10 rules for dating my daughter

[Chiram]

Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

[DaveinUtah]

LOL Are you my fiance's dad? :D

[personallyjulia]

My husband had all of our daughters sign an agreement when each turned about three years old, stating they would allow him to choose their dates and spouses. To this day, my daughters are convinced that Daddy will help them chose "who" is right for each of them. It is the sweetest thing I have ever seen! :) I will be sure to pass this post on to him immediately! ;)

WAY TO GO DADS!!!!

[Ruh]

lol julia. think you could send me a copy of that contract so I can have my girls sign it. 1 will be 2 on july 11th and the other is due to be here on july15 (yes...2years and 4 days apart).

I only have 1 rule for dating my daughter: don't.

[TXLady]

My dad waited up for me for EVERY single date I ever went on. He always told me that I could always talk to him and mom about anything, that they would never love me any less. I always knew my dad loved and trusted me. THAT meant a lot. No way would I ever do anything that would make him disappointed in me. And THAT kept me out of a lot of trouble.

The funny thing is, of all the guys I dated, the one my dad liked the most turned out to be wanted in another state. We found this out years later. I never had the heart to tell him though.

Bottom line, love your daughters, talk to them, trust and respect them. When it comes down to it, Daddy's opinion is what matters the most. Daddy will always be Daddy. :)

[Delta784]

Rule Eleven: If you make her cry, I make you cry.

[DaveinUtah]

Rule Eleven: If you make her cry, I make you cry.

It was covered in Rule number 6:

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

[Delta784]

It was covered in Rule number 6:

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

It bears repeating. :D

[DaveinUtah]

It bears repeating. :D

I suppose your right there ;)

[personallyjulia]

lol julia. think you could send me a copy of that contract so I can have my girls sign it. 1 will be 2 on july 11th and the other is due to be here on july15 (yes...2years and 4 days apart).

I only have 1 rule for dating my daughter: don't.

I will send the contract out to you ASAP! :p I have a tremendous respect for Mom's who have close births. It can be tremendously taxing on the body, but works out fantastic for the children as they are growing (based on my current parenting experience). Congratulations on the new little one! :)

I remember you saying you were raised in house full of sisters, where did you fall in line?

[personallyjulia]

I thought your comments were dead on. Same rules apply in our home. We also stay active in the lives of our children, thus opening the doors for opportune conversation. It is funny to watch how my husband and I handle different situations brought to us differently. But, at the end of the day WE discuss the ?'s together in order to make sure we are on the same page when it comes to our children. :)

[Styx]

All the guys I dated thought my father and brothers were members of the Mexican Mafia ..with the exception of the Mexican Nationals I dated.

I never really had any problems. My father and brothers are the sweetest men I know......along with my husband. Wouldn't hurt a fly...but the guys I dated didnt need to know that.

[e-man]

WOW, My little goil is only 3 3/4s :D I can not wait till she starts dating, I think I have stress now, Holy crows. I hope she turns out to be , you know, uh a les@#$ :eek: . Only kidding. Not that theres abnything worng with that.
Can I lock her in her room when she turns 13?????

[Lucky Seven]

I have always wanted a daughter but it never happened.

After talking with friends who have daughters it almost seems like I'm lucky I didn't have one. I would have been a nightmare when she started dating. Not to mention the nightmares I would have had. :eek:

[personallyjulia]

WOW, My little goil is only 3 3/4s :D I can not wait till she starts dating, I think I have stress now, Holy crows. I hope she turns out to be , you know, uh a les@#$ :eek: . Only kidding. Not that theres abnything worng with that.
Can I lock her in her room when she turns 13?????


ONLY 13? Why don't you try 34? ;) :p

[usafcop64528]

I don't have any daughters, but I have two sisters. Most of it applies anyway...plus I have another three brothers.... :D :D

[Buttercup]

My dad waited up for me for EVERY single date I ever went on. He always told me that I could always talk to him and mom about anything, that they would never love me any less. I always knew my dad loved and trusted me. THAT meant a lot. No way would I ever do anything that would make him disappointed in me. And THAT kept me out of a lot of trouble.

The funny thing is, of all the guys I dated, the one my dad liked the most turned out to be wanted in another state. We found this out years later. I never had the heart to tell him though.

Bottom line, love your daughters, talk to them, trust and respect them. When it comes down to it, Daddy's opinion is what matters the most. Daddy will always be Daddy. :)

TX Lady, your dad sounds a lot like mine..... :)

[realluke]

It bears repeating. :D
yes it does, i have 2 daughters

[Groundhog]

WOW, My little goil is only 3 3/4s :D I can not wait till she starts dating, I think I have stress now, Holy crows. I hope she turns out to be , you know, uh a les@#$ :eek: . Only kidding. Not that theres abnything worng with that.
Can I lock her in her room when she turns 13?????

I know how you feel bro. My little girl's 4. When she's older, I'll do the same thing with her my dad did with my sister. When she was about 15 or so, he took her out on a "date." He drove around the block, came to the front door, picked her up, opened the dor for her, etc. He wanted to show her how dates were supposed to act. That coupled with the fact that he always treated my mother that way (and stiil does) is the best example you can set. That way, anything less will make her think.

[HCSO511]

thats it boys keep the thumb screws on your daughter good and tight so she'll rebel and go find some "really" great guy.

[Groundhog]

thats it boys keep the thumb screws on your daughter good and tight so she'll rebel and go find some "really" great guy.

How is showing my daughter how she should expect to be treated by a man keeping the "thumb screws" on her? Maybe you can elaborate on that.

[Tattoo'd Angel]

We set up the guidelines a long time ago for dates for the girls in the family. First, every officer in the family will be waiting for the little reprobate when he gets there, in full uniform if possible and with as many of his fellow officer friends as humanly possible. Each and every one of them will wear the "don't even think about )((&*&% me off" look. If junior manages to run the gauntlet without wetting himself, he gets sat down on a dining chair and have the facts of life explained to him by the 30 or so LEOs that feel like pitching in their two cents, including the consequences of failing to abide by the rules that will no doubt be tattoo'd inside of said young idiot's eyelids. If the daughter-person hasn't died of embarassment by this time they will be allowed to leave with her father riding shotgun.. literally. We are also teaching our daughter self defence with some of the bloodiest, most pain-inducing tactics possible, in case on a subsequent outing Junior pulls something that she doesn't care for.

[personallyjulia]

We set up the guidelines a long time ago for dates for the girls in the family. First, every officer in the family will be waiting for the little reprobate when he gets there, in full uniform if possible and with as many of his fellow officer friends as humanly possible. Each and every one of them will wear the "don't even think about )((&*&% me off" look. If junior manages to run the gauntlet without wetting himself, he gets sat down on a dining chair and have the facts of life explained to him by the 30 or so LEOs that feel like pitching in their two cents, including the consequences of failing to abide by the rules that will no doubt be tattoo'd inside of said young idiot's eyelids. If the daughter-person hasn't died of embarassment by this time they will be allowed to leave with her father riding shotgun.. literally. We are also teaching our daughter self defence with some of the bloodiest, most pain-inducing tactics possible, in case on a subsequent outing Junior pulls something that she doesn't care for.



I think this one of the greatest procedures I have heard of yet! TWO THUMBS UP :D :D !!!!!

[Ruh]

I remember you saying you were raised in house full of sisters, where did you fall in line?

Youngest :(.

Oh what it was like being bullied by two older girls.....But once that puberty came around and that testoserone kicked in...took two of them just to keep up an arguement with me :D

[Ruh]

I know how you feel bro. My little girl's 4. When she's older, I'll do the same thing with her my dad did with my sister. When she was about 15 or so, he took her out on a "date." He drove around the block, came to the front door, picked her up, opened the dor for her, etc. He wanted to show her how dates were supposed to act. That coupled with the fact that he always treated my mother that way (and stiil does) is the best example you can set. That way, anything less will make her think.

This sounds like something great to do for a sweet 16 (or whenever you allow her to go on actual dates).

I think ill look into it for my girls.

[Ruh]

We set up the guidelines a long time ago for dates for the girls in the family. First, every officer in the family will be waiting for the little reprobate when he gets there, in full uniform if possible and with as many of his fellow officer friends as humanly possible. Each and every one of them will wear the "don't even think about )((&*&% me off" look. If junior manages to run the gauntlet without wetting himself, he gets sat down on a dining chair and have the facts of life explained to him by the 30 or so LEOs that feel like pitching in their two cents, including the consequences of failing to abide by the rules that will no doubt be tattoo'd inside of said young idiot's eyelids. If the daughter-person hasn't died of embarassment by this time they will be allowed to leave with her father riding shotgun.. literally. We are also teaching our daughter self defence with some of the bloodiest, most pain-inducing tactics possible, in case on a subsequent outing Junior pulls something that she doesn't care for.

This will also be something ill look into lol.

Right along with "no dates to places outside of my jurisdiction" ;)

[TXLady]

There is also an "application for dating my daughter" that is really funny to. It's in the jokes section somewhere.

[AverageJoe]

I have two daughters, ages 5 and 3, and a 2 yo son. Believe me, I've put a lot of thought into the whole dating thing. I figure I cannot control who my kids will encounter in life, who they will take a liking to, who they will date, and who they will choose to marry (assuming they marry of course). What I can have some affect over is who they see themselves as. I can let my kids know they are worth the world to me, and I can encourage them to expect respect from others because they deserve it. With self-respect and an example of a good parental relationship, they have what they need to develop good relationships of their own.

If I've passed the message correctly, knowing that the Mr. Saggy Pants at my door has already passed my daughter's own tests should significantly cut down the amount of worrying I have to do some Friday night ten years from now. But I know I'll still be up watching Leno in the living room until she comes walking throught the door. Same with the boy - by the time I've done my job he should be able to pick out which ladies are worth pursuing and which are "trouble". Hopefully he listens to Pops (or better yet, still fears me) and stays out of trouble.

AvgJoe

[BowzerTee]

I have two daughters, ages 5 and 3, and a 2 yo son. Believe me, I've put a lot of thought into the whole dating thing. I figure I cannot control who my kids will encounter in life, who they will take a liking to, who they will date, and who they will choose to marry (assuming they marry of course). What I can have some affect over is who they see themselves as. I can let my kids know they are worth the world to me, and I can encourage them to expect respect from others because they deserve it. With self-respect and an example of a good parental relationship, they have what they need to develop good relationships of their own.

If I've passed the message correctly, knowing that the Mr. Saggy Pants at my door has already passed my daughter's own tests should significantly cut down the amount of worrying I have to do some Friday night ten years from now. But I know I'll still be up watching Leno in the living room until she comes walking throught the door. Same with the boy - by the time I've done my job he should be able to pick out which ladies are worth pursuing and which are "trouble". Hopefully he listens to Pops (or better yet, still fears me) and stays out of trouble.

AvgJoe
yeah, my dad and i always had an agreement, that hed give any guy a fair chance, but also, if that chance was blown, he wouldnt forbid me from seeing the guy, but hed basically make it as difficult as possible. ive told my brothers if they dont like someone, i wouldnt date them, lol, sometimes i have to prod them to speak up. i trust their judgement.

[letshearit4blue]

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Man, that's a GREAT line...

[umtkny]

My dad waited up for me for EVERY single date I ever went on. He always told me that I could always talk to him and mom about anything, that they would never love me any less. I always knew my dad loved and trusted me. THAT meant a lot. No way would I ever do anything that would make him disappointed in me. And THAT kept me out of a lot of trouble.

The funny thing is, of all the guys I dated, the one my dad liked the most turned out to be wanted in another state. We found this out years later. I never had the heart to tell him though.

Bottom line, love your daughters, talk to them, trust and respect them. When it comes down to it, Daddy's opinion is what matters the most. Daddy will always be Daddy.

Lucky for you to have a dad who cared enough for your well being. Unfortunately, I was never blessed with a father who sheltered me under his wings. :(

[TXLady]

Lucky for you to have a dad who cared enough for your well being. Unfortunately, I was never blessed with a father who sheltered me under his wings. :(

I know how lucky I was to have had a dad like mine. Unfortunately, I didn't get to keep him for too long.

I'm sorry you missed out on that. It would be nice if life were fair. :)

[Interceptor]

My friend used one on his daughters date last week.

"What ever happens to her, happens to you. She comes home with a black eye, you get a black eye. She gets a broken arm, you get a broken arm. She comes home F**ked, you get f**ked."

[umtkny]

I know how lucky I was to have had a dad like mine. Unfortunately, I didn't get to keep him for too long.

I'm sorry you missed out on that. It would be nice if life were fair. :)

Well, sister, in life, you take the sweet with the bitter, don't you? The only thing I ask of my husband is to be the greatest dad in the world to my children. I know my husband will be a great father one day. I see it in his eyes. :)

[TXLady]

Well, sister, in life, you take the sweet with the bitter, don't you? The only thing I ask of my husband is to be the greatest dad in the world to my children. I know my husband will be a great father one day. I see it in his eyes. :)

I have to agree, no way around it. Sounds like you're future children are lucky already. They have two great parents just waiting for them. :)

[umtkny]

I have to agree, no way around it. Sounds like you're future children are lucky already. They have two great parents just waiting for them. :)

Awww, thanks. I hope so. :)

[r_nevermind]

My friend used one on his daughters date last week.

"What ever happens to her, happens to you. She comes home with a black eye, you get a black eye. She gets a broken arm, you get a broken arm. She comes home F**ked, you get f**ked."


Great line! I'll have to use that one when my girls are old enough to date (too soon for my tastes-they're 12,9,and7)

Clueless (movie) had a great one, too. "I've got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anyone would miss you."

[usafcop64528]

Just say as they are leaving....Remember, I don't mind going back to jail....

[squad51]

I luckly have only a son so far...but if we do have a girl I WILL be cleaning ALL my guns when said dater comes to my house. Although I think the best is the scene from BAD BOYS II..........at 1001 I am in the car hunting your *** down!

[Tattoo'd Angel]

Good thing I have at least 15yrs to worry about any of this......but I have a feeling it will "fly by".
You're not kidding, my daughter's 11th b-day is today, and there are times I expect to see her standing about three foot tall in my doorway, wearing a diaper and asking for a glass of water so she can sleep better. (can' seep, wan' wadder.) We've started her self defense training and she does a respectable number on my heavy bag. I sincerely feel for whoever might step in the way of one of her punches. Of course, they'd have to step in the way of it, because her aim's a bit off, but you get the idea. I've got five years yet, but I'm already getting promises from all the cops I know to help scare the fear of the very VERY long arm of the law into whatever prospect she brings home.

[Big Blue Bear]

When my daughter started to date I thought we had a good understanding of what was expected. Then she brought home not one but two "doper types" w/pot leaves drawn on the jean jackets. :confused: What is a father to do....hummmm, Great idea!! The racking sound of a 12ga riot gun is a great attention getter and ice breaker. I then advised these poor misunderstood juveniles how I could be their best friend or become their worse nightmare and make Jason look like a p*ssy. Advised them to stay on my good side and not get my daughter stoned, drunk or expectant. They didn't come back and daughter didn't speak to me for a few days.

[Tattoo'd Angel]

When my daughter started to date I thought we had a good understanding of what was expected. Then she brought home not one but two "doper types" w/pot leaves drawn on the jean jackets. :confused: What is a father to do....hummmm, Great idea!! The racking sound of a 12ga riot gun is a great attention getter and ice breaker. I then advised these poor misunderstood juveniles how I could be their best friend or become their worse nightmare and make Jason look like a p*ssy. Advised them to stay on my good side and not get my daughter stoned, drunk or expectant. They didn't come back and daughter didn't speak to me for a few days.That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. Too bad you're in OH, I'd have you over to help in 5 years or so.. LOL

[CHPMarine]

i dont want a daughter for all the worrying that comes with it. my son is 14 mos old, and i just found out that the next one coming in sept. is a boy.... a huge sigh of relief from me!

i dont want to deal with a teenage girl...

[DaveinUtah]

i dont want a daughter for all the worrying that comes with it. my son is 14 mos old, and i just found out that the next one coming in sept. is a boy.... a huge sigh of relief from me!

i dont want to deal with a teenage girl...

I get to find out Tuesday what we are having :)

[Tattoo'd Angel]

I get to find out Tuesday what we are having :)
Congratulations!!

[fredlgd]

My friend used one on his daughters date last week.
"What ever happens to her, happens to you. She comes home with a black eye, you get a black eye. She gets a broken arm, you get a broken arm. She comes home F**ked, you get f**ked."

I like that one but still think of enforcing the Talion Law of "she comes home with a black eyes, you get two black eyes... :D "

Chiram, I like your rules and I will enforce them at home, if you don't mine ;)
My daughter is only 6 yo but yet she already had at least 5 boyfriends :eek: :eek: . I keep a close eye on her all the time :cool:

BTW, it's an only child and before she arrived on the earth, I expected a boy (father's dream ! :o ). I've no regrets yet. On the contrary, as I was brought up in a boys family, I can say that girls are definitely more warm-hearted and affectionate to their parents. I won't evoke the teenage period, you know, when they hate us ...

[NCHawk56]

Fathers have rules because they remember what they wanted to do when they were that age.

Stay Safe!!!

NCHawk56

[BowzerTee]

I like that one but still think of enforcing the Talion Law of "she comes home with a black eyes, you get two black eyes... :D "

Chiram, I like your rules and I will enforce them at home, if you don't mine ;)
My daughter is only 6 yo but yet she already had at least 5 boyfriends :eek: :eek: . I keep a close eye on her all the time :cool:

BTW, it's an only child and before she arrived on the earth, I expected a boy (father's dream ! :o ). I've no regrets yet. On the contrary, as I was brought up in a boys family, I can say that girls are definitely more warm-hearted and affectionate to their parents. I won't evoke the teenage period, you know, when they hate us ...
well..i dunno about the girls being more affectionate, i know i show just the opposite of that.

[Jellybean400]

i dont want a daughter for all the worrying that comes with it. my son is 14 mos old, and i just found out that the next one coming in sept. is a boy.... a huge sigh of relief from me!

i dont want to deal with a teenage girl...

Theres lots to teach the boys, too! Make sure to teach them all how to treat the OTHER people's daughters that they'll be dating...things will be alot better for teenage girls that way :)

[HCSO511]

i fell for a guy with a daughter. it seems to be getting worse and worse everyday. im sure you all just love wondering who will be on the next girls gone wild video. no matter how good a job you do raising your child you always have to wonder what their friends are telling them to do and how much they are listening to their friends. i dont have kids yet but ive thought it over and i sure hope if i have a daughter i can at least teach her to treat herself with respect and act like a lady and not some slut. it seems kids have gotten more liberal with themselves since i was in school and that wasnt that long ago. kids are doing stiff at 12 that i hadnt even thought of yet. i guess you can just do the best you can and hope for the best. everyone knows they cant make every decision for thier kids and i bet its sure hard to watch them and know they are making a mistake and not saying anything becuase you know they will never listen if its you telling them. at least thats how i always learned. always thought dad was just and old fart who didnt have a clue. now i see a lot of the things he was keeping me from and i am thankful for it. it will sure be a while before i admit it to him though, lol.

[GPOC]

2yo boy here and we will have only 1 more child( unless it's twins....please NO) but damn,I don't want a girl or I'll kill everyone that gets near her :eek:



If I/we do though at least she will have a large( 36lbs now and solid muscle) of a brother to whip some *** if need be :D

[mirrorbox]

No dating on a school night......And not until the sabbath is over
No dating before Uni finals are a positive pass :D

[Joseph]

I use to tell them I don't know you and you don't me so I need your drivers license,registration, and plate number. You'd be suprised when it got around the school I was a lunatic they would show up with papers in hand.They were more rules than that but if they wanted to go out with my daughter's they complied. When they brought them home I always wantede to see them and I smelled there hands. My daughter's said I didn't trust them but I explained I didn't trust the guys. My daughters said I humiliated them but they allhappily married now. Two are RN's and one is a teacher. They have baby girls and there husbands are already storing advice from me. :D

[apddawg]

When they brought them home I always wantede to see them and I smelled there hands.

WTF???? :confused: :eek:

[Buttercup]

When they brought them home I always wantede to see them and I smelled there hands.


I really hope that's a joke..... :confused: :eek:

[Bklngirl]

Average Joe,you are wise!Some of what you guys said are scary.I hope you are kidding.If My Dad woudve done those things I wouldve run away from home!

[Bklngirl]

Why smell their hands?I dont get it?

[Tattoo'd Angel]

Bacically, sniffing to see where those hands have been! :eek: Plus, pot & cigs both make your hands stink, and I'd imagine crack does too.

[TheMP5guy]

Ok, I think I passed all your rules and will abide by them, so can I date your daughter now? Post a picture would ya.

[apddawg]

Ok, I think I passed all your rules and will abide by them, so can I date your daughter now? Post a picture would ya.


Too funny... :D

[Tattoo'd Angel]

Ok, I think I passed all your rules and will abide by them, so can I date your daughter now? Post a picture would ya.
Look here. One more thing you have to pass. (http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y252/tattoodangel/91d4a0b5.jpg)

[TheMP5guy]

Look here. One more thing you have to pass. (http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y252/tattoodangel/91d4a0b5.jpg)

Sure, my taser goes 21 ft at approx 165 fps. :eek:

[Tattoo'd Angel]

bubba, you never learned about ****ing of someone's momma, did you?

[TheMP5guy]

Oh I'm sure I've ****ed off plenty of momma's on this job. They all think their little ones are angels. As for girlfriends, no. I've always been respectfull, and I'm married now so it doesn't much matter anymore re: girlfriends.

P.S. Who the hell is bubba?

[Tattoo'd Angel]

Oh I'm sure I've ****ed off plenty of momma's on this job. They all think their little ones are angels. As for girlfriends, no. I've always been respectfull, and I'm married now so it doesn't much matter anymore re: girlfriends.

P.S. Who the hell is bubba?Well, as that's a pic of me... basically you just said you'd taze me on a social occasion. :p

Bubba is one of those terms around here when you're not sure if someone's dealing with a full deck... :p :D

[TheMP5guy]

If someone held a sword at me, a taser hit would be the least of their worries. The taser wouldn't even be a consideration. Talk to you later bubba.

[Tattoo'd Angel]

If someone held a sword at me, a taser hit would be the least of their worries. The taser wouldn't even be a consideration. Talk to you later bubba.
Sorry if I caused offense, but you were joking around and I thought you'd take it as a joke in turn, not threaten me with violence.

Have a good night.

[TheMP5guy]

I think you misread me too. It's hard to sound sarcastic (talking about me) when I can't be heard. No threats made, I was being purely sarcastic. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Later.

[Chiller]

When they brought them home I always wantede to see them and I smelled there hands.



Holy crap that's funny but oh so wrong :D

[Chiller]

Bacically, sniffing to see where those hands have been! :eek: Plus, pot & cigs both make your hands stink, and I'd imagine crack does too.



you will not smell the drug crack on someones hands...weed and cigs yes...unless you were refering to.....uhhhhhnevermind :eek:

[Zeichnete]

i am just joining this dicussion and man that is some interesting rules for dating your daughter. I also read what someone posted about makeing their daughters sign a fourm saying that he would choose their dates and spouses. That is a bit scary. I dont know what i would do if my girlfriends father had those rules. but fortunity i am a good boy, so her father aint worried about me, thankfully. He actually wants me to be with his daughter. Now that rule regarding pants is perty good, i dont know what is so great about doing that, i mean i always where a belt so all you see is my pants and shirt. But i have to ask, were those seriously your actual rules?

[MizzMaddie]

My 2 cents:

Daughters listen to their mothers more than they may know. Giving wise advise and be there to listen is the key.
Sons are much more endangered to listen to friends instead of you.

I think having teenagers pays back what you invested in them when they were children. I'm talking quality time spent with kids.

My demand is to my kids: I know where you are and with whom you are. My advise is that a life is quicker wasted than recovered. My offer is that whatever happened home is the place where things get fixed.

So good so far. And though I don't think sleeping around is a good thing, I also think that driving kids in an early marriage is a good thing either.

[MAD_MAX333]

you guys are SCARY, plain and simple...

[Zeichnete]

you guys are SCARY, plain and simple...



those rules are scary plain and simple, lol and i am not the only one to think so, the look on my gfs face was pricless when she read the rules. However when you think about it some teenage boys today need those kinda rules, especially the one about not dating others while dateing the daughter, a lot of teenage boys do that, losers or cheaters, same thing

[JdotB]

Rule 12: You don't get her pregnant and you don't hit her. It's real simple....you don't knock her up, you don't knock her down. You do, I'm knocking you the f*** out.

[SQCO]

Rule 13 You make her cry, I make you cry! :cool:

[MAD_MAX333]

lol anger issues here... no i kind of agree. i could NOT imagine how i would possibly deal with a teenage daughter if i ever get one... i'v been to enough allages clubs here and its worse than a stripclub... its SICK... i'm scared.. but i'm only 21 so i have a few years to go...


its getting harder and harder to find guys who share my view of respecting girls and not just be after sex... i kind of lost all my highschool friends since thats all they did and all i wanted to do was to stay with my GF... odd, i wonder if i'm normal.

[MizzMaddie]

I think you are normal. What is normal anyway. It's all in your believes and values. But it's hard to impose yours on another person. However it is and remains a parents responsiblity to protect their children the best they can.,

Define best!

[Jellybean400]

its getting harder and harder to find guys who share my view of respecting girls and not just be after sex... i kind of lost all my highschool friends since thats all they did and all i wanted to do was to stay with my GF... odd, i wonder if i'm normal.

It only matters if YOU feel like its normal. Like MM said, its about YOUR values and beliefs.

Being a man, is being your OWN person, and not following the crowd, who usually end up being losers for many years.

Be sure of yourself, and be proud of who you are. I think you're much better than normal :)

[Chiller]

Rule 12: You don't get her pregnant and you don't hit her. It's real simple....you don't knock her up, you don't knock her down. You do, I'm knocking you the f*** out.



yep...then when you wake up.I'm gonna knock you the f--k out again

[Mr. John Doe]

lol anger issues here... no i kind of agree. i could NOT imagine how i would possibly deal with a teenage daughter if i ever get one... i'v been to enough allages clubs here and its worse than a stripclub... its SICK... i'm scared.. but i'm only 21 so i have a few years to go...


its getting harder and harder to find guys who share my view of respecting girls and not just be after sex... i kind of lost all my highschool friends since thats all they did and all i wanted to do was to stay with my GF... odd, i wonder if i'm normal.


Hey, your just as normal as me. I feel the same way about girls and relationships.

[Kabal]

found an application for the potential suitor to fill out...

http://www.kerman94.com/DaughterApp.HTM

[Javajabbers]

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

http://www.personalboards.com/community/gfx/faces/face_rofl.gif

Did you write that? I am seriously dying here! Must print this off and save it for my 4 year old son who will need some fair warning before he hits puberty!!!

Today we caught him urging my friend's 4 year old granddaughter to feel his muscles. She did and said "Niiiiice..." He smiled smugly and said "I know." :eek:

[mrkoje]

Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


While it is a funny joke, you don't have to plagiarize someone elses material:

8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
by: W. Bruce Cameron


Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romance or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Copyright 1998 W. Bruce Cameron

You can visit the author's hilariously funny web site by clicking here: The Cameron Column

[EMT]

I have 2 sisters one who's 21 (cant help her) and ones whos 15. When ever her "guy friends" come over to take her out on a date i am normally in the process of cleaning my glock right as he walks in the door. When they are late comming home I tend to get alittle anxious and get into full BDU's strap on my duty gear with my thigh rig and position my self in the front yard with a painball gun and a full size mp-5 airsoft gun so when they get home and he trys to do stuff, he wont be able to. Also before he leaves I say what has already been said here, "If you make her cry, I will make you cry"

This also may be why she doesnt like to have guys vist the house... but what do i know... :D :rolleyes:

[72na55]

While it is a funny joke, you don't have to plagiarize someone elses material:

8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
by: W. Bruce Cameron


Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romance or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Copyright 1998 W. Bruce Cameron

You can visit the author's hilariously funny web site by clicking here: The Cameron Column

Don't think I'll be visiting your column. I wouldn't classify this original post as plagiarism....I would take it as a compliment that someone found the original work to be worth repeating. I am sure if they knew who the author was they would have given you whatever credit you think is deserved. As a published writer and author I can understand copyright protection but this is a forum for law enforcement personnel who aren't trying to profit anything from you. What are you wanting.....someone to pay you for appreciating something they identify with? Geez...lighten up dude.

Copyright by 72na55 2005....Kiss My Grits Productions

[mrkoje]

I agree.

However, all I did was type the title of the joke into Google and clicked on the first response. It was easy to find a name to it.

I guess I am overly defensive when it comes to stuff like that because I tend to see it all the time.

No hard feelings, it was funny.


Mike

[morrow]

My wife is a Marine's Daughter. Need I say more! :cool:
Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

[Styx]

you guys are SCARY, plain and simple...

Life is scary

[EMTDaveinAK]

[QUOTE=Chiram]Rules For Dating My Daughter


Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.


Seems to me that volunteering in the maternity ward should also be acceptable.

[NCHawk56]

Just an observation... If you need all these rules it sounds like you have failed to teach your daughters certain skills: decision-making and the like. It sounds more like you have sheltered your daugthers. If I went to date your daughter and you pulled some of that stuff, I'd tell her I'm sorry but your dad is overbearing, we can hangout some other time.

Stay Safe!!!

NCHawk56

[Naelbis]

My sister is 17 and boy crazy so my dad has to deal with this all the time. Last i heard his speil was "I am Sheriff's deputy, my son is a Sheriff's deputy. All my friends are cops and military, all his friends are cops and military. That means that if you p*** us off there is no where in the world we can't find you, so don't make us mad." Usually thats when my mom comes in and tells him to be quiet lol.

[backinblue]

I have no kids........... I hope I don't have a daughter ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Son's are much easier to raise :D

[lt93lover]

LOL-so true!

The first time I got asked out I debated which parent to get permission from (I was 15). I decided on my Dad-BIG mistake-BIG!
I went to my Mom in tears cause my Dad said "no way no how, at least not until you're 16"-which seemed like forever....
They always expected the boys to come to the door and shake hands-if the handshake was wimpy, the kid usually was too.

And I finally went out with the guy who first asked, about 2 years later, but no big deal like I had imagined at 15...

[bubbaskinner]

My parents did a good job of raising me, it was the mistakes I made on my own that helped me be a better man. The way I raise my son will do the job for me when he gets old enough to date. If he has any questions I'll just tell him about all the mistakes that I made and he can avoid them. Problem is, we don't want our kids to make mistakes and poor decisions but sometimes it's making the mistakes and getting through them and moving on that will ensure your children will be better adults. I already know if my son ever does anything to **** off a girls parents I will make him fear the day he ever thought with his other head. And if I have a girl, she will have my complete trust until she possibly does something to screw it up. But, I will agree that I'm sick and tired of seeing these little scrote bags with the f#@#@$! pants down to their knees and every sentence begins or ends with "yo".

[MockingBird]

I have no kids........... I hope I don't have a daughter ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Son's are much easier to raise :D

You can always do what my dad did with me..reference the Great Greek Book of Parenting:
Curfew at 4:00 PM (Curfew at 4:30 PM on weekends), no dating till you're 18, no parties, no birthday parties, no sleepovers, no concerts, no boyfriends, no boy friends period, do not pass go, do not collect $100.00..don't like it, too bad deal with it RWAR your father has spoken, go to you room!

It worked for me. It worked so well, I didn't even have my first drink till I was 22. :eek:

[pepperspray]

My dad had one rule: You can't get anywhere near my daughter.

Boys would call me up and when they'd ask if I was there, he would say "yes" and then hang up on them. Bastard!


I fixed him, though - I used to climb out my bedroom window every Saturday night.


Hehehe.

[Cerberusdog]

My dad had one rule: You can't get anywhere near my daughter.

Boys would call me up and when they'd ask if I was there, he would say "yes" and then hang up on them. Bastard!


I fixed him, though - I used to climb out my bedroom window every Saturday night.


Hehehe.

That explains the daughter... :eek: :eek: :eek:

[pepperspray]

That explains the daughter... :eek: :eek: :eek:

LOL.

I guess so. :D

[Cerberusdog]

LOL.

I guess so. :D

You might like this one.....

An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks
him how he's feeling. "I've never been better!" he replies. "I've
got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season.But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he's walking in the woods near a
creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him!
He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle.

*BAM*

The beaver drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else
must have hit that beaver."

"Exactly."

[pepperspray]

ROFL!!!

Priceless. I'm going to share that one around. :D

[Spee-Dee]

My dad had one rule: You can't get anywhere near my daughter.

Boys would call me up and when they'd ask if I was there, he would say "yes" and then hang up on them. Bastard!


I fixed him, though - I used to climb out my bedroom window every Saturday night.


Hehehe.
One of my former younger male managers called my house once to confirm that I was coming to work because there was a schedule mix up. My dad flipped out at him because he was a guy calling and looking for me.

I'm 20 and I have yet to go on a date.

[pepperspray]

One of my former younger male managers called my house once to confirm that I was coming to work because there was a schedule mix up. My dad flipped out at him because he was a guy calling and looking for me.

I'm 20 and I have yet to go on a date.


You're kidding me?! :eek:


Jeez, you should've been jumping out your bedroom window for at least 5 years already! :D

[RMajury]

Haha,

I've got to say that's a pretty interesting read. Not just the original post, but everyone's comments. Seems a lot of us had great encounters at one time or another .. :p

[Spee-Dee]

You're kidding me?! :eek:


Jeez, you should've been jumping out your bedroom window for at least 5 years already! :D

Jumping out for who? The only guys I attract are creepy old ones and perverts. I have yet to find Mr. Right. :( Maybe the next car I buy will attract hot guys. So far my cars attract police and stupid people.

[Chiller]

I'm 20 and I have yet to go on a date.


This has to be a joke right?????

[Chiller]

Spee-dee


You have to post a pic for research purposes...20yo and no dates?

[pepperspray]

Jumping out for who? The only guys I attract are creepy old ones and perverts. I have yet to find Mr. Right. :( Maybe the next car I buy will attract hot guys. So far my cars attract police and stupid people.

Time to get involved with groups of people and move out of home, girlfriend.

I noticed your signature references poetry and Margaret Atwood. (I nodded sagely when I read it too - very true). So why not try to find some fun young literary groups to join? Check out the local info outlets for performance stuff in town. Go to them. Enjoy yourself; smile and relax. Take a pen and some paper, too. Might be a good prop. ;) A useful one, too, because if you get inspired by your surroundings, you can begin to take notes. Observe the room and it's inhabitants. Even observe yourself there. Write. Do that a few times in the same places, if they begin to feel more comfortable for you, and you will eventually meet the regulars. One or two of them maybe even become good friends. Or good lovers. ;)

Or if you like sports, find a sport and join that sport's club. Get in there. Go! :D

Whatever your bent is, you will find if you seek. True story. It doesn't come to you sitting at home under what sounds like repressive parental security. You need to think about leaving home. You need to think about how you will create your life and your own identity. You need to find your own strength. Do it.

:)

[Spee-Dee]

This has to be a joke right?????

No joke. 100% true.

You have to post a pic for research purposes...20yo and no dates?

I'm not ugly, but I'm not exactly hot either.

[Spee-Dee]

Whatever your bent is, you will find if you seek. True story. It doesn't come to you sitting at home under what sounds like repressive parental security. You need to think about leaving home. You need to think about how you will create your life and your own identity. You need to find your own strength. Do it.

:)



I'm about two years from moving out. I can't really afford to move out right now. I just dropped out of university so that I can work full-time and save up some money to upgrade my car which is currently falling apart, pay-off my debt, and save money to go to school in Lethbridge. Hopefully I'll meet someone there. So far it seems like the place to find someone.

[pepperspray]

I'm about two years from moving out. I can't really afford to move out right now. I just dropped out of university so that I can work full-time and save up some money to upgrade my car which is currently falling apart, pay-off my debt, and save money to go to school in Lethbridge. Hopefully I'll meet someone there. So far it seems like the place to find someone.

Well, best of luck. :)


And, if you're going to be living at home for the next 2 years, then you need to have a very strong word with your father. You're not 14 anymore, fercrissakes. You should be allowed to go out and about with friends, male or female, as and when you darned well please.

[Bklngirl]

You guys are scary!I had total freedom ,and I was a virgin till I was 25 years old.My friends with the strictest parents were sleeping around since they were 14.Keeping too tight a rein on girls is a good way to make whores out of them.

[pepperspray]

Whores? :rolleyes:

Whatever.

[Chiller]

No joke. 100% true.



I'm not ugly, but I'm not exactly hot either.




holy moly..that is way too sheltered in my opinion. get out and enjoy yourself..your missing some prime years of funtimes

[Spee-Dee]

holy moly..that is way too sheltered in my opinion. get out and enjoy yourself..your missing some prime years of funtimes

I don't think I'm completely barred from dating now. It's just that I lack someone worth dating. I've got my eye on someone right now that I keep running into a lot.

My dad ain't gonna be relaxing any easier any time soon after all the crazy guys who seem to be attracted to me. The creepy 35 year old married with children guy from Wal-Mart who hits on every girl at work who's 18+ and has now been flagged by Campus Security because they've received many complaints from other Wal-Mart employees having problems with him at school is not helping my dad to relax.

[pepperspray]

Well your dad is just going to have to let up a bit and trust his grown daughter's judgement. He even has to allow you the room to make mistakes.

And don't worry so much about dating - just get some friends to hang out with. Everything else follows from there.

[MockingBird]

Miss Speedee..you got yourself a whole lotta time. Never settle for the first guy you come across anyway. It's good to be picky..your dad is doing a great job helping you to make good decisions. Nothing wrong with a little parenting. Besides, you should be focusing on more important things right now, like yourself. Theres always time for guys later.
But if you really wanna meet somebody, make sure you have yourself a car, and never go to an all girls college -- you'll never meet anybody that way..unless of course you swing that way. :rolleyes: <-- I've learned from experience. I got lucky when I found my guy.

[pepperspray]

...your dad is doing a great job helping you to make good decisions. Nothing wrong with a little parenting.

She's 20 years old and her father is being an *** to any male that calls her on the phone. That's not helping her make good decisions. How can it be?

[pepperspray]

That said, though, I have a daughter. And she won't be datin' anyone till she's at least 34!

:D

[Spee-Dee]

She's 20 years old and her father is being an *** to any male that calls her on the phone. That's not helping her make good decisions. How can it be?


That hasn't happened since I was 17.

The school I'm going to in a couple of year is co-ed. I think rez might even be co-ed too as you share a four bedroom house, not a room.

[MockingBird]

That said, though, I have a daughter. And she won't be datin' anyone till she's at least 34!

:D

:D :D :D Well, there you go!

I think dad is doing a bang-up job with her. Sure, she could've met a guy at 16, he could've banged her, knocked her up and left her in a snap..I'll tell you now, she wouldn't be as fortunate as she is today...soo, I think her dad is doing a good job. I don't necessarily agree with his hanging up on the guys that do call. But, she can always fix that by getting her own cell phone. Then he won't have anything to say about who calls who.

[MockingBird]

That hasn't happened since I was 17.

The school I'm going to in a couple of year is co-ed. I think rez might even be co-ed too as you share a four bedroom house, not a room.

Awesome then..you shouldn't have any trouble meeting a ton of great and possible love interests..even life time friends. Don't worry..like I said, you're still young..and college really changes a person. You'll make and meet a lot of great friends there. You'll see how fast things change.

[Spee-Dee]

:D :D :D Well, there you go!

I think dad is doing a bang-up job with her. Sure, she could've met a guy at 16, he could've banged her, knocked her up and left her in a snap..I'll tell you now, she wouldn't be as fortunate as she is today...soo, I think her dad is doing a good job. I don't necessarily agree with his hanging up on the guys that do call. But, she can always fix that by getting her own cell phone. Then he won't have anything to say about who calls who.

He doesn't hang up on them! He just plays 20 questions with them. I have my own cell phone and I use it for that purpose, but I don't really have a huge issue with guys calling me. My group of friends are most likely going to repell any hopefuls away from me. All they talk about are Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, mutations in DNA, and other embarassing subjects. All of these subjects are things that I have no interest in. I feel like I should be wearing a disclaimer on my back stating that "the views, opinions and interests that are being expressed are not those of the wearer of this disclaimer."

[Spee-Dee]

Awesome then..you shouldn't have any trouble meeting a ton of great and possible love interests..even life time friends. Don't worry..like I said, you're still young..and college really changes a person. You'll make and meet a lot of great friends there. You'll see how fast things change.

I already know two people (well, I guess it would be four now :D ) who have met their spouses at this school.

[MockingBird]

Aw..I'm so sentimental..but that's really cute..! Good luck!

[kjadams2]

I'm screwed!

I wish I new how to post a pic on here so I could show you just how screwed I am. She's only 7 months, but I can already see that I'm in for some trouble.

Luckily she has an older brother who thinks he's BATMAN! (3 yrs old) :D

[MockingBird]

Posting a pic is wicked easy..just go to User CP, and there will be an option that says "Upload new user photo" ..or something to that effect.

Haha..Batman..little hero in the making.

[Caspertoo]

Just out of curiosity.

The dads and moms out there, how did you handle the issue of when your daughter could "choose" to have sex? It's certainly not something I want her doing without telling my wife or myself, I hope my daughters will trust us enough to confide in us like that.

Opinions?

I have two very young daughters.

[Xul]

Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

How old is your daughter? 11?

[Bklngirl]

Scary! I know you love your Daughter guys,but She's not your possesion,you don't own her sexuality.If she decides to be sexually active you are not going to be able to stop her no matter how much you intimidate her perspective boyfriends.This attitude will do nothing but drive her to sex sooner as a form of rebellion.As far as the boy's mode of dress ,young people dress funny,it's a way of feeling their oats.When I dressed in my "hippie" garb when I was a teen,Mom would just calmly chuckle and say "when you got dressed today,did you look in a mirror?She was smart enough to understand this notion.Also,she came form a very stifling environment.She married early and badly to get out of her house(not to my Dad,she married Dad much later),and supported my sister in a 6 floor walk-up by singing in the nightclubs of Harlem.She wanted me happy at home,and not feel the need to get out early into a bad situation.She did too good a job.I lived at home till I was married,and I was married when I was 29.I was too happy there.Mom and Dad had trouble getting rid of me(lol).As far as letting a guy wait an hour for you.This is extemly rude.I wear make up,and try to look my best ,but I was raised to always be on time.I'm never late,not socially or professionally.

[Bklngirl]

How come no one comes up with 10 rules for dating my son?

[Bklngirl]

Guy's ,those of you that wish they never have a daughter,or are relieved that you don't,you don't know what you're missing.My Dad was my buddy till the end!I was his favorite child ,and I have a brother.

[Caspertoo]

I know that my daughters sexuality will be her choice, but I also hope they come to my wife and myself for questions, guidance, counseling etc etc. I certainly wouldn't impose a literal definition of those rules but as a cop I am definitely going to be "getting to know" potential suitors. Prior to working full time I worked with pregnant women, a lot of which were under 18. I just want to raise my daughters in a way that gives them the most options possible, but also protect them the best that I can.