Haunting questions

[Sgt. Geezer]

Can you cry under water?


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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?




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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?




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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


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What disease did cured ham actually have?




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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?




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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?




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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?




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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.




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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?




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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?




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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?




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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?




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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?




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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!




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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?




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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?




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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?




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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?




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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?




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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[Retired Chief]

What color does a Smurf turn when you choke it?

[PABear31]

Why are there Braille buttons on a drive up ATM?

[deputy x 2]

Why are there Braille buttons on a drive up ATM?

And how do blind people know where to "look" for the braille buttons? :confused: :confused: :confused:

[School Cop]

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

I always wondered how he could drop the letter in and get the delivery, with no mail pick-up in between.

[Hack4NYS]

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


AAARRRRGGGHHHH........You GOT ME!!! LOL!!

[CragCrawler]

Why do they call it a parkway when you drive on it and a driveway when you park on it?


Why do 24 hour 7-Elevens have locks?

Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

:D :D :D

[JPR]

Why are some crimes called hate crimes? As opposed to what.....love crimes?

[JPR]

If there are AA batteries and AAA batteries, then why aren't there A batteries?

[JPR]

If there are C batteries and D batteries why aren't there B batteries?

[grog18b]

Who investigates the cororner's death?

Who investigates crashes at the Indy 500? If another driver is involved, and keeps doing laps, is it a hit and run?

Is it an arson when they set fire to the fire department practice building? How about if someone else sets fire to it?

[Kieth M.]

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

You left out "Baa baa blacksheep."

And while we're at it...

Where does fat go, when you lose it?

Whe you're travelling at the speed of light and you turn the headlights on, do they come on?

Why is no satisfied worker ever described as a 'gruntled employee'?

[JPR]

If Obama becomes president, would that make us an Obamanation?

[horndwg]

If you put the batteries in a flashlight backwards, then turn it on, will it suck all the light out of a room?

[southga]

No, I already tried... ;)

[bowers72]

Where does the white go when snow melts?

[Camo Cop]

If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?

If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight???

If nothing sticks to teflon, then how do they make teflon stick to the pan?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear seatbelts?

If love is blind, then why is lingere so popular?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If a black box flight recorder is never damaged in a plane crash, why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If most car accidents occur within 5 kilometers of home, then why doesnt every one just move 5 k's away?

Why are psychics still working if they all know the winning lottery numbers?

If you try to fail, but you succeed, which have you done?

And my all time favorite...

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

[bdunndchi]

Statistics show that a person gets hit by a drunk driver everyday. Why doesn't that person just stay home instead of going out when he keeps getting hit by drunk drivers?

[redbird07]

Statistics show that a person gets hit by a drunk driver everyday. Why doesn't that person just stay home instead of going out when he keeps getting hit by drunk drivers?

lol

[Guams]

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


AAARRRRGGGHHHH........You GOT ME!!! LOL!!


Yeah, got me too...

And how do blind people know where to "look" for the braille buttons?

At the high school I went to, some of the room numbers were above the doorframe. Closer inspection revealed braille on the signs. I always wondered...why?

[JPR]

Why do some business establishments have signs that read "No dogs allowed, except seeing eye dogs."......Are these incredible canines also able to read?

[JPR]

Why is it that doctors are always telling us to reduce our sugar and salt consumption, but when we are admitted into a hospital the first thing they do is hook up an IV and administer salty sugar water?

[fuzzybaseball24]

If you throw a cat out the window on the interstate, does it become kitty litter?

[JPR]

If it has never been touched by "human" hands, then what kind of hands have touched it?:eek:

[JPR]

In baseball, why do groundskeepers go to the trouble of laying out neat base coach boxes since the base coaches never stand inside of them?

[JPR]

Why do the English mispronounce their own language?

1) Military (English pronunciation - Militree)

2) Aluminum (English pronunciation - Aluminium)

[KapsFB]

If you throw a cat out the window on the interstate, does it become kitty litter?

THAT was just plain wrong. Funny though; which is MUCH more important.

If you had 24 odds & ends on a table and 23 fell off. What would you have left? An "odd" or an "end"?

[LunaWolf]

If you put butter on a cat's back and drop it, which side will it land on?

:D

[Guams]

If you put butter on a cat's back and drop it, which side will it land on?

:D

ROFLMAO!!!


I need a cat now... and some butter...