Things Four Year Olds Say ( HA HA)

[Guard Dog]

Things 4 year olds say!

Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is
louder than 200 adult voices?

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit,with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2a.m.,

I found my two children in bed with my wife,Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.

After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into
the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"

As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"

"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out
exactly who his Mom was. http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4yr. old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and
began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the instrument:

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School,
and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young
boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!!!" http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mic, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif
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And my personal favorite -

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, she's eating a Hostess snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're
gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She replied, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too." http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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"We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way." General George S. Patton

[This message has been edited by Guard Dog (edited 05-23-2001).]

[mac90]

Those are great! Here's mine.

I was going rabbit hunting and my 5 year old daughter came in and asked me where I was going. I said I was going rabbit hunting. She said ok, just don't shoot the easter bunny. I said how will I know which one is the easter bunny. She said I sure was silly. That the easter bunny would be carrying a little basket!

[kateykakes]

They were great, GD! Thanks for the laugh. http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif

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"There's no place like home."

[Don]

Oh lord, I'm SURE the neighbors think I've lost it completely. http://www.officer.com/ubb/redface.gif I laughed so hard that it brought tears out! http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Thanks, I needed that! http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif

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"Don't teach in German, then test in Japanese!"
6P1 (retired)

[Jim Burnes]

O'siyo,

My 5 year old grandson, Ryan was sitting at this computer listening in and watching the action on NASA TV one day. When he does this, he wears a headset with boom microphone and pretends to talk with the NASA control room action being shown.

Well, one day, as I sat next to him, while he was busy "helping" the control room, one of the controllers said very clearly:

"Ryan, get your next checklist going."

My grandson just about fell out of his chair, tearing off to his friends to tell them NASA talked to him!

GrandPa

[RaychelR]

My friends son was about two at the time.. We went out to feed the birds with some bread and he held up the entire piece of bread to the sky and said, "Here birdies.. wanna samwich?"

[Nikon]

When my daughter was around three I watched as she hit my wife with one of her books. My wife said that since she hit her with it that it was now my wifes book.

My daughter came to me and told me that Mommy took her book. I asked her if she hit her mother with the book, and she said that she had.

I told my daughter that the book now belong to Mommy.

My daughter looked at me a said plain as day, "I don't think so, Fartface".

After her Mom and I stopped laughing, we explained that that wasn't proper.

[blondie72]

LOLOLOL http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[ftrphxcop]

Reminds me of the time my son (four at the time) is sitting in the childs seat of the grocery basket and yells out "Look mom that man that man is having a baby too." Thank goodness for speech problems http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

And the time we took him to the doctors office and he yells out "it smells like fart in here" http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[Barak]

I spent my first few years in a poor neighborhood in Norman, OK. Most of my childhood friends were either Indian or Mexican, but I had never seen a black person. I saw my first black person when I was at the supermarket with my mother. I tugged at her shirt and pointed down the aisle and said in a loud voice, "Mama, look! That lady's black as sin!"

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Our rabbi was giving a children's sermon, using a driver's license as an object lesson. I don't remember now what the sermon was about, but he pulled out his driver's license and asked the assembled multitude, "Does anyone know what this is?"

"It's a driver's license!" responded one of the children proudly.

"Yes, that's right, it is!" enthused the rabbi. "Very good. Now...can anyone tell me what a driver's license is used for?"

Immediately, the rabbi's own young son responded.

"It's for giving to the officer when he stops you for speeding!"

[mac90]

In the doctors office with my very young son and a black man comes in and sits down. My son says very loudly, "Isn't that George Jefferson?"

[This message has been edited by mac90 (edited 06-19-2001).]

[goodgirl]

My father is a minister and the first time we went to the church he had in TN was rather memorable. Just as my father paused in his sermon my son shouts out "Mommy I have a boo boo on my penis!" http://www.officer.com/ubb/redface.gif As nervous laughter broke out my father just smiled and said "Yes, that is my grandson." http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif

The other incident that immediately comes to mind was about two years ago when my son's grandfather took us out to eat at Friendly's (different side of the family) and my son saw a lady sitting alone eating a sundae. He leaned back...stretched his arms over his head and said, with complete awe in his voice "You are soooo beautiful". My son's grandfather being a little hard of hearing thought my son said something about the icecream and told my son "Yes it does look good, maybe we can get some of that." http://www.officer.com/ubb/eek.gif My son just smiled really widely and shook his head yes enthusiastically http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

I have a feeling I am going to have my hands full with this one http://www.officer.com/ubb/wink.gif

[This message has been edited by goodgirl (edited 06-19-2001).]

[Barak]

Originally posted by goodgirl:
My son's grandfather being a little hard of hearing thought my son said something about the icecream and told my son "Yes it does look good, maybe we can get some of that."

Once before my wife and I were married, a bunch of us including her pastor went to the local Friendly for ice cream after a Prayer & Praise weekday-evening service.

As is my wont, I ordered one of their Jim Dandy sundaes. SOP in such cases was for me to give my fiancee the maraschino cherry on top--first because I didn't like them and she did, and secondly because after she ate the cherry she'd stick the stem in her mouth and tie it in a knot with her tongue, which was always good for a laugh.

This time, though, I was absorbed in conversation when the sundae came, and I ate the maraschino myself without even thinking.

I heard "Hey!" from across the table. My wife-to-be was staring at me with a hurt look on her face. My eyes got wide, because I heard what she was going to say before she said it, but she went ahead and said it anyway:

"I thought you were going to give me your cherry!"

The whole table instantly erupted--except for the pastor, who was desperately ignoring us--and my fiancee sat there perplexed, because she'd never heard the expression before.

She's so sheltered...

Was so sheltered, I mean: then she married me.

[1hunter]

A few years ago at a family reunion, several of the younger boys were wrasslin around when my mother in law asked them to calm down and quit being mean. Out of the blue my daughter blurts out " money is mean to you daddy" and when I replied no she is not honey, she blurted " last night she was sitting on your head in the bed"!!!!!! http://www.officer.com/ubb/redface.gif:0

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evil only triumphs when good men turn their heads and look away

[Mitzi]

When David was an adorable four year old, we all went to see the talent show at the local junior high one night. He was really excited cause we got to have a spaghetti dinner then watch the show.
After dinner was over, we all got ready to see the show. We were in the back of the auditorium and David was sitting on a table beside me so he could see better.
The first act was these 2 young girls in leotards, dancing. One of them had on this really really low-cut leotard. I thought, "Wow, that's a little racy for a girl so young." All of a sudden, David yells out, "OH MY GOD!!!". It sent the whole audience into hysterical laughter while I was desperately looking for a place to hide! LOL! David just sat there with this big grin on his face. My husband ws lauging so hard, he was crying. And when he saw ME SO EMBARASSED, he laughed even harder! lol

[This message has been edited by Mitzi (edited 06-23-2001).]

[RoadWarrior]

My son is only 2, but he's already good at embarassing adults.

One morning in church, (a small rural church), my son and 3-4 other kids were playing near the back during preaching. Apparently someone in their group broke wind, because my son announced to everyone in the room, "Baby poot!" at the top of his lungs.

Then there was the time he was playing patty-cake with the preacher while a visiting preacher was speaking.

The other night he was sitting next to my wife on the couch, watching TV and eating popcorn. He reaches over to get some popcorn, not paying attention where his hand was at, and groped her boob. I wasn't where I could see what was happening, but I heard my wife blurt out a startled http://www.officer.com/ubb/eek.gif "Get your hand off my,,,Quit that!" I fell out of my chair when I realized what had happened. Lol! http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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The Road Warrior
F.O.P. Lodge 78

"Earth is Full, Go Home!"

[This message has been edited by RoadWarrior (edited 07-03-2001).]

[kateykakes]

I used to have a cat named Cookie. It was the time of season for her to be in heat, and she was constantly trying to get out of the house.

I would always tell my son, Anthony to make sure the cat didn't get out. He must have heard me say a million times that the cat is in heat, although he never understood what it meant.

One day, while watching tv w/Anthony, Cookie was curled up in his lap. He calls me over and says, "Mom, mom, hurry, Cookie's in heat." I go over to where my son is and ask how he can tell. He looks at me with a real serious face and says, "See, I know when she's in heat. Her ears are hot."



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"There's no place like home."