Attraction (POF)

[The Colonel(44)]

Met a woman online on (POF) from Tn,just ended a 2 month I call it a learning experience,and expensive one at that ($$$) after some follow up investigation on my part,I found that she was quite the Player and had a crimminal background to boot.Multiple (4) Marriages and 3 children by different Father's.Even after I told her it was over I kept receving unwanted text messages from her! Geez How come some Women Can't take (No) for a Answer!:eek:

[Smurfette_76]

Why are you shocked by behavior of someone you don't know?

[LeanG]

Actually, online relationships are best kept......online.

Some people may have cool avatars, even sexy ones. Others may have a great way to articulate their point in type. Some are very flirtatious online. Yet still, others have soo much life experience and seem wise beyond their years. But until you meet someone personally, they're all cybermates. Nothing else.

I wouldn't take an on-line relationship seriously. Don't believe me? Ask Chris Hanson with Dateline NBC. There are some people with some serious mental issues that you just can't see on your desktop or laptop, but you can sure see across the table top.....

[JMTX]

Actually, online relationships are best kept......online

I disagree. I met one of my best friends and bed buddies online. We've seen each other for 3 and a half years, and he even moved 1200 miles across the country to be nearer to me. Of course, we met in person within 6 weeks of meeting online, but to say that online relationships shouldn't go real time is silly to me. What's wrong with meeting people online vs meeting them somewhere else? I spend more time online than anywhere else anyway.

[Jellybean400]

I believe you CAN meet nice, decent, normal people online - especially on dating sites - but i do think it takes quite a bit of weeding thru the not-so-great ones, just like in REAL LIFE. I really dont see much difference.

People can hide all kinds of things in real life, too. I always watch my money no matter who i'm with, and where i've met them. My money is my own - we can split the costs of things, but that's it.

Col., i'm sorry that happened. Believe me i found alot of losers online, but never met them in person because i took so long to get to know them that they got impatient.

The very first online friend i met in person was one of the coolest, most decent men i know. Someone i knew from this site, and hes still a friend. An awesome man, and a gentleman. I'm glad to still have him in my life, even if it's just by an occasional email.

[igoturback]

Actually, online relationships are best kept......online.


I wouldn't take an on-line relationship seriously.

I disagree..... I met my significant other on-line 6 months ago and we are incredibly close and happy together. It took me quite a decent amount of time to learn how to decipher between truth and fiction. But with some practice you can really learn quite a bit about a person with out going to the extent of even meeting them for an introduction. Influctuations in tone in their personality profile can be read and interpreted easily.

I had a three part process....first was email's back and forth, if you got past that phase then there were several phone conversations, ( I learned how to ask a whole lot of questions) and then maybe, maybe we would meet for coffee. If you passed the face to face meeting, then you got a date. Probably out of 50 prospects 3 got dates. So the key is be patient - and trust your gut instinct. If red flags are coming up - don't ignore them they are probably right on....

Good luck to you and keep the faith - my sig and I are looking at each other long - long term and we would have never met other than online!

[mrc27]

POF? POF?

[Jellybean400]

Plenty Of Fish.com

[BaseballBabe]

I disagree (LeanG). I have been friends with a guy since Feb. 2001 although we have yet to meet in person. I consider him one of my best friends and I would go to great lenghts to protect him. :)

He is the only one I have been friends with for so long without meeting him in person. I hope to sometime soon but until then. We keep in touch via phones calls.


BBB :)

[LeanG]

with so many telling me I'm wrong....

I'll concede the point, and say I WAS WRONG.

I just thought........

[Jellybean400]

with so many telling me I'm wrong....

I'll concede the point, and say I WAS WRONG.

I just thought........

LOL...and ya know what? i was gonna add more, and say that MAYBE you meant not to take it seriously until you had spent alot of time together OFF-line. Which i DO agree with.

I feel you can learn alot about someone online, but then again you really dont know how much is true until youre with them in person for quite a while. That part i agree with.

[BaseballBabe]

with so many telling me I'm wrong....

I'll concede the point, and say I WAS WRONG.

I just thought........

But it is also your opinion. You may have witnessed others who have failed online relationships. :) I am just saying that others may have had success in finding love over the net. It isn't for everyone. :)

[LeanG]

LOL,

I guess, to each his (her) own. I'm of the opinion that anyone can write a couple of lines and make the original poster feel good. I'm actually amused (even on this board) how a person's avatar dictates how often they're "hit" on. I, personally can't do that. To me, everyone in cyber space is equal, unless they're rude demeanor says otherwise...

[The Colonel(44)]

Met a woman online on (POF) from Tn,just ended a 2 month I call it a learning experience,and expensive one at that ($$$) after some follow up investigation on my part,I found that she was quite the Player and had a crimminal background to boot.Multiple (4) Marriages and 3 children by different Father's.Even after I told her it was over I kept receving unwanted text messages from her! Geez How come some Women Can't take (No) for a Answer!:eek: Update We dated Live in the Flesh for (2) months she was involved in a Credit Card Fraud case,and had gone AWOL on her probation,I informed her to go back to court to put this behind her so I gave her $$$ to help her put the case to rest,Taliking to other women at a church I belong too,other info came too light about other infractions with the Law,It was just the Blantant Lying on her part towards me,That I called it quits! You do meet some credible intelligent people online,but you also have to weed through lets just say the (TARES) :confused:

[Cherry_Topper]

I have had good and bad experiences while meeting people on-line. I mostly use the online environment to meet people as friends, but have recently joined an online dating site.

There are some clever schemers out there, but you have to use your best judgement and common sense. When I find out someone is being dishonest, I sever all contact and move on. Everyone is entitled to making mistakes, just be sure you learn from them.

:cool:

[Southflaguy]

LOL,

I guess, to each his (her) own. I'm of the opinion that anyone can write a couple of lines and make the original poster feel good. I'm actually amused (even on this board) how a person's avatar dictates how often they're "hit" on. I, personally can't do that. To me, everyone in cyber space is equal, unless they're rude demeanor says otherwise...

Internet gangsters...:D:D:D

Yeah, I know what you mean...Like I'm cool w/ this Tropper from Florida,he works some where South, I don't know...Seems like a cool guys he's into the Boondocks, sports, and other cools stuff...But for all I know he can have a couple bodies in his trunk...:D;)...As far as women on-line it feels odd..You spit game on-line, at least you have a second chance...If you say the wrong thing in person you may never gat a second chance...

[LeanG]

Internet gangsters...:D:D:D

Yeah, I know what you mean...Like I'm cool w/ this Tropper from Florida,he works some where South, I don't know...Seems like a cool guys he's into the Boondocks, sports, and other cools stuff...But for all I know he can have a couple bodies in his trunk...:D;)...As far as women on-line it feels odd..You spit game on-line, at least you have a second chance...If you say the wrong thing in person you may never gat a second chance...

:D:D
You know what? Maybe its because I'm happily married and wouldn't want to meet anyone online anyway ;)

BTW, that LeanG has a great avatar........:D

[Southflaguy]

:D:D
You know what? Maybe its because I'm happily married and wouldn't want to meet anyone online anyway ;)

BTW, that LeanG has a great avatar........:D

I don't know I'd rather just ask the girl out in person...That me though...You can see who she hangs out w/,how she dresses,ect...On-line that picture they put up might be phto shopped and they might be complete trolls...LeanG's avator is alright...If it was Riley then it would be better...:cool:...BTW LeanG owes me $20 bucks when you see him let him know what's up..;):D:D...

[Jellybean400]

I don't know I'd rather just ask the girl out in person...That me though...You can see who she hangs out w/,how she dresses,ect...On-line that picture they put up might be phto shopped and they might be complete trolls..

And i do hear all the time that people do that (especially men lol) but i personally CANT imagine doing it, and then meeting my date and knowing what hes thinking!! I mean if youre gonna meet someone in person eventually, you have to put up a real pic. I dont get those types, but i do hear about them.

When the guy that i've been seeing first told his sister about me before we had actually met (he told her first because of our age difference, thinking she might be more understanding), she flipped out because we met "on the internet" and gave him the scenario of people making up stories, creating personalities and fake lives and making a living at it, etc. I do understand that she was protective of her little brother, but she was telling him things like i "sounded too good to be true." (we met on a dating site) Well he was probably just telling her the good stuff about me, and we liked each other ALOT from what we knew online. That's what made us want to meet in person! And i had plenty of pictures up, i dont try to fool anyone.

I think each situation is different, and there ARE scammers and creeps. But they are out HERE too, in real life and face-to-face.

[Southflaguy]

And i do hear all the time that people do that (especially men lol) but i personally CANT imagine doing it, and then meeting my date and knowing what hes thinking!! I mean if youre gonna meet someone in person eventually, you have to put up a real pic. I dont get those types, but i do hear about them.

When the guy that i've been seeing first told his sister about me before we had actually met (he told her first because of our age difference, thinking she might be more understanding), she flipped out because we met "on the internet" and gave him the scenario of people making up stories, creating personalities and fake lives and making a living at it, etc. I do understand that she was protective of her little brother, but she was telling him things like i "sounded too good to be true." (we met on a dating site) Well he was probably just telling her the good stuff about me, and we liked each other ALOT from what we knew online. That's what made us want to meet in person! And i had plenty of pictures up, i dont try to fool anyone.

I think each situation is different, and there ARE scammers and creeps. But they are out HERE too, in real life and face-to-face.


That's the thing once you see them in person there is no surprise...The thing about just walking up to a stranger and asking for her (or in some cases his) phone number ect is that most of the time they won't give it out, rightfully so...There are some advantages for hooking up on-line: you know you're looking for someone,you probably won't get embarrassed in public,and in a way you can be yourself...The thing about it is sometime you're so nervous that you say the wrong thing, or what you ment to say comes out the wrong way...Like I said earlier at least on the web you get a second chance...Still fun just walking up and striking a conversation...You just have to know when it's going somewhere and when it's not...

[JMTX]

once you see them in person there is no surprise

Actually there are lots of surprises. I can tell a person's physical appearance in person, granted...but I have no way of knowing at a distance any of the things that are important to me in a partner (looks is way down that list.)

If I meet someone online, I can ask them upfront what their religion is, their political party, how they feel about gay rights and abortion, how large their genitals are (pictures please), do they have children, do they want children, do they like dogs, do they like cats, etc etc...All kinds of need-to-know info that I can't gather just by seeing someone across a room.

Online I can find most of that info from a 2min glance of their profile. The rest can come out in IM conversations, which are much better than in-person conversations. If I'm talking to someone face-to-face, I have to focus just on them, and if it turns out they aren't my type then i've wasted time. But if I talk to them online, I can be chatting while I'm playing World of Warcraft or watching South Park, and I'm not really out any time if they turn out being something different than I'm looking for.

[Southflaguy]

Actually there are lots of surprises. I can tell a person's physical appearance in person, granted...but I have no way of knowing at a distance any of the things that are important to me in a partner (looks is way down that list.)

If I meet someone online, I can ask them upfront what their religion is, their political party, how they feel about gay rights and abortion, how large their genitals are (pictures please), do they have children, do they want children, do they like dogs, do they like cats, etc etc...All kinds of need-to-know info that I can't gather just by seeing someone across a room.

Online I can find most of that info from a 2min glance of their profile. The rest can come out in IM conversations, which are much better than in-person conversations. If I'm talking to someone face-to-face, I have to focus just on them, and if it turns out they aren't my type then i've wasted time. But if I talk to them online, I can be chatting while I'm playing World of Warcraft or watching South Park, and I'm not really out any time if they turn out being something different than I'm looking for.



Yeah, but I'm sure people lie on their profiles...They'll say anything to hook up...When you're face to face you know what's up from the get go...If you're attracted to the person or not...I don't know I guess people are hooking up on line more then in person...

[JMTX]

Yeah, but I'm sure people lie on their profiles...

Some do, but not usually about the kind of things I'm talking about. Most people don't bother lying about their political or religious beliefs.

And seeing as how some of my beliefs are "out there", I'd doubt anyone would *fake* having them. For example, most guys aren't going to say, "Gee I don't ever want to have kids" on their profile unless they MEAN it, because they know that scares a lot of women away.

When you're face to face you know what's up from the get go
How do you figure? It's as easy to lie in text as it is to lie in spoken conversation.

If you're attracted to the person or not.
Eh, not really. There's a LOT of different factors that determine how attracted I am to a person and I don't really see meeting in person as being any different than meeting online.

I guess people are hooking up on line more then in person...
I tend to think so. It's just easier to meet people.

For me, I've been on dates with 12 guys since I was 18 (counting ex hubby).

I met:
2 of them at school
2 of them through work
8 of them online.

So that's about 66% of my dates that originate online.

I'm pretty good at assessing attraction via computer. Only one of those 8 people really disappointed me and ended up being someone I just totally could never, ever be attracted to sexually.

[Southflaguy]

You just never know both on-line or in person...

[JMTX]

Exactly. Which is why I might as well "shop" online from the comfort of my house. I don't even have to get out of my PJs.