Put your blonde jokes here

[mac90]

These two blondes went hiking in the woods and ended up being lost for a week and suffering from exposure. After they were found, it was determined to be a case of the blonde leading the blonde.

[ubergeek]

Q:Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes.


A:Toes Go In First

:D :D :D

[goodgirl]

What is the difference between a brick and a blonde?

The brick won't follow you around for weeks after you lay it. :p

[ranger]

What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette, blond, brunette?


A: cheerleader doing cartwheels

[Peeler]

What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus? One smells like fish and has a moustache and the other one is a walrus :D

[SpecOpsWarrior]

Q:Why did the blond climb the chain link fence?
A:To see what was on the other side.

Q:How does a blond turn on the lights after having sex?
A:She opens the car door.

Q:How do you drown a blond?
A:You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

Q:Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?
A:She kept throwing away all the W&W's.

Q:How do you know when a blond has been using your computer?
A:Theres whiteout all over the screen.

Q:How can you tell when a blond has been sending email?
A:The hard drive is stuffed with envelopes.

Q:How do you get a blond to commit suicide?
A:You put spikes on her shoulder pads.

Q:How do you confuse a blond?
A:Ask her what 2+2 is.

Ok so they werent my best jokes. :D :D :D

[ 07-21-2001: Message edited by: SpecOpsWarrior ]

[ukcop]

A blond goes into the hairdressers for a hair cut. She says to the hairdresser :
" Please cut my hair, but whatever you do, don't take off my personal stereo headphones"
"ok" says the man and starts cutting.
Soon the headphones are getting in the way, he asks her again to take them off.
"I can't" the blond replies "it's dangerous"
The man keeps cutting and those dam headphones are still getting in the way. Soon however the blond falls asleep.
Taking his chance, the hairdresser slowly removes the headphones, careful not to wake the sleeping blond customer.
As he carrys on cutting he notices that his customer has died !
"Oh no" thinks the hairdresser " how did that happen ?"

He picks up the headphones and listens :

"BREATH IN, BREATH OUT, BREATH IN, BREATH OUT"

[Blonde Heat]

How do you get a blonde with one arm out of a tree? You wave at her.

[Blonde Heat]

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? 3, One to put the bulb in and two to turn the chair.

Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? To turn the blinker off.

Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license? Because she got an F in sex.

[ 07-24-2001: Message edited by: ftrphxcop ]

[Mike Tx]

A blond was on vacation in Law Vegas. She stopped at a coke machine and put in fifty cents, and out came a coke. She put in another fifty cents and out came another coke. Ditto. Ditto. A guy in line behind her was getting impatient and asked her if she would hurry up, to which she replied, "Duh! I'm winning!"

[Peeler]

A blonde goes to see her doctor as she is having chest pains. Her sister tags along for morale support.The doctor examines her and does a few tests. He says to the blonde, " You have a weak heart, so I'm putting you on a course of tablets. Take the yellow one on Monday, skip Tuesday,take the blue on Wednesday, skip Thursday, and the red on Friday, skip Saturday and Sunday and start again for another week. Then come back and see me" A month later the blondes sister returns to the doctors dressed in black. The doctor asks where the blonde is , the sister replies that she died 2 weeks ago. The doctor, stunned, asks," didn't she take the tablets?" "oh yes " she replied, "she followed your instructions exactly". "then what killed her?" asks the doctor, "Well I think it was all that skipping"!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: :eek: :D

[FLLawdog]

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were sitting in obstetrician's waiting room making small talk when the redhead said "I read a magazine article the other day that said you could determine the sex of your baby by the sexual position you were in when it was conceived. It looks like I'm having a girl since I was on top".

The brunette said "well, in that case, I'm a having a boy".

They looked over and saw the blonde crying her eyes out and asked what's the matter.

"I'm gonna have puppies", she sobbed.

Two blondes are lost in the woods when the come up to some tracks leading into a cave. They were having a heated discussion as to whether they were deer tracks or bear tracks....then the train hit them.

[RCSO-7S05]

Why does a blonde always choose a car with tilt steering?

a: More headroom :D

[werebear]

From a blonde co-worker:

There are two sisters living alone on a ranch - one blonde and one brunette. They're in some financial difficulty, so they pool their monies and find they only have $600 left. They decide to buy a bull to breed with the neighbor's stock. The brunette decides to go off in search of the bull and will wire her sister when she finds one. Well, the brunette finds a bull, but the rancher won't sell it for a penny less then $599. So she buys the bull and goes to the Western Union to wire her sister. She tells the clerk that she wants to send a wire but finds that it's $0.99 a word. So she thinks and thinks. Finally she asks him to send only the word "comfortable". The clerk is stunned and asks, "How is your sister going to know that you found a bull and that she should come with a trailer with just the word 'comfortable'?".

"She reads slow" the sister responded.