Bad-*** Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)

[suncrafter]

I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-***" someone or something is.

Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad *** Quotient) System:

Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
ETC...

Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ
Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
Wasp ================================================== = 3 BAQ
Gerbil ================================================== = 5 BAQ
Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ
Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ
Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ
House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ
Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ
Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ
Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ
Gilligan ================================================== = 306 BAQ
Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ
Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ
3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ
Crack Whore ================================================ 550 BAQ
Zombie ================================================== == 749 BAQ
Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ
Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ
Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ
Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ
Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ
Stalin ================================================== ==== 1,985 BAQ
Pimp ================================================== ==== 1,990 BAQ
Wolf ================================================== ===== 2,144 BAQ
Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ
OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ
Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ
Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ
Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ
New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
Mike Tyson ================================================== = 7,961 BAQ
Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
Jackie Chan ================================================== 12,791 BAQ
L.A. Cop (armed) ============================================== 15,480 BAQ
Alligator ================================================== == 16,812 BAQ
Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
Rambo (armed with his knife) ===================================== 19,990 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
"7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================ 21,947 BAQ
Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)============================ 22,110 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================== 31,014 BAQ
Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
Elf (armed with sword) ========================================== 42,260 BAQ
Lion ================================================== ===== 48,585 BAQ
Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ===================================== 68,992 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
Vampire ================================================== == 79,323 BAQ
Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
Phoenix - from Greek mythology ================================== 98,200 BAQ
Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
bull ================================================== ===== 101,693 BAQ
Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
Robocop (armed) ============================================= 120,100 BAQ
James Bond (armed with his gun) ================================= 131,007 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
Raptor ================================================== === 152,560 BAQ
Chimera - from Greek mythology ================================== 189,324 BAQ
Green Beret (armed with AK47) =================================== 190,221 BAQ
Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ==================================== 203,331 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
Darth Vader (unarmed) ========================================= 292,405 BAQ
Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) =============================== 1,000,059 BAQ
Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ================================ 1,703,405 BAQ
Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ================================= 2,164,403 BAQ
Ellephant ================================================== = 3,064,416 BAQ
Oliphaunt ================================================== = 9,193,248 BAQ
Clifford the Big Red Dog ========================================= 9,224,710 BAQ
Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
Incredible Hulk ============================================== 10,005,106 BAQ
Magneto - from X-men movie ==================================== 12,200,943 BAQ
Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
King Kong ================================================= 90,567,890 BAQ
Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
Godzilla ================================================== 101,052,302 BAQ
Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" =============================== 120,425,300 BAQ
Zeus - king of the Greek gods ================================= 2,009,907,329 BAQ

You can find the whole list here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




Questions for all of you...

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

[eman2k5]

someone going to get banned, remember the new system. If you wouldnt say it in church dont say it here.

[exComptonCop]

Definitely #3. On a related note, I once saw Screech whoop the dog snot out of Horshack, in a celebrity boxing match...wasn't pretty. Using your chart, Horshack was a -10 in BAQ :(

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick

[taz1802]

This is too funny.

Me, probably a #1 step on me and you will get stung.. ;)
if you really p1$$ me off then #3. I will find you and you will get stung. :eek:

Generally speaking tho. 0 I'm quiet until provoked. hehehehe :D

[RR_Security]

Definitely #3.Yep.
But seriously, folks. I like GWB, but giving him 5 points over the drunk redneck? On his own, no Secret Service guys? He could probably sidestep as the redneck rushed him, and trip the drunk, or maybe duck out the back door of the bar and smack the guy in the face with a trashcan lid when the drunk came charging outside, but I dunno.

And rating a rabbit that much higher than a gerbil? Okay, there's a weight ratio going on there, and rabbits do kick with their back feet, but again, I dunno. Some gerbils know that Gerbil Voodoo stuff.

A lot of people (GWB included) could probably kick my butt in a fair fight, but "They don't pay me to fight fair, only to win." :p

[Nightshift va]

I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-***" someone or something is.

Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad *** Quotient) System:

Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
ETC...

Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ
Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
Wasp ================================================== = 3 BAQ
Gerbil ================================================== = 5 BAQ
Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ
Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ
Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ
House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ
Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ
Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ
Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ
Gilligan ================================================== = 306 BAQ
Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ
Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ
3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ
Crack Whore ================================================ 550 BAQ
Zombie ================================================== == 749 BAQ
Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ
Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ
Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ
Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ
Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ
Stalin ================================================== ==== 1,985 BAQ
Pimp ================================================== ==== 1,990 BAQ
Wolf ================================================== ===== 2,144 BAQ
Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ
OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ
Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ
Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ
Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ
New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
Mike Tyson ================================================== = 7,961 BAQ
Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
Jackie Chan ================================================== 12,791 BAQ
L.A. Cop (armed) ============================================== 15,480 BAQ
Alligator ================================================== == 16,812 BAQ
Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
Rambo (armed with his knife) ===================================== 19,990 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
"7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================ 21,947 BAQ
Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)============================ 22,110 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================== 31,014 BAQ
Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
Elf (armed with sword) ========================================== 42,260 BAQ
Lion ================================================== ===== 48,585 BAQ
Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ===================================== 68,992 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
Vampire ================================================== == 79,323 BAQ
Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
Phoenix - from Greek mythology ================================== 98,200 BAQ
Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
bull ================================================== ===== 101,693 BAQ
Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
Robocop (armed) ============================================= 120,100 BAQ
James Bond (armed with his gun) ================================= 131,007 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
Raptor ================================================== === 152,560 BAQ
Chimera - from Greek mythology ================================== 189,324 BAQ
Green Beret (armed with AK47) =================================== 190,221 BAQ
Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ==================================== 203,331 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
Darth Vader (unarmed) ========================================= 292,405 BAQ
Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) =============================== 1,000,059 BAQ
Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ================================ 1,703,405 BAQ
Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ================================= 2,164,403 BAQ
Ellephant ================================================== = 3,064,416 BAQ
Oliphaunt ================================================== = 9,193,248 BAQ
Clifford the Big Red Dog ========================================= 9,224,710 BAQ
Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
Incredible Hulk ============================================== 10,005,106 BAQ
Magneto - from X-men movie ==================================== 12,200,943 BAQ
Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
King Kong ================================================= 90,567,890 BAQ
Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
Godzilla ================================================== 101,052,302 BAQ
Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" =============================== 120,425,300 BAQ
Zeus - king of the Greek gods ================================= 2,009,907,329 BAQ

You can find the whole list here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




Questions for all of you...

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?
Dude you are halarious!! that was funny. I about broke a kidney laughing.
1) I was lucky enough to grow up fighting for sport with boxing and karate against peers so i learned quick before i became a cop those who's *** you kick kick yours on a given day..bottomline is, you win a few and you loose also. It keeps me from making stupid mistakes about underestimating people who want to fight when I arrest them. So my BAQ is never above anyones to play it safe.
2} You should have maybe added a few true badass' of military history such as every man who lived and died on the Normandy beaches of WW11 and people like George Washington, Stonewall Jackson Chesty Puller and Dan Dailey two marine warhorses. Bruce Lee and Jet li? How about Dick Butkus and Jack Lambert, Ronnie Lott Jack Tatum too great of a list to go on. Muhamad Ali in his Prime?
3)We all have too much time on our hands and should either be out working overtime or spending time with our children. such as life. I spend too much time here also.:cool:

[suncrafter]

I've updated my "Bad-A** Quotient" list! Unfortunetly the list is now too large to post here...
So if you want to see the NEW and updated list, you will need to visit: http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

Here are just a few of the 100 or so people/things that I added to the list:

Goose ================================================== ========== 205 BAQ
Triumph - the insult comic dog =================================== 311 BAQ
Mahatma Gandhi ================================================== = 409 BAQ
Mr. Noodle ================================================== ===== 411 BAQ
Stephanie - from "Lazy Town" ==================================== 498 BAQ
"Bogeyman" ================================================== ===== 500 BAQ
Paris Hilton ================================================== === 565 BAQ
Sarah Silverman ================================================ 1,091 BAQ
Al Franken ================================================== === 1,155 BAQ
Charlie Chaplin ================================================ 2,585 BAQ
Xenia Onatopp - from "GoldenEye" ============================== 6,022 BAQ
Kira Nerys - from "Star Trek" ================================== 6,040 BAQ
Genghis Khan (armed with spear, club and fuzzy hat) =========== 19,549 BAQ
Captain America (armed with his shield) ===================== 44,966 BAQ
Alyx Vance - from "Half-Life 2" (armed with pistol & shotgun)= 290,967 BAQ
Rancor - monster from "Return of the Jedi" ================ 13,909,786 BAQ
Mothra ================================================== = 115,537,207 BAQ
Superman =============================================== 1,002,065,711 BAQ

Like I said, the whole list (all 259) can be found here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

Who or what else should I add to the list?


I'll add these next time:
Muhamad Ali
George Washington
Stonewall Jackson
Chesty Puller
Dan Dailey

Anyone else I should add?

[blueronin]

Somebody has way too much time on their hands. :rolleyes:

[suncrafter]

You should have maybe added a few true badass' of military history such as every man who lived and died on the Normandy beaches of WW11 and people like George Washington, Stonewall Jackson Chesty Puller and Dan Dailey two marine warhorses. Bruce Lee and Jet li? How about Dick Butkus and Jack Lambert, Ronnie Lott Jack Tatum too great of a list to go on. Muhamad Ali in his Prime?

Thanks! I'll add those to my list the next time I update. :)

[Presence]

wow, man... Do you work for the state?

[Kieth M.]

Hey, where does my ex-wife (and her attorney) land on this scale?:eek:

[Badkharma]

You are lucky you are still alive. How dare you post Chuck Norris with a BAQ of 8,812.

His BAQ is unmeasurable. I highly doubt Zeus' tears can cure cancer; nor can his sperm turn an abandoned Datsun pickup into Optimus Prime*.

*Search for "Chuck Norris Facts" for further details if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Until this list is updated, it is null and void.

[cgh6366]

Somebody has way too much time on their hands. :rolleyes:

+1 - My exact thoughts

[Jellybean400]

This should be added on to the bottom of the "It's a Guy Thing Thread" ...

[texaschickeee]

Somebody has way too much time on their hands. :rolleyes:

He that is here not much thinks like her that is here much../.......:D

[suncrafter]

He that is here not much thinks like her that is here much../.......:D

Huh?

[WadsonF]

My offical BAQ score :

15,480 (without the training)

:D ...

[WadsonF]

OMG.. Only men could have a serious conversation about whether a Gerbil could beat up a rabbit in a fight!

These are the times when I really wonder about you guys!..lol
It does make me laugh, its just weird.

you, shh. BRAIN NINJA! :( ;)