Most idiotic call to Police

[Cockney Corner.]

I thought the time someone called us to report a fire because they didn't want to bother the Fire Brigade was bad. I thought we couldn't top the time someone called us because they thought their house might be haunted. I felt sure no-one could be as stupid as the person who called the Police and demanded we do something to stop an earthquake.

But I think this one is going to be hard to beat...

... and I quote ...

999 call

Incident details

I BOUGHT SOME TIC TACS THAT WERE OUT OF DATE AND THEY HAVE MADE ME SICK. I WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Can anyone beat that?

[MPD-A9]

The stupidity of people these days.

[PFL]

Neighbor dispute: An idiot called to complain that leaves were falling into her yard from her neighbor's tree after she just had hers cleaned up by landscapers. She actually handed me a rake and told me to clean them up and put them onto the neighbor's lawn, "where they belong."

[Delta784]

We had someone call 911 to complain that it was raining too hard.

[BuzzLightyear]

We had someone call 911 to complain that it was raining too hard.

I assume you went to church and dealt with the situation? ;)

[Seventy2002]

Since our regional dispatch center gets to ding the taxpayers every time they press the transmit button we believe there are no undispatched calls.

Recent example: Report of a chicken at the side of the road; caller afraid it will run in front of a car and cause an accident.

We tell dispatch we don't do "dog at large" calls when the animal control officer isn't working. As soon as the ACO calls off-duty, the dogs become "traffic hazards."

My favorite waste of tax $$: Rolling an ambulance for someone with a ear ache. He called from a pay phone 50 yards from the fire station.

[Camo Cop]

Several years ago the small town department that I worked for got a call from a "lady" who wanted to complain that a fella refused to pay her the $20 he promised her after they had sex. She even gave us a statement right before she got a citation for prostitution.

Then... to top it off the "perpetrator" gave us a statement wherin he admitted that he agreed to pay her $20 for sex but later refused because the sex "sucked". We gave him a souvenier too.

[uncle mitchie]

Taxpayer called reporting ice cream truck was making too much noise .Caller didn't like the song that was being played.

[Code3kd]

Our 911 system gets overloaded constantly because idiots call to get directions, phone numbers, and T.V. listings.

Meanwhile the people with the real emergency wind up on hold.

I'm being generous when I say "IDIOTS"

[cst.sb]

We had a call about a problem passenger on a rapid transit train. We hooked up with it too find some EDP guy enraged over a woman BOTTLE feeding her baby. The trains have a no food or drink rule. In this case the complainant was the problem!

When in doubt, arrest the victim! :p

[jakflak]

My personal favorite is the lady who called in a panic because she just discovered that her neighbor's turkeys were being raised for a thanksgiving feast.

[MemphisPD]

I had a guy to call about a loose dog in his yard. I get there and talk to him and found out IT WAS HIS DOG. He was afraid of it and it "wouldn't go in the backyard." I told him "I'm gone, all we do is shoot dogs."

Of course we get prank calls that are sometimes funny. Someone called last week saying there was a dog on the overpass that looked like it was going to jump.

I like to call in suspicision vehicle calls acting as the desk officer after I know someone is in the sleep hole.

[Tinkertoys]

These are true:

Dispatcher: 911, What is your emergency?
Caller: *panting* I.....can't.....breathe......
Dispatcher: Sir, are you an ashmatic?
Caller: No*panting*
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you called?
Caller: Running....from.... Police

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?
Caller:Someone stole my mailbox
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks.

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?
Caller: My woman is trying to kill me.
Dispatcher: Does she have any weapons?
Caller: Well, she has real long fingernails.

-tink

[1code12]

Not long ago, we get dispatched to 'an assist to a citizen', which is what dispatchers like to label calls when they have no idea what else to label it as. When we got the complaint on the MCT, it said the complainant was having sewer problems. When we got to the lady's house, she wanted us to fix her toilet! After telling her that's what a plumber is for, she wanted us to call the police department plumber!!!

Also, about a couple of years ago, some lady's parrot flew out of her house, in the middle of winter. She called us a couple of months later and wanted us to help her look in the woods behind her residence for the bird.... After I told her in all likely hood her parrot was probably deceased, she called in a personnel complaint on me!!!

[SlowDownThere]

The guy who calls to complain that his neighbor mows his front yard side-to-side. Everyone else mows it front-to-back and why can't he?

Or the lady who calls to complain that the street lights aren't on yet, even though it's still daylight. Almost every night.

[Delta784]

I assume you went to church and dealt with the situation? ;)

I told her that I would throw the Master Switch in the station, which apparently satisfied her.

[vsp645]

A woman calls us just about every night with a new problem. It turns out that to get rid of the chronic call ins a deputy had responded earlier in the evening and said that when he checked behind the woman's house that he had seen the headless horseman and had to get out of there at which point he jumped in his car and fled at high speed (I assume with tongue firmly planted in cheek). For the next two weeks our state police office recieved calls about the headless horseman harassing her.

A different woman called the local resort police office to complain that someone had stolen a tree out of her yard. She didn't want to get the police involved she just wanted us to know.

Another local had called in about lascivious activity happening next door at her neighbors house. When I arrived on scene her neighbors were in the throws of passion and the complainant was standing underneath their window watching through the second story window on the neighbors property. Don't you wish you could charge people with first degree meddling?

[hellhound130]

i had one were a person wanted to complain of a suspious person going door to door selling candy for the local basketball team. Ask what he look like, the man replied he was young black kid dress in a suit and tie, stating he was on a basketball team and selling candy to raise money for uniforms. Of course he told me he asked the kid for proof of id and the kid said he was fourteen and didnt have any. Of course this man that complain was from a upclass white neighborhood. :rolleyes:

[SammyCal1]

I'd like to report a suspicious person.

What's suspicious about him?

He's skipping and singing. That's not normal behavior and he should be checked out.

Also. now every middle eastern looking person carrying a camera is a suspicious person that may be plotting to attack Little Falls, NJ.

The you get the people that really need us that say, "I did not want to bother you guys."

Sammy

[Quopper]

One of the local quacks called 911 because they wanted me to change out the back porch light when it burned out. I was amazed that dispatch took the call and assigned it. :confused:

[VIPER]

- I've been sent out to check the area for "Low flying ducks" (Traffic Hazzard)

- Someone actually called in a loose deer ( she thought maybe it was a loose pet)

- A woman called to have us come and shovel her snow.

..and then there are the crazies of course.

[APDSgt]

Assist citizen - report of a green tree frog in her bathtub

Information - complainant says dust from a construction site is blowing in her pool

[JRT6]

People reporting that they got ripped off in a crack deal: we get about one of those a year.

Guy called and complained someone spread crap all over his yard, turns out he had his lawn aerated.

Someone reported once that a boy scout was planting flowers around a church sign and they thought that should be checked out.

Neighor dispute_________(insert story here)

[Dannyc188]

one of our guys is on line at McDonalds drive thru and runs the tag of the car in front of him. the driver of the car who has just finished paying for his food gets scared when the cop gets out of his car and takes off. after a short chase its called off by the supervisor.

30 minutes later we get a call from the McDonalds that the guy was back in a different car trying to get the food he paid for. we arrive and take the guy into custody. after a review of the tape at the drive thru he was positively identified and the car was recovered shortly afterwards

Dumbass

[Toledocop]

Judging by some of these stories most of you dont have a "Misuse of 911" code to charge people with? It one of my personal favorites :D...I had a lady call once with a ''medical emergency'' when fire arrived on scene she refused to allow them to enter to check her out. After 20 minutes of coaxing we got in, fire said she was OK, but she was drunk so I charged her with the above code(she also had warrants) and took her to jail :cool:

[setexas]

Lady called and wanted us to come out because her child would not fold his socks.

Lady called and said Costa Ricans were wearing her panties when she was at work. I made a sign that said "No Costa Ricans Allowed" and put one on her door. She said thanks and we never heard from her again.

[AMT8951]

Our dept took several calls from a woman who stated that her neighbors where harassing her because she had seven fathers. She went on to say that as part of a government experiment, scientists had mixed the seamen of seven prominent local bussiness men together, and that she was thier Off spring. She also was concerned that her neighbors where going to steal the gold that the U.S. Army implanted in her knee caps. Scary thing was, the woman was a butcher by trade.

Also TRY this Link: A woman calls 911 because Burger King messes up her order. I'm pretty sure it's real.
bk 911 (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/bk.html)

[DeputySC]

On a daily basis we get the 'my child wont listen" calls. I have had parents try to make police reports for larceny on their own 5 year old kids for takeing things from around the house and hiding them. Some calls get pretty funny.

[littlesimo]

A few years ago before I became an officer, I was interning with the local sheriff dept. The dispatch took a 911 cell call requesting directions to the local Best Western Hotel.

[ICE-MAN]

Last Sunday I got a call about a dispute of money. So I responded to the local crap hole hotel you know the one that you can get a room for a month or a week and it is like an apartment, I hate that place. I get there talk to the complaintant he tells me he gave his naighbor $100 to get him some thing, so i asked him what was something, he said you know something, I said no I dont know what is something, so he said crack I looked back at my partner and then looked at him. My eyes most of burned him, I was not mad Iwas not upset, I was enraged. I told him it was a civil dispute take it to court.

[MsMilhouse]

Dead owl on the lawn.

Parking outside of the lines at the local college.

Dead bear on the lawn (turned out to be a dead dog)

Raccoon on deck.

[Bighead]

I was working as 911 operator one Sunday afternoon. I answer and incoming call, and this woman proceeds to tell me that she ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut, they delivered it and it was "really bad" and stops talking. I assume this call is going to continue into fist fight with delivery guy or something, so I say "...and then what happened?"

"Well, it was just really bad, can't you do anything about that?"

I was amazed, and it turned out that the whole story was the delivery driver wouldn't help her, the pizza was raw and cold, and that when she called the store to complain she kept getting hung up on.

If you can believe it, I got out the phone book, gave her the phone number for corporate Pizza Hut, and then proceeded to explain to her that she could never ever call 9-1-1 again (not really, but I did admonish her severely).

[Cockney Corner.]

We've got a really high standard of stupidity here. We ought to do some sort version of the Darwin Awards. Anyway one more for the mix. A 999 (911) call naturally. The caller found a shirt in her wash-bin (husband's). It was dirty when it was put in there. It was slightly dirtier when she washed it. Clearly someone must have broken in, worn it and then put it back in the wash. Criminals - do they have no decency?

[pumpkin]

The woman who called to complain that her neighbors were making too much noise at 9 pm (fireworks) on the 4th of July . Neither noise nor fireworks ordinance there.

[actiontrooper]

There is a report of a burglary at a commercial location. The perp fell through an overhead vent and landed right on top of the night watchman security guard. Around the same time, in the middle of the AM hours a guy calls from his residence a block away to report a lost wallet. Arriving at the scene the guy is covered in soot and panting. I take the gentleman's name and date of birth for a "report". His wallet had already been recovered at the scene of the burglary. One under for burglary.

[fahrenheit]

- Squirrel in the living room

- Neighbor dispute: my neighbor's tree is leaning over my property. It could fall!

- Neighbor dispute: my neighbor is a b****. Come with me while I tell her so.

- Neighbor dispute (notice a theme here?): my neighbor is throwing away a mattress and it's on the curb (this occurred on garbage pick-up day).

[medic_9]

Tonight....

911...What is your emergency..(id comes up as the lobby of the hospital)

The nurse in the ER told me to call for an ambulance..

Ok...

My husband has a slow leaking aneurysm and he has a bad headache.
(rest of conversation takes place and the hospital is phoned and goes to look for this person.)

2 minutes later.

911...What is your emergency.. (same person)

I'm tired of waiting, i'm number 33, i know I'll be seen faster if i go by ambulance...

--Apparently the RN went out to look for this patient and didn't find them, after the second call they were found and nicely told about 911 doesn't speed anything up if there is nothing wrong.
--Did I mention that we just got 250 evacuees from a northern reserve with bad water...you've probably heard it on the news.

[fpdsniper]

I once served an order of protection on a guy. He was truly baffled, and told me that he didn't do anything to his girlfriend. I then began reading the complaint, and found that she was accusing him of "threatening to touch her sunburn". Yes, a judge issued this order. Man, I felt like an idiot serving him with it. A misuse of the system, if you ask me.

[Corrs]

One of the nights that I was working the front desk, this lady calls up the office. I answer the phone like normal, "BC Sheriff's Office, Deputy ****". She states her name and where she is from and then says, "can I have the women's department please?"

[deebo29577]

lady put a cigarette she found at the end of her driveway in a plastic baggy, when I showed up she handed it to me and wanted it checked for prints and DNA to see who it belonged to. Gotta love CSI!

[TX Heat]

Maybe it was the recent 911 call from the crazy lady who demanded the officer remove the "Squeak" in her ceiling that had been there since she built the house in 1969. :confused:

[Zuko]

I got a call to meet a person at our jail, who wants to file a complaint on the Cop that arrested her boyfriend. When pulled up to the jail, the person who was waiting for me, was sitting in her car in the drivers seat.

I asked her to step out of the car and I turned on my in-car camera.

Her complaint was that she is more drunk than her boyfriend, thats why he was driving and he should not have been arrested.

She continued to advise that she is a Criminal Justice major and she "Knows The Law"

Her also said the Deputies at the traffic stop beat her boyfriend up and stole $500 from him and her.

I had her fill out a complaint form and sign it.

After all that I advised her that I was the deputy that arrested her boyfriend.

She then started crying and said she was sorry and she did not want to file a complaint.

I then arrested her for, D.U.I., driving on a suspended license, possession of cocaine and filing a false police report.

YES IT'S GOOD TO BE THE POLICE :)

[slamdunc]

Since I actually took this job so that I could help people, I try to remember that each of these stupid calls does, indeed, ensure us job security. These are some very funny stories; too crazy to be made up.
I received a report from a man in a rural area, that his neighbor's dog was 'stealing' things from his property. I was working alone that evening and got a priority call. I requested dispatch to refer him to animal control, as a dog does not have the capacity to commit a criminal act.
A lady called one afternoon to request that we remove someone from her house.
I arrived and spoke with her and she told me that her husband had been drinking & arguing and she wanted him to leave. I told her that neither of them had to leave and asked her if there had been any physical violence. She stated that there had not been and asked why. I explained the domestic violence law to her and she promptly went over and slapped him. I placed her under arrest and she protested, telling me that since she was drunk, she had not understood my definition of domestic violence.

[stretch]

Lady calls to say her husband is dead. When we get there, along with rescue, she is sitting in her lazyboy watching tv. She points to the hallway and bedroom where her "dead" husband is. When he enter the bedroom, we notice that he is snooring. After waking him up, he is furious, yelling that his wife is such a fat lazy bitch because she didn't get up and wake him up herself.

[ExOfficio]

We had a local nut who called daily. One of the best ones was that she had bought a new Crock Pot, and was afraid that the neighbors would smell her cooking and steal it.

[JLFINFAN]

Got a 911 call last Saturday...asking if we were doing Trick-or-Treat that night or on Monday? (It was a school night after all....) :rolleyes:

[Kieth M.]

My favorite was the guy who called me on morning at the Hollywood desk, complaining that our Department had not solved his murder. "Sir, when were you murdered, exactly?," I asked. "Several months ago, but I've seen no progress in the case." I told him we'd get back to him, but was too scared to get his callback number...the long-distance charges, you know.

[AnGardaSiochana]

1. About 2 years ago:

Cop: Hello, ****** Garda station can I help you?

Caller: Yes guard, the crows in the field are too noisy and the kids cant sleep.


2.
Caller: I want to make a complaint against a guard.

Me: OK, whats the Guards name or shoulder number?

Caller: Its you.

Me: Me? What did I do?

Caller: None of your business what you did, Im not going to tell a guard am I?

Me: A, I cant take a complaint about myself and B, how can you make a complaint without telling us what happened?

Caller: ****ing guards, all a bunch of corrupt bastards looking out for each-other!

Me: your under arrest for using offensive language in a police station.

[kawika36]

It wasn't my call but I just heard it dispatched over the radio. The call was to help a citizen in distress. The reporting party called to say there was a dog on his front lawn that would not let him out of his house. He described the dog as "a small black puppy that's rolling on its back throwing grass up in the air and making growling noises." You could hear all the dispatchers laughing in the background while the call was dispatched. :D

[RabbitMPD]

We get a lady that calls us to activate the tornado alarms if it gets too windy. It can be a sunny blue sky but she wants the alarms set off immediately. The same lady also calls us every week when we test the alarms to find out where the tornado is.

[kirch]

Two that I recall:

Shortly after I started as a cop, I received a call at the station.
CALLER: There's a suspiscious man on my street.
ME: What's suspiscious about him?
CALLER: Well, he's just walking around.
ME: Is he doing anything in particular?
CALLER: No, just walking.
ME: I'm sorry, sir, but there's nothing suspiscious about someone walking through your neighborhood.
CALLER: Um, he's black. That's suspiscious, isn't it?
ME: Sir, I'm hanging up now.

Another one I got while eating my dinner at the station. I picked up the phone in the kitchen area.
CALLER: I need your help, officer.
ME: What can I help you with?
CALLER: I can't find the game on TV.
ME: What game?
CALLER: The football game.
ME: (picking up remote and turning on the kitchen TV) Try Channel 26, ESPN2.
CALLER: (sounds of the game starting in the background) Thank you, Officer! You're a lifesaver.

[bcopd79]

A woman called to report that there were ducks walking across the parking lot.

Dispatch: "230 being dispatched to the mall for a report of ducks walking across the parking lot. Complainant afraid they will be hit. Starting you another unit for quack-up"

Gotta love dispatch.

[cstelz]

Got a call from a lady camping in a campground on the coast, right next to the water. The smoke from her neighbors campfire was blowing into her campsite.

[krcool32]

I got a call from a old lady because her mailbox lid was open(nothing taken, just open)...Her house looked like it was hit by a atom bomb(Garbage all over the place, etc..)!! And she was worried about her mailbox!?!? I wrote her a ticket for violation of city junk ordinance and told her she had 10 days to clean up all of the S***. I never heard from her again!!!

Ever since then If I got dispatched to any stupid call (like above). I would find a reason to give the caller/victim/dumb*** a ticket for whatever fits! I love it! Because you walk up to them with the ticket, and they have the most dumbfounded look on their face saying "But, But I called YOU"... My response is "Thats where ya went wrong, buddy....sign here" :D

I highly suggest you guys try that tactic...It works!

[BlueKnight116]

This one is fit for the Jerry Springer show.

One night at about 1:00am we get this call to go to a trailer park reference a woman causing a disturbance. She is outside yelling as loud as she can.

I know the address well and the people there are repeat customers.

When we arrive the woman, who bears a striking resemblance to Olive Oil, is still standing out in her front yard yelling. She is yelling as loud as she can, "He won't f--- me!" "He won't f--- me!", over and over again.

We calmed her down and ask what the problem was. As you can guess from what she was yelling she is upset that her boyfriend won't give her any lovin'.

I go inside to talk to the boyfriend and find a guy who last I knew was with this woman's daughter. They actually had a kid together, the boyfriend and the daughter of the woman outside. I hope I'm not confusing you. LOL

The boyfriend had split up with is old girl friend and had moved in with her mom. Anywho he tells me that he won't come to bed with her because he is tired of his son asking him, "Daddy why are you sleeping in grandma's bed?". :eek:

[mac266]

Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry !!!

[Kabal]

we had a woman whose phone was disconnected (Express Dial Tone would only let her call 911). She called 3 nights in a row to ask us to have an Officer go to the bar and tell her husband it was time to come home.

Another frequent we get, in the million dollar home subdivisions; the residents like to call 911 when a junker car drives through their neighborhood. Tell us, it doesn't look like it belongs here, must be criminals or something.

[Rizko]

Had a citizen call to say that a spider was sitting on her front steps and would not allow her and her daughter to enter the house. I pulled up and found them standing about 30 feet away at the curb. I got out and walked up the sidewalk and stepped on the spider, then walked back got into my car and drove away. Didn't say anything to them at all since I'm sure I would have regretted anything I had to say later.

[Lawdawg132]

We got called to a medical where a man that owned tigers had a seizure and left his tiger cage door open. (which is connected to his house, and yes he lives with his siberan tigers) After that, people were calling in stating that they were seeing a siberian tiger running accross the highway and they were not hallucinating. The seven tigers ended up getting sent to Colorado after two different SWAT call outs to the residence.

[slopegrrrl]

got a complaint from an employee at a liberal college in the city....wanted to report a suspicious person. I asked for some details....complainant stated that the evening prior (24 hrs ago) there was a man standing in the alley adjacent to the building she worked in staring at her for an extended period of time...
Me: greetings, introductory pleasantries, etc.... ma'am i understand that you wanted to report a suspicious person from yesterday. What happened?
Citizen: a black male, thin, wearing a tan cap was hanging around and stared at me for a long time
Me: anything else you can remember about how he looked? age? height? facial hair? complexion?
Citizen: no, he was pretty far away....but he was black....and at least as tall as you but probably taller (mind you-i'm 5'5")
Me: oh, ok ma'am-and you say he was standing in the alley?
Citizen: well actually he was next to the alley...in the gas station's parking lot....next to the pay phone
Me: uh-huh. and what was it that made him suspicious again ma'am?
Citizen: well he stood there for awhile and he looked at me as i drove away. he must have been there for at least 60 seconds.
Me: and this was yesterday evening?
Citizen: yes. i didn't want to call then though because i was on my home.
Me: oh ok ma'am. have a good evening.
Citizen: aren't you going to do anything?
Me: absolutely ma'am....i'm going to go broadcast the description Citywide
Citizen: oh ok-great. thank you officer.
Me: anything to help ma'am.

Surprisingly, I never got around to broadcasting the following:
BOLO for a thin black man at least 5' 5" tall last seen standing near a public pay phone. Subject's wanted for questioning for looking up at a white woman as she drove by him.

[snakeman]

We had a call from a lady that the airplanes were making to much noise and she wanted us to quiet them down. She lived 1/4 mile from the airport.

[Garbage Man]

I was dispatched to a room mate dispute where the calling party was complainig about her roommate singing in her room. The worst part was that the cp did not want me to tell her roommate that anyone called, so I was supposed to knock on the door and say "hello I was just driving down the street and heard the most God awfull racket and suddenly realized it was you singing!"

[Garbage Man]

We got called to a medical where a man that owned tigers had a seizure and left his tiger cage door open. (which is connected to his house, and yes he lives with his siberan tigers) After that, people were calling in stating that they were seeing a siberian tiger running accross the highway and they were not hallucinating. The seven tigers ended up getting sent to Colorado after two different SWAT call outs to the residence.

But did the tigers eat their owner?

The funniest thing I ever heard Chris Rock say in one of his routines is how everyone kept saying the tiger that bit Roy went "crazy" Rock says "the tiger went cazy? no he didnt, the tiger went tiger"

[DH2002]

i got one here at fort myer we got called because the chief of staff of the army's cat got loose and they wanted us to find it

[PAPO51]

1.
One of the officers in our department was dispatched to Walmart for a man who was shopping and had put three samll items in his cart and left it for about five minutes. when he came back his items were on a shelf where the cart was and the cart was gone. when our officer told him there was nothing he could do he said he would notify the FBI about it because it was a grave threat to National security?? He was dead serious.

2.
Another officer responded to a car accident where a woman had hit a deer
broke all four of its legs and had damage to it's midsection. Wanted the officer to call the game commisson or a vet to see if they could save the deer which died a short time later.

[Bigg Dogg]

I love it when somone (Usually a female) calls the office to ask road condition betweem Denver and Kansas City on some roadway........................................... ...and I am talking to her in Oklahoma!!!

[hemicop]

Got a call of a "suspicious chicken" once. Seemed the
caller saw a chicken following a man down a city sidewalk & thought it suspicious. The funnier part was the man & chicken were walking towards a "Church's Fried Chicken " store. (maybe they were both going to work :D ).
Another time I was working the front desk & a caller wanted us to bring him a morning newspaper. When I told him that wasn't our job he sa iid: "f**king cops, I never get any help from you!" and hung up :confused: .
One time, another off. & myself arrest a robbery/homicide suspect. We get him to the station,run a records check on him & find out he has aton of parking tickets. As I walk into the room I tell my partner what I found. This Rhoades scholar blurts out: " Parking tickets?! I killed that MF,but you aint pinn'in those tickets on me!" :D :eek: .

[Justice_AA]

- Neighbor dispute: my neighbor's tree is leaning over my property. It could fall!

This person must have moved to my city. I took a call of the neighbor's tree that fell into a ladies yard and it could of killed her. The lady said that we sould call Homeland Security becuase her neighbor threatened her life with a rotten tree. We gave her the number and said it would be best if she called herself! (Sorry any DHS people, I couldn't resist). :)

[PeteBroccolo]

An elderly woman and her son came to the front counter years ago when I was at another Detachment, demanding of our secretary that she send a member over to the Hospital to speak to one of the Doctors there to tell him to tell the woman's daughter to let the woman see the daughter's new baby. Apparently, the daughter would not let her mother see the baby, but she was allowing the guy who fathered the baby (and they weren't married, either, as if you can imagine!), and the baby's father's mother, to see the baby.

Many years, and 2 other previous Detachments, before the above soap opera, a drunk guy called from the bar, wanting us to check out a car that some guy was offering to sell him. The drunk was pretty upset with us that my partner and I arrested the seller and seized the car after we found out that it had been stolen from another Province!

Several years, and again another 2 previous Detachments, before the last schmozzle, a dad shows up at the office, wanting us to drag back his 20-ish daughter from the 20-ish some guy she was willingly spending the weekend with at a very popular National Park. We explained to dad that this is how life goes. A few hours later, we respond to a call of a fight - when we get there, we found the dad pinned to the ground by the boyfriend. Dad, a small guy, hit the boyfriend upside the head with a hammer; boyfriend, a big hockey enforcer type, was whoozy, but able to stay alert, and held WAY BACK from how you would have expected him to react. The girlfriend runs up to my partner, crying, trying to figure out why dad couldn't just chill!

We just got a decent raise, with back-pay to January, will be receiving a smaller raise starting Jan 1, with another raise in 2007, plus a 3% seniority bonus, all of which counts towards pension. Given the above circus acts, in 2 more years, since our pension is based on average-of-best-3, my 64% pension is looking good enough that I might just take a promotion to re-fuelling technician specialist/semi-nutritional supplement retail marketing partner - that is, if my oldest son, currently managing such a outlet, is willing to hire me!

[dep4532]

Got a 911 call because it was the Sunday of daylight savings and this woman couldn't figure out how to set her clock back an hour.

[HPD17]

We are in northwestern Kentucky about 2 hours west of Louisville. Our dispatch gets a call on a night when we got 10.5" rain and heavy flooding all over the city. "Is the basketball game in Louisville cancelled tonight because of the rain?"
It had managed to rain maybe an inch in Louisville at this time.

[TSalas]

I had a call that a crazed cat was foaming at the mouth and looking at people. What was I suppose to do? I never found the darn cat. People call for the stupedist things I swear.

[bk045]

We had a young couple call us with an intersting problem. Seems they were experimenting with handcuffs and lost the key so they called the police to free the trapped partner.

[Cockney Corner.]

We had a young couple call us with an intersting problem. Seems they were experimenting with handcuffs and lost the key so they called the police to free the trapped partner.

Something similar happened while I was at our equivalent of the Police Academy (not to me, I hasten to add). A couple of trainee bobbies were experimenting with the cuffs (and we use rigid cuffs, so I can't imagine that was much fun). The key snapped in the lock. The Fire Brigade were summoned to cut the cuffs off the bed on condition of strict secrecy ... of course the entire College had turned out to watch.