Officer Involved Shooting

[Centraldep15]

Recently, I was involved in a shooting resulting in the death of the suspect. In short, It was fight resulting in me having to shoot him to survive. I don't really have any feelings for the bad guy. My wife seems to think I should. I tell her that he made the decision to put me in that position. I'm here and he's not.

Does anyone else in this field have any other feelings or similar reactions?

[NJladyGlock21]

Recently, I was involved in a shooting resulting in the death of the suspect. In short, It was fight resulting in me having to shoot him to survive. I don't really have any feelings for the bad guy. My wife seems to think I should. I tell her that he made the decision to put me in that position. I'm here and he's not.

Does anyone else in this field have any other feelings or similar reactions?
First, way to go ;) Glad you are ok brother. You went home and that's all that matters. Youre right, he made that decision to die himself. Now, he will rot in hell ;)

Your wife will not ever completely understand b/c she does not do the same thing you do. Don't let it make you feel like you may be reacting the wrong way. You know this...as LEOs we put a lot behind us that most people can't. It's part of the job and a lot of people that are not LEOs don't understand it. It's normal.

I have not been in your position so I can't comment on any other feelings or similar reactions.

[Centraldep15]

Thanks for your reply my brother. I :) appreciate the possitive comments.

[pkagel]

Maybe a couple of joint counseling sessions with a LE shrink would help your wife better understand you or even help you understand you better. I've never been and hopefully never will be in your shoes but it is just an opinion.

[Bigg Dogg]

Been there and done that back in the Spring of 97.I really didn't have any remorse about shooting the guy,but had a hell of alot of problems on the political end of the job.
You just need to sit your wife down and explain that you had to do what you had to do to come home to her that night.Explain to her,that you could not live with the other alternative,literally!!
Hang in there.The first few months are the hardest after a incident like this.Don't be afraid to talk about it,it always helped me and still does.

[ChiTownDet]

Some feel you should feel bad, sad for the offender. keep the mindset that this guy was trying to kill you and you did what was necessary to survive.. The civil end will be tough because the lawyers will try to show how great a guy the offender was.. Keep that image of the incident and how this offender acted in your mind when they do..Talk to your best friend on the job about the incident if you have to..Congrats, Brother you're here to tell us about it, you survived...

[Centraldep15]

I wanted to say thanks to all of you in regards to your comments about the shooting. I really appreciate comments from other brothers and sisters in the same field. This is my first time using a LEO forum. I didn't realize how supportive you guys would be. The thought now is just getting through the legal and civil parts. This is my second shooting, but the first where the perp died. The worst part is to sit around and wait to see what the investigation will determine.

[VACOP1]

Centraldep15,
The b/g problem would not be losing sleep if you were on the opposite end. Glad you are alright, and made it home to your family

[Vtfuzz]

I was involved in a shooting last year and while I certainly wish the event never happened, I feel no remorse for the person who put me into that position. I think the hardest thing to get over is all the fallout (ie. no backing from chief, all the interviews, and the grand jury testimony). I get really aggravated at times thinking that I had to go all through this because of someone else's stupid mistake and me having to defend myself. Good luck, I hope you have smoother sailing than I did...

[rookie2812]

Centraldep15,

You did what you had to do in order to survive. The bad-guy's fate was determined by his own actions, not yours. You reacted the way you were trained and the way you needed to in order to return safely to your family and friends. It was him or you. I'm glad you are still with us. Stay safe.

[pumpkin]

Maybe a couple of joint counseling sessions with a LE shrink would help your wife better understand you or even help you understand you better. I've never been and hopefully never will be in your shoes but it is just an opinion.

Besides the joint sessions, your wife might want to talk to the LE shrink by herself... or maybe the chaplain or another older, more experienced LE wife.

Good job coming home safe.

[deputytx1979]

I was in a shooting in 2003 during a standoff with a mental unstable person. Feel free to contact me if you wish to speak with a deputy who has been there.
christopher_whatley@yahoo.com

[mattph4716]

You did what you had to do. The suspect's death is just the cost of doing business in this job. It was his actions that caused this. For some reason in the academy recruits are brain washed into thinking that if you shoot and kill someone your life has to be over. If you are married you get divorced, your kids will hate you, you have to see a shrink for years. This is not true at all. I know of many officers that have been in this situation and are doing great and move along in life as if it never happened. I think the key is having the mind set that this is a job and you did what you had to do and leave it at work.

[hemicop]

Central, you did what you had to & GOOD FOR YOU! Don't let the political BS get to you. As was said keep in mind the puke wanted to kill you & your wife should remember that too. You'll second guess yourself at least once & that's normal. I agree you should talk about about it if you feel the need but don't think because you're neutral about ti there's something wrong.Many call it being professional. If you're that calm about it,I'd probably call it a good shooting ;) .Enjoy the rest of your life,you earned it.

[Nutri]

Hey Central,

I was in a shoot back in '01, and actually there were several of us together that took down an active shooter. I knew that my wife would be asking questions, want details, and generally need to make a connection to someting in the incident that I may not have been able to provide to her through my answers and explanations. In relating my concerns to the other Officers that were involved, we all decided to ask the administration and investigators to let our wives go through every investigational interview and debreifing with us. They saw every picture, listened to Q&A, and saw the dash-cam video that actually caught the shooting on tape. It was a real help!! I would highly recommend this as a way to open doors and keep the lines of communication open between you and your wife. Take care man!!

[hmm]

First- You

[horne80]

Rock on.. We carry a gun for a reason. Bet you'll be on the range more now won't you :)

Glad you are safe. One less bad guy on the streets, congratulations. Remind your wife its the bad guy that's dead, not you. Imagine how she'd of felt if it was you dead... jeeze..

I would think you coming home and being like "Killed me a bad guy today.." she'd be like.. oh my god! take off your pants!

[slamdunc]

Life or death situation, I let the air out of a bad guy AFTER he shot my partner (FTO) & was shooting at me. The investigation went smoothly, but I got sued for a civil rights violation. Race was the issue; the bad guy happened to be hispanic and the family thought that was what caused the incident.
If you haven't been sued, it's just too soon or you're really lucky.
Go home after every shift in the same condition you showed up.

[SammyCal1]

At first I was thinking that your wife was being insensative to the way you were feeling, but the more I think about it, she is probably worried that you are in some sort of denial about your feelings towards the shooting. She probably wants to make sure the weeks, months, or even years from now you are not going to blow up over what happened. Don't shut her out. Help her to understand what happened and how it's affecting you.

Hopefully your department has some kind of Post Critical Incident care for you and your family if necessary.

You're safe and that's what's most important. Good job.

Sammy

[vicmackey]

All good advice here. Are you through the investigation yet? If not, be careful what you post online about it.

[vsp1242]

Let me first say GREAT JOB!
I was involved in 2 shootings in 6 months in 1999. The 1st was a 17 yr old crack dealer and the other was a coked up 30 yr old who tried to run over my shift partner. The 1st one got a couple holes and lived and the 2nd got a lot of holes and died at the scene.
When i sat down with the head shrinker (we are required to go...not that its a bad thing) that was my 1st question..."Doc is it bad that I'm not losing any sleep or having any bad feelings about this?" In both instances she said NO!
Some people just deal with it differently than others. Try to get with others in your dept that have been involved in shootings. In most cases you'll find that your reposnses are (for the most part) the same. If you can, incorporate your wife in these disscussions.

[AMW4]

First, glad to hear you're ok. That is the most important thing. I was in the same situation in '94. When I told my wife about the shooting I had already dealt with my feelings about the bad guy. She thought that I should have some sad feelings for him, but I didn't. What she and your wife need to remember is that as officers we deal with the possiblity of killing someone from the first day of the academy and every day after that.

Our dealing with the death of a bad guy begins long before the shooting starts. Your wife started dealing with it the moment you told her about it and figures you started dealing with it the moment it happened. You need to explain to her how you've dealt with this moment long before it happened and then give her time to deal with it and accept it.

Good job and good luck!

[SigCop]

First let me say that I hope you are doing OK. I've been a cop almost twelve years and I've never been involved in a shooting (knock on wood). I'm in no hurry to be in one. In my experience most cops spouses get better at understanding our job the longer they are cops spouses, BUT UNDERSTAND THIS they will never REALLY understand your job. You can only hope they get more understanding as time goes by. I've been a soldier, construction worker, did the Wal-Mart and McDonalds thing and after 12 years of being a cop I can tell you one thing, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A COP EXCEPT A COP! To be quite honest I'm not even comfortable with cops second guessing cops (a practice I find goes on all too often). Quit second guessing yourself, If you feel like that at that time you had no other choice then leave it at that. Learn from the experience but don't spend a bunch of time second guessing yourself. What's done is done. I'm just glad you still here to do the job tomorrow.