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View Full Version : Need Firefighter insults and jokes...



DuPage286
02-10-2006, 03:34 AM
My brother is a firefighter and well, since he has been working for a couple years he has the upper hand in all the jokes right now against cops (me.) So, I need to play catchup...post your best insults/jokes here. It doesn't matter what they are, or if they are PC or any of that crap...I want them all!

mcsexplorer
02-10-2006, 08:16 AM
Tell him theres a code 3 in the backyard,see what he does.

K9tosca
02-10-2006, 08:23 AM
Tell him the reason they made police officers is so that firefighters would have heroes too. They actually make shirts wtih that logo

Bing_Oh
02-10-2006, 09:06 AM
I always prefer a quick, to-the-point name-calling when it comes to firefighters. They're not all that smart, after all, and have difficulties following jokes and getting punchlines. It's such a buzzkill when you have to explain it to them. So, try...

Nozzlejockey
Hose puller
Dalmation molester
Basement and/or Foundation saver
Water waster

You get the idea.

pkagel
02-10-2006, 09:52 AM
Hose jocky

1sgkelly
02-10-2006, 09:59 AM
When a civilian

locke1419
02-10-2006, 10:08 AM
Firefighter are the guys or gals who couldnt pass the police exam.

pkagel
02-10-2006, 10:12 AM
I know that everytime we were getting slack in the academy they would tell us that we could just go down to the fire academy if we didn't like it at the police academy. Do you think they do the opposite to the hose jocks when they're in the academy?

HFD267
02-10-2006, 10:32 AM
I think its kind of funny that you guys have to pool your resources to come up with insults.

K9tosca
02-10-2006, 10:37 AM
We "pool" to help each other because we are too busy fighting crime to think of these things on our own. Unlike firefighters who make more money to sleep and lounge around all day at a climate controlled station waiting for the next call if one even comes in on their shift. :p And don't get anal on me we are just kidding, we all need each other and are on the same side, just stress reducing fun.

Slowing-Dee
02-10-2006, 11:39 AM
We "pool" to help each other because we are too busy fighting crime to think of these things on our own. Unlike firefighters who make more money to sleep and lounge around all day at a climate controlled station waiting for the next call if one even comes in on their shift. :p

And yet they still get free coffee at Tim Hortons.

I don't know how it is where you live, but here a fire truck comes to every MVA if the paramedics are called. But from personal experience I've found that they can be a great tool for assisting with re-gaining alertness.

1sgkelly
02-10-2006, 12:14 PM
If you can

1sgkelly
02-10-2006, 12:17 PM
If you want to save your cat call a firefighter; if you want to save your *** call a cop.

:p

Contact
02-10-2006, 02:11 PM
Next time he pokes at you for being a cop in front of other people...

"Hey, if you would have gotten 4 more questions correct on the exam, you could have been a cop too."

RabbitMPD
02-10-2006, 02:27 PM
I think its kind of funny that you guys have to pool your resources to come up with insults.
I think it's kind of funny that it only took a matter of hours for somebody to get their panties in a wad. :rolleyes:

But don't worry, everybody loves a fireman. Be sure to smile and wave to your fans (if you decide to roll out of bed). Next time you're getting paid to fry up a steak give me a call. :D

DuPage286
02-10-2006, 02:40 PM
Nice ones. Last confrontation about it was:
Brother: "What are you gonna do? Arrest me ?"
Me: "No. Its my day off. I am a firefighter today because I have done nothing."

medic_9
02-10-2006, 04:15 PM
Hose Monkey...

We (as in my paramedic association) just had shirts made with "Paramedics...Because firefighters need heros too." Very good reaction when we wear them. :p

If H2O stands for water, what do you find on a hydrant?
- K9P (Canine pee)

Firefighter jokes (http://www.rescuehouse.com/firefighters/jokes.php)

HFD267
02-10-2006, 04:29 PM
I think it's kind of funny that it only took a matter of hours for somebody to get their panties in a wad. :rolleyes:

:D

No wadded panties here, I said I thought it was funny. Your being very defensive, any idea why?????

bradruth
02-10-2006, 04:53 PM
"*Insert city name here* Fire Department...there's never been a basement they couldn't save!"

e-man
02-10-2006, 05:30 PM
Lets face it guys, were all jealous that we cant sit and watch that BIG SCREEN TV, work out, sleep, COOK, play with other mens HOSES, sit outside the 'house' and watch the ladies walk by, and numerous other things ALL ON TAXPAYERS DIME. :D :D ANd a few times a year they actually get to play hero and spray water on a burning building!!! I scored too high on the exam I wanna be a fireman... :D

toby101
02-10-2006, 05:34 PM
Lets face it guys, were all jealous that we cant sit and watch that BIG SCREEN TV, work out, sleep, COOK, play with other mens HOSES, sit outside the 'house' and watch the ladies walk by, and numerous other things ALL ON TAXPAYERS DIME. :D :D ANd a few times a year they actually get to play hero and spray water on a burning building!!! I scored too high on the exam I wanna be a fireman... :D


You can't forget about only work 1/2 a month to and going on vacation the other half.

formercop
02-10-2006, 05:43 PM
And for the love of God, in this politically correct world, it's fireFIGHTER.

Oh, and it'd be nice if our EMS would show up to stuff when they're not busy STUFFING THEIR FACES. ;)

formercop
02-10-2006, 05:46 PM
You can't forget about only work 1/2 a month to and going on vacation the other half.

Nope, the other half is called days off, not vacation.

oldtrooper
02-10-2006, 06:07 PM
The best description I've ever heard of the two jobs:

Firefighters are the mommies, they make the owies feel better and do all the good things, like save grandmothers house.

Police officers are the daddies, they enforce the rules and keep the bad guys away so everyone else, firefighters included, can sleep safely.

zap
02-10-2006, 07:21 PM
The best description I've ever heard of the two jobs:

Firefighters are the mommies, they make the owies feel better and do all the good things, like save grandmothers BASEMENT.

Police officers are the daddies, they enforce the rules and keep the bad guys away so everyone else, firefighters included, can sleep safely.






and another ten characters for free.........

ChiTownDet
02-10-2006, 07:24 PM
I always get a kick out of seeing the "Heros" driving up to Jewel to get groceries driving a half million dollar rig, because the "Batallion Chief" won't give up his Explorer or CV for shopping, while he watches pay-per-view back at the house..
Our guys have numerous names for them after they striked in 1980 and screwed around numerous coppers with their antics..

Downeaster
02-10-2006, 08:18 PM
Being a firefighter is the SECOND most honorable profession I know which involves a brass pole.

The other one requires me to have a roll of singles to truly appreciate.

GWBJR
02-10-2006, 08:22 PM
I have never seen anyone talk a fire out.

Magnum314
02-10-2006, 09:56 PM
Q. How can you tell when a firefighter is dead????
A. The remote control slips from his hand.

UnitK
02-10-2006, 10:54 PM
How come a firefighter does not look out the window in the morning ? .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .............................................So that he has something to do in the afternoon !

BrickCop
02-10-2006, 11:12 PM
It's the only job where they wake you up when it's time to go home... :D

HFD267
02-10-2006, 11:42 PM
Cop Rock...........Based on a true story.

qwerty
02-11-2006, 10:49 AM
My father is a firefighter and I'm about to start the academy. We go back and forth all the time. It never gets heated. All fun and games. We'll both be there to back each other up soon.

PC Plum
02-11-2006, 10:56 AM
Over here, the fire service are refered to as "trumpton" after a kids tv series..but that will be lost on you guys over there.

sergeantbell
02-13-2006, 10:26 AM
How can you tell if the downed power lines are live?

Look for the firemen laying on the ground next to them.


I saw a bulletin for the local fire academy. They said they had openings in Hose Inspection 101. <----seriously (wonder what kind of hoses they are inspecting?)


Ever wonder why a fireman can axe down your door and ruin everything with water and you bake them a pie?
But I knock on your door to let you know that your garage door is open and I hear a round racking in a shotgun.

Tell a fireman: I kill what you heal. And see what he says.