werebear
11-29-2001, 02:22 PM
This is happening on one of the boards I frequent ( http://pub33.ezboard.com/fbulkandpower48873frm1.showMessage?topicID=3006.to pic ), you might find it humorous.
Oh, and if one of you folks responded to any of this and would like to tell your side that would be great.
He lives in Omaha
-----------------------------------------
(I thought I would share my local "cops" episodes with you that my friend's neighbors like to stage)
Let me fist say our neighborhood does not get along. It reached a peak a few weeks ago when one neighbor got flowers for her birthday.
It was her 50th birthday, and someone sent flowers. She was not home, so the flower shop left it at the neighbors as usually happens.
So, When she gets home from work there is a note in the door saying that the flowers were left at the neighbors. She knows right off the bat there will be problems, as this is the neighbor that frequently sprays her with a garden hose over the fence while referring to her as "A Lousy L**bo B***h" among other redneck slanders.
She goes over to the house to see if she can get her flowers and is met with a rousing "Get the @#%$ off my property, I ain't got no @#%$ flowers... b***h!!!".
She however insists on her flowers. Insists.
(Mind you she is about 6'4" 210 lb very angry woman, and he is a 5'6" little angry Pabst chugging redneck)
Threats are exchanged...
Fists are shaken...
The police are called...
She shows the cops the flower shop note that denotes the leaving of the flowers. The cops call the flower shop. The cops go have a talk with the Pabst blue ribbon guy.
The guy insists to the cop he does not have her flowers, and has no idea what anyone is talking about. The officer being a true detective looks over the guys shoulder sees a brand new bouquet of flowers sitting on the table.
"what about those?" The officer asks.
There is silence.
Pabst guy suddenly explains that his wife brought those Back from a funeral this morning that she went to. He does not know who's funeral however.
The police ask to interview the wife, but Pabst guy states that she is gone out of town for several weeks after the funeral....
As those very last syllables leave his mouth the wife's car rounds the corner and pulls into the driveway.
Police officer two stops the wife as she gets out of the car and attempts to validate the information about the funeral, flowers, and her leaving town. She wants to know exactly what -the hell- he is talking about.
At this moment Pabst guy erupts in true cops form screaming at the neighbor who simply wants her flowers. After a near choke hold the flowers are returned...
...But wait... Where is the Card...?
The flower shop had stated that there was a card with the flowers. Once again Pabst guy denies knowledge. The cop is getting ****ed. He actually searches the house and the trash for the card... but to no avail.
Warnings are issued, counseling brochures are handed out...
But that is all...
Until episode II? last night...
-----
So yesterday night about 6:00 this kid on the circle... who lets say is "a little slower" than usual, decides to pull his parents car into the garage. (Son of Pabst Blue Ribbon guy)
The kid is about 14, and his parents have let him do it in the past. Mind you apparently he has never done it with a stick before.
So this time it... will be different...
The kid goes to put the car into gear and for some reason looses control of it and it slams into the side of the garage... hard enough to actually jeopardize the structural integrity of the garage.
In a panic he throws it into reverse, dropping the clutch, and pulling a cookie in the garage/driveway. The car slams into the house next door and spins off into the neighborhood. The car careens through the neighbors yard and starts heading across the street.
The car, still going full, speed jumps the curb, demolishes the backyard fence of a neighboring house and, and then slams into another house before coming to a rest against it.
Few apparently witnessed it, as it was before most people were home from work.
The car is quickly moved out of the yard by the dad and put back into the garage and the garage door summarily closed. Apparently hoping no one will notice the track of carnage.
The neighbor to the left comes home and she doesn't initially notice anything until another neighbor calls her... "Uh did you see the side of your house? It got hit by a car..."
The police are quickly called.
It gets better...
-----
Well maybe it's a little anti-climatic. But anyway:
The police arrive. The dad will not open the door for the police, and says he has no idea what they are talking about.
The police... well lets just say... don't believe him and threaten a full blown "cops" episode if he and the kid don't come out. Backup is called... Eventually they both do come out.
The cops take the kid aside and he tells them what happened... And get this... The dad -still- denies it, and says it is the first time he's heard of any of this and he acts surprised to see the damaged garage, houses, fences, yards, etc...
The large lady next door leaves the house to go talk to the cops to give her 2 cents worth. The dad begins screaming at her calling her his usual set of reserved profanities.
Choke hold is applied...calm prevails.
The police are somewhat fascinated by all of this. Counseling brochures are handed out. Warnings and tickets are given...
And my friend is actually at home now, waiting for the next episode to materialize in his front living room window version of cops as I type this. Apparently he's been trying to get pictures... But the guy has already fixed the fence (or at least made it stand up)... and there are other people milling out and about in the area. He's thinking of just approaching them to ask if he can take pictures. You know, "Hey, can I take pictures and put you dumbasses on the net?"
-------------------------------
"Choke hold is applied...calm prevails."
HAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh, and if one of you folks responded to any of this and would like to tell your side that would be great.
He lives in Omaha
-----------------------------------------
(I thought I would share my local "cops" episodes with you that my friend's neighbors like to stage)
Let me fist say our neighborhood does not get along. It reached a peak a few weeks ago when one neighbor got flowers for her birthday.
It was her 50th birthday, and someone sent flowers. She was not home, so the flower shop left it at the neighbors as usually happens.
So, When she gets home from work there is a note in the door saying that the flowers were left at the neighbors. She knows right off the bat there will be problems, as this is the neighbor that frequently sprays her with a garden hose over the fence while referring to her as "A Lousy L**bo B***h" among other redneck slanders.
She goes over to the house to see if she can get her flowers and is met with a rousing "Get the @#%$ off my property, I ain't got no @#%$ flowers... b***h!!!".
She however insists on her flowers. Insists.
(Mind you she is about 6'4" 210 lb very angry woman, and he is a 5'6" little angry Pabst chugging redneck)
Threats are exchanged...
Fists are shaken...
The police are called...
She shows the cops the flower shop note that denotes the leaving of the flowers. The cops call the flower shop. The cops go have a talk with the Pabst blue ribbon guy.
The guy insists to the cop he does not have her flowers, and has no idea what anyone is talking about. The officer being a true detective looks over the guys shoulder sees a brand new bouquet of flowers sitting on the table.
"what about those?" The officer asks.
There is silence.
Pabst guy suddenly explains that his wife brought those Back from a funeral this morning that she went to. He does not know who's funeral however.
The police ask to interview the wife, but Pabst guy states that she is gone out of town for several weeks after the funeral....
As those very last syllables leave his mouth the wife's car rounds the corner and pulls into the driveway.
Police officer two stops the wife as she gets out of the car and attempts to validate the information about the funeral, flowers, and her leaving town. She wants to know exactly what -the hell- he is talking about.
At this moment Pabst guy erupts in true cops form screaming at the neighbor who simply wants her flowers. After a near choke hold the flowers are returned...
...But wait... Where is the Card...?
The flower shop had stated that there was a card with the flowers. Once again Pabst guy denies knowledge. The cop is getting ****ed. He actually searches the house and the trash for the card... but to no avail.
Warnings are issued, counseling brochures are handed out...
But that is all...
Until episode II? last night...
-----
So yesterday night about 6:00 this kid on the circle... who lets say is "a little slower" than usual, decides to pull his parents car into the garage. (Son of Pabst Blue Ribbon guy)
The kid is about 14, and his parents have let him do it in the past. Mind you apparently he has never done it with a stick before.
So this time it... will be different...
The kid goes to put the car into gear and for some reason looses control of it and it slams into the side of the garage... hard enough to actually jeopardize the structural integrity of the garage.
In a panic he throws it into reverse, dropping the clutch, and pulling a cookie in the garage/driveway. The car slams into the house next door and spins off into the neighborhood. The car careens through the neighbors yard and starts heading across the street.
The car, still going full, speed jumps the curb, demolishes the backyard fence of a neighboring house and, and then slams into another house before coming to a rest against it.
Few apparently witnessed it, as it was before most people were home from work.
The car is quickly moved out of the yard by the dad and put back into the garage and the garage door summarily closed. Apparently hoping no one will notice the track of carnage.
The neighbor to the left comes home and she doesn't initially notice anything until another neighbor calls her... "Uh did you see the side of your house? It got hit by a car..."
The police are quickly called.
It gets better...
-----
Well maybe it's a little anti-climatic. But anyway:
The police arrive. The dad will not open the door for the police, and says he has no idea what they are talking about.
The police... well lets just say... don't believe him and threaten a full blown "cops" episode if he and the kid don't come out. Backup is called... Eventually they both do come out.
The cops take the kid aside and he tells them what happened... And get this... The dad -still- denies it, and says it is the first time he's heard of any of this and he acts surprised to see the damaged garage, houses, fences, yards, etc...
The large lady next door leaves the house to go talk to the cops to give her 2 cents worth. The dad begins screaming at her calling her his usual set of reserved profanities.
Choke hold is applied...calm prevails.
The police are somewhat fascinated by all of this. Counseling brochures are handed out. Warnings and tickets are given...
And my friend is actually at home now, waiting for the next episode to materialize in his front living room window version of cops as I type this. Apparently he's been trying to get pictures... But the guy has already fixed the fence (or at least made it stand up)... and there are other people milling out and about in the area. He's thinking of just approaching them to ask if he can take pictures. You know, "Hey, can I take pictures and put you dumbasses on the net?"
-------------------------------
"Choke hold is applied...calm prevails."
HAHAHAHAHA!!