Quotes from the Street

[CleanCutStu]

Anyone have any funny quotes you've heard from people on the street?

My personal favorites from around here:

-"It ain't my fault you been in da tenth grade three times!"
-"You think you's growner than you really is..."
-"I want him carrested!"
-[after failing a breath test] "I guess you cant have beer and drive anymore, huh?"

[PFL]

I birthed that baby.

[Photogrrlz]

I wasn't buying crack, I am buying herion....


*as quoted by a robbery victim*

[Arresting Lady]

"Dude! Look! It's a cop babe!"

[criticalthinker]

deleted. Wrong forum

[1BAD-SS]

From President Bush's State of the Union Address 2-2-2005

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/02/20050202-11.html


Quote for the reason to reform Social Security...

"So here is the result: Thirteen years from now, in 2018, Social Security will be paying out more than it takes in. And every year afterward will bring a new shortfall, bigger than the year before. For example, in the year 2027, the government will somehow have to come up with an extra $200 billion to keep the system afloat -- and by 2033, the annual shortfall would be more than $300 billion. By the year 2042, the entire system would be exhausted and bankrupt. If steps are not taken to avert that outcome, the only solutions would be dramatically higher taxes, massive new borrowing, or sudden and severe cuts in Social Security benefits or other government programs."

22 Paragraphs later...

"I will ask Congress for $350 million to support Palestinian political, economic, and security reforms. The goal of two democratic states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace, is within reach -- and America will help them achieve that goal."


$350 Million to Palestine? What has Palestine done for me? I honestly don't give a sh** if they can live side by side in peace or not... How about putting that money back to Social Security. With Clinton we had a surplus of money and now we have a major deficit. Am I the only one who thinks this is funny? (In a sad way...)

Sorry for the politics...I just thought it was funny when he said social security was going to run out of money and he wants to give $350 million to Palestine...

CT


Here's an idea...take your liberal non law enforcement butt to another forum. ;)

[1sgkelly]

Here's an idea...take your liberal non law enforcement butt to another forum. ;)

Well said Sir.

[criticalthinker]

Here's an idea...take your liberal non law enforcement butt to another forum. ;)


Liberal? Not quite sure what that means. I didn't see the forum... sorry.

CT

[Code3kd]

From President Bush's State of the Union Address 2-2-2005

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/02/20050202-11.html


Quote for the reason to reform Social Security...

"So here is the result: Thirteen years from now, in 2018, Social Security will be paying out more than it takes in. And every year afterward will bring a new shortfall, bigger than the year before. For example, in the year 2027, the government will somehow have to come up with an extra $200 billion to keep the system afloat -- and by 2033, the annual shortfall would be more than $300 billion. By the year 2042, the entire system would be exhausted and bankrupt. If steps are not taken to avert that outcome, the only solutions would be dramatically higher taxes, massive new borrowing, or sudden and severe cuts in Social Security benefits or other government programs."

22 Paragraphs later...

"I will ask Congress for $350 million to support Palestinian political, economic, and security reforms. The goal of two democratic states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace, is within reach -- and America will help them achieve that goal."


$350 Million to Palestine? What has Palestine done for me? I honestly don't give a sh** if they can live side by side in peace or not... How about putting that money back to Social Security. With Clinton we had a surplus of money and now we have a major deficit. Am I the only one who thinks this is funny? (In a sad way...)

Sorry for the politics...I just thought it was funny when he said social security was going to run out of money and he wants to give $350 million to Palestine...

CT




WHAT IN THE WILD WILD WORLD OF SPORTS IS GOING HERE??


Hey critical thinking one...what the hell does that have to do with what we are talking about here.

Quotes from the "people" on the streets is referring to those we come in contact with out in the field. If you were law enforcement you would have picked up on that.


Back to the topic...


I pull up to this guy in my unit to ask a question and he jumps back about four feet, puts his hands out as if pushing away from me and pleads loudly...

"I don't know nothing about no robbery at the Texico!!!"

After my partner and I get through proning his butt out and securing him, the 211 call comes out at the Texico. Just as the RTO finished talking I took the call and told her we had the suspect in custody.

[Evtech]

There is always that ubiquitous quote we get when stopping someone for speeding: Have you met your quota yet?

I came up with the reply: No, one more and I win the microwave.

[jricks]

I arrested a drunk driver on halloween several years ago. He was dressed as a television crime fighter.....when I told him he was under arrest, he grabbed his cape and pulled it across his face and stated "You can't arrest me...I'm Batman!"
I simply replied "Bet me Batman" and put the cuffs on him.

[Omega4]

He couldn't breath very well so I rubbed lotion on his feet.

[CleanCutStu]

Driver: "I see what's going on here...you're trying to meet your quota! You guys do have a quota, don't you?"
Officer: "Nope, I can write as many tickets as I want."

--------------------
My dad was a sergeant for 25 years on the same department I now work for...I think my favorite one that he ever told me was the lady that he pulled over because one of her tail lights was burnt out--and he planned to let her go with a verbal. As soon as he walked up to the window, she said, "Officer, I'm so sorry, I promise I'll never drink and drive ever again!"

[Photogrrlz]

I almost forgot a drunk I arrested and when it was time to tow her car she was like "You can tow my car, I have insurance" She also worked for the BMV...lol

[USP45FAN]

10 minutes after getting stunned this idiot says. "as a concerned citizen, I recommend that you turn up the voltage on your electronic stun device."

[Photogrrlz]

How about this one I just heard today....


"I think you all are just picking on me, I don't have a warrant"

[medic_9]

From the paramedic streets...

"I started compressions...you know...CPR". - Talking about their friend who is also drunk who is complaining of chest pain after waking up to find the quoter doing compressions.

"She just got her breath back" - Nursing home RPN as we are walking to the room to find the patient VSA (vital signs absent).

Guy - "I've been stabbed!"
Me - "Really??"
Guy - "Yeah, man, I've been stabbed!" - lifts up shirt...sure enough...
**Long story --> short version - my partner wanted a coffee, we went to Tim Hortons, lined up out the door as the bar had just let out, she said nevermind. As i'm turning around guy runs up to my window...see above..

[e-man]

My favorite is everyones favorite ghetto saying
"He aint nuttin to me, he just my babies daddy" :mad: Oh how glad Iam to be out of the GHETTO.

[1BAD-SS]

Me filling out an arrest report: What is your occupation?
Oxygen Bandit: What dat mean?
Me: Do you have a job?
Oxygen Bandit: I draws a check/I'm disabled(said with pride)
Me: So you are unemployed?

[CleanCutStu]

Lady: "I pay your salary."
Officer: "With all due respect ma'am, you live in Section 8 housing...you don't pay property taxes."
Lady: "What's that 'spost to mean?"
Officer: "You don't pay my salary."

[RabbitMPD]

I pulled over a drunk chick (pretty good looking too) and was trying to give her a PBT.

Me: OK ma'am I need you to blow into this tube as hard as you can.
Drunk chick: I'll blow you!

Should have taken her up on that. :D

[webjeep]

Lady: "I pay your salary."
Officer: "With all due respect ma'am, you live in Section 8 housing...you don't pay property taxes."
Lady: "What's that 'spost to mean?"
Officer: "You don't pay my salary."


Proper response... "STFU I pay your rent."

[OffDuty]

Well, the most original thing I have heard (not the usual 'those arent my pants') is when I pulled a guy over and I ask for ID (since an operators license is more of a luxury item in the ghetto- like valid car insurance, or plates that belong to the vehicle it is on).

let me see your ID (passes ID-only card). "Wheres your drivers license?"

"I dont gots no license"

"why not exactly"

"well, officah, you know how it is in da' hood"

Thing is, I DO know how it is in da hood. So I let him park it, walk, get it later and no cites.. the originality and refreshingly honest answer impressed me enough on that day. :cool:

[OffDuty]

Lady: "I pay your salary."
Officer: "With all due respect ma'am, you live in Section 8 housing...you don't pay property taxes."
Lady: "What's that 'spost to mean?"
Officer: "You don't pay my salary."


I have used that line before, and they all claim that they do. I guess *I* must not know any better. :rolleyes:

[Seventy2002]

At-fault driver at collsion scene: "I wan't following too close, I had room to skid before I hit him!"

[PFL]

Don't know how I forgot this one:

Drunk 17 year old driving in a school parking lot- while school was letting out.

"You can't arrest me. My dad is a brain surgeon and he works on all you f-ing guys."

[So Fla Cop]

How old was you when you was young?

[Beanstick]

Crazy guy: I killed this girl at 17 Country Ln.
Me: Well sir, I can tell you right now that there is no 17 Country Ln in this city or in the neighboring cities either.
Crazy guy: You sure? God told me it was there.
Me: Really?
Crazy guy: Yeah, you need to make sure.
Me: we did sir. There is no Country Ln anywhere.
Crazy guy: Why would God lie to me?
Me: I dont know sir. By the way, did God give you a zip code?

[kirch]

ME (filling out booking sheet): Do you have a professed religion?
DRUNK: [unintelligible]
ME: Excuse me?
DRUNK: [mumbling]
ME: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What's your religious affiliation?
DRUNK (shouting): I'm gay, fer crissakes!
ME: I'll put down 'No Professed Religion'.

[Code3kd]

We line up in the hallway after roll call and the LT walks down the line inspecting us. He passes me and two or three officers down he stops at a crusty oldtimer and says...

"Still carrying that old six shooter? That thing even work?"

Oldtimer replies...

"Got your vest on?"