Random Nonsense...

[10-13]

Two sausages are lying in a fry pan. One sausage turns to the other and says "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?" The other sausage looks over and says "HOLY SHEET, A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

[10-13]

A bear wakes up in the spring after a long winter of hibernation, and all he wants is a beer. So, he goes to the local bar, and there's a sign out front that says "under new management". The bear thinks nothing of it and walks in.
"Bartender...get me a beer" says the bear.
"I'm sorry"says the bartender"we're under new management, and we no longer serve beers to bears"
"What are you talking about"says the bear "I've been coming here forever, and all I want is a bee"
"I'm sorry, we don't serve beers to bears"
The bear starts getting really angry and points to a woman by the pool table and says "You see that woman over there? If I don't get a beer, I'm going to maul her to death"
The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve beers to bears"
The bear has had enough. He goes over to the woman and tears her apart and eats her. He then walks back over to the bar with blood dripping off his teeth and claws and says"Now...give me a beer"
The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve beers to bears on drugs"
"What are you talking about"says the bear, "I'm not on drugs"
"Oh yeah" says the bartender"what about that bar bytch you ate"

[Jonathan]

:D

[10-13]

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a good year.

[10-13]

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

{insert rim-shot here}

...try the veal, its delicious...

[klar]

Oh man I can not stand it I just heard about the alligators at the Omaha zoo.

Gawd it was awful

sniff sniff

it was the worse case of gatoraids that anyone has ever saw.

Klar

[10-13]

two atoms are walking down the street and one atom turns to the other and says "hey i lost an electron!", the other atom says "are u sure?" then the other one says "yeah i am positive!"

[10-13]

two bananas are sitting on the side of a river when they see a piece of poop floating down the river. the piece of poop turns to them and says "hey come on in, the water is great!", one banana turns to the other and says "do u beleive that *****".

[10-13]

A man walks into his doctor's office and says "you have to help me, doc, my stomach's killing me!"
The doctor asks what's wrong, and the man says: "I don't know, I think I ate something that didn't agree with me."

A voice from his stomach says "No you didn't!"