Canadian vs American

[Neltja]

An American is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants,
bread, butter & jam when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The American ignores the Canadian who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation:
Canadian: "You American folk eat the whole bread?"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Canada, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle
it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The
Canadian has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Canadian persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread?"
American: "Of Course."
Canadian: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We
don't.
In Canada we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
jam and sell the jam to the states."
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in Canada?"
Canadian: "Why of course we do", the Canadian says with a big
smirk.
American: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used
them?"
Canadian: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Canada.

[TimTejas]

beautiful

[Don]

Nellie are you trying to start something here with our Canadian brothers and sisters? http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif If so, I'm sure this is the way to do it!

STAND BY TO STAND BY! http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif

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I used to have an open mind - but my brains kept falling out.

6P1 (retired)

[mac90]

I have no words...

LMAO!


...on second thought, I can use this! I can change the two actors and really make some friends! Thanks!

[This message has been edited by mac90 (edited 06-27-2001).]

[Neltja]

Don,

Don't worry, if our Canadian brothers and sisters throw rocks at me, I'll just hide behind the "Thin Blue Line". http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

"Nellie"

[This message has been edited by Neltja (edited 06-28-2001).]

[grum]

Oh, it's time to drop the gloves!

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".

"Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gentleman.

"I hope you won't mind my asking," said the Brit, "but what do the two red bars on your flag represent?"

"Well," replied the Canadian gentlman, "one of the bars stands for the courage and hardiness of our people in settling the cold expanses and broad prairies of our country. The other is for the honesty and integrity for which Canadians are known."

The Brit mulled this over and nodded. Having poor eyesight at his advanced age, and not being familiar with maple leaves, he then asked, "And what's that six-pointed item in the middle of your flag?"

"Oh, that's to remind us of the six words of our national motto," the Canadian lady piped up.

The Brit asked, "And what are those six words?"

The Canadian smiled and replied, "They are 'Don't blame us - we're not Americans.'"

[mac90]

Thank God! http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif

[Copper2be]

Way to go grum. Ain't it funny though, when I first heard that joke, it was the Americans bragging about their country.(Typical http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif)The Canadians were the ones to take the ribbing in stride before blowing the yanks out of the water with their witty response. Just like the yanks to take all things Canadian and claim them as American.

ie: basketball
baseball
the telephone, etc....


http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[RoadWarrior]

Originally posted by Don:
Nellie are you trying to start something here with our Canadian brothers and sisters? http://www.officer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif If so, I'm sure this is the way to do it!

STAND BY TO STAND BY! http://www.officer.com/ubb/smile.gif


Hey Don, did you ever see the movie with John Candy as an American sheriff on the Canadian border? He and some of his deputies were at a hockey game in Canada and one of them complains outloud, in an already hostile hockey arena, that "Canadian beer sucks". Then all hell breaks loose, and the U.S. president ends up declaring a fake war with Canada.

Anyway, it was hilarious.

Oh, I think it was called "Canadian Bacon"



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The Road Warrior
F.O.P. Lodge 78

"Earth is Full, Go Home!"

[Don]

I missed that one! http://www.officer.com/ubb/frown.gif I never saw ANYTHING that John Candy was in that wasn't hilarious!

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I used to have an open mind - but my brains kept falling out.

6P1 (retired)