude changes - all are factors which people think twice before dating cops. I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into.
    Yep, and it's even harder after you marry them.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegasMetro View Post
    You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...
    Umm.. That rule can apply to VegasMetro.

    Fact is, it's not the neccessarily the profession that makes the man, but the man that makes the profession. All law enforcement personnel are not like that, it's just a misconception. Like Smurfette pointed out, knuckleheads are everywhere, not just in Law Enforcement.
    - Truth

  14. #14
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    Here is better advice from my own personal experience, while on "the job" don't date lawyers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I learned the hard way
    " I've kicked more a** then you have kissed but I guess that's why your the chief"

  15. #15
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    Good post Sgt Slaughter. But explain why a guy might want to date a female officer? Oh, wait...they don't. Hmmm.

  16. #16
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    Simple enough. New chick already comes with handcuffs....
    NRA Life Member

    The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. - Sir Robert Peel

    Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

  17. #17
    The Wandering Soul
    Explorer528's Avatar
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    Just another generalization if you ask me...don't date Cops, Lawyers, People in the military, etc.
    Dark and light shall merge to one, I cannot finish, what I haven't begun.

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  18. #18
    Verbal Sniper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenners View Post
    Good post Sgt Slaughter. But explain why a guy might want to date a female officer? Oh, wait...they don't. Hmmm.

    It takes a VERY strong man, one very secure in his masculinity, to handle dating a female Officer.


    I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

  19. #19
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    Sgt. Slaughter's Avatar
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    Hold on... ***checking his biceps*** Somehow she thinks I measure up!
    NRA Life Member

    The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. - Sir Robert Peel

    Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

  20. #20
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    Maybe that's why I date a cop too. No one else asks me out. And now that I think on it, I don't think he really asked me out either. It just...happened. But he's real solid in his masculinity, etc etc.

  21. #21
    no longer a proby...
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    I've been on the job for about 6 years now, 3 with my current dept. i just started dating a cop about a year ago, and i have to say that it has been an awesome experiance... we get along and there is an understanding between us that i never had with any girlfriend that was not LEO, however i have a couple of buddies that have also dated cops and their experiance were horrid, long drawn out battles from the depths of hell... so i guess my point is that you have to make your own informed decision, and hope for the best.
    In God we trust... All others check NCIC...

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  22. #22
    Shortie
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    Blanket statements are bad. It's more personal experiences that have screwed up my view. My ex-stepdad was a cop and cheated on my mom. A guy I knew, whom I thought was actually a friend, tried to get me to help him cheat on his wife.

    There are good apples and bad apples in the bunch. I'm dating someone in LE now, and he's actually the first person I can say I actually trust 100%.
    Never argue with idiots - they just drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

    Chaos, Panic and Disorder....my work here is done!

    As her tears fell at his feet, she didn't say "I Love You," what she said meant even more: I laugh, I love, I hope, I tried. I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry and I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different, me and you.

  23. #23
    Aged like a fine wine
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegasMetro View Post
    You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...
    +1
    "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm" -George Orwell

    "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing diapers." - Blues Brothers

  24. #24
    This Can't Be!
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    During my 2 years as a city cop, my partner was a gal who went on to the DEA, but when we worked together, she was a fantastic cop in every respect - brave, funny, blue humored at times, a lady always and fantastic with womem and kids as victims. And, she took no grief from dudes - including cops. She made it clear work was work - dated no one even remotely related to LE

    And, she was never the victim of the crap Smurf has so accurately mentioned.

    Lady cops - be well entrenched in your agency before you decide to hook up with one of your own. Smurf got away with it only because she was "one of the guys" well before she met her husband.

    LE is still sadly behhind the curve in this area.
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  25. #25
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    It really depends on the people that are working together and their maturity level. Where I work there are some couples together still and some that have parted ways. No one really gives it a second thought.
    On The Line All The Time!

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