Do you consider cybersex cheating?

[Blonde Heat]

I'll wait to answer this one thank you very much. :D

[klar]

If your single and are not in any commitment then no it is not cheating. But if your in a relationship and you need to turn to another source to get your rocks off then I say you are not as much into the relationship as you should be. I guess that is what makes some women upset when thier hubbies or boyfriends go out to the clubs to see what actions they can get. I AM happy in the relationship I am in now and I have no need to go to a place in rela life or on the internet to see or get sex. All I would want is a nice conversation with a real person and not some idiot (male or female) pretending to be someone or something they are not. This might be a reason I have not been on a chat for a long time. I was on briefly the other day I might get back on someday.

Klar

[Mitzi]

I used to be on IRC a long time ago and finally found a program that would stop men from messaging me. I talk only in a channel, never privately.
If you are married our in a relationship, then I would say, yes, cybersex is cheating.
I have been on forums and talked to people whose marriages ended because of addiction to cybersex and meeting those they have cybersex to have real sex. It's pretty appalling. The Net really put cheating on a new level in my eyes.
I'm really glad I walked on to the Net with my eyes open. I have never met anyone on the net except for a group meeting one time in West Palm Beach. I took my husband with me, I did not have fun and I won't go on another one.

[goodgirl]

Not really

[SGT Dave]

Topic: Do you consider cybersex cheating?

I dunno...what'd you have in mind? :D

[Blonde Heat]

It was just a question on the cards i bought. But since you asked. :D

No really, I can't see how it would be considered cheating if the P word is not involved.

[Mitzi]

I've talked to several peopl who have had problems because of their cybersex. I was point blank in my questions and they said it's more of an emotional affair, something they got caught up in and couldn't stop. One lost his marriage over it.

[Mike Tx]

Yes it is cheating, just like doing a drive by over the phone is murder.

Sex is when two people come into intimate physical contact, not when they talk dirty on the phone.

817-666-6977

[ 02-12-2002: Message edited by: MikeTx ]

[Mitzi]

I just looked some stuff up on it, Mike. Everyone has a different view. But, the one that made most sense to me explained that it's a more powerful emotional connection then some people think. Many people consider it an "emotional affair" and many consider that just as bad as a physical affair. What I'm saying is that cybersex is not "harmless". Many people get addicted to it. Sometimes, it goes into reality. That makes it dangerous.

[Mike Tx]

Mitzi, just because some people get attached to wanking off on the phone, to me does not make it real. I would be more inclined to think those people need help, and possibly the media, or some doctors group would be trying to give this more credibility then it deserves, in the hope of making it a new 'problem disorder' that they can then treat as an illness.

But hey, what do I know? Call and we'll talk! :D

[BrickCop]

I'm with Mike on this one. Cheating? What a laugh!

How many people come home and catch their spouse in bed with the PC monitor?

The 'addiction' is just a symptom that something's wrong in the relationship. Maybe the spouse is bored of the same routine. Maybe the wife won't swing from the chandolier anymore or she turned into a Museum (look but don't touch). :D

I think cybersex is kind of silly and kind of pointless. Then again my wife is not uptight...although she still declines my requests to bring Heidi Klum home for a threesome, oh well she can't be perfect. :D ;)

[Niteshift]

Is TALKING about a fantasy with a person you've NEVER MET, and wouldn't recognize if they walked up to you and kicked you in the shin, cheating? Hmmmmmm........

[Mike Tx]

Oh I wish someone female would call me and be naughty! I am all tingly all over! :eek:

[king310]

thing's that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm.... :eek:
Let's see! Bill said oral sex was not cheating,and cigars are only as good as the humidor that they are kept in.......
I'm so confused......yes...no...........maybe.........ohh hhh the heck with it!

Only you and your god can be the judge of your morals. All that any of the rest of us can do is critise. :rolleyes:

[The Littlest Hobo]

Doing anything "romantic" or "sexual" with another person without your partner knowing, is cheating.

[shooter1201]

I remember hearing about a woman in the NE that was granted a divorce(for adultry, no less) due to her hubby's cybersex escapades.

[Pigskin]

Okay, my two cents worth: Yes, it would be cheating if you were using sexual terms describing having sex without your spouse (or significant other) knowing. But flirting using innuendos and NO sexual terms would not be cheating.

[comcen]

Me thinks some people spend too much time on the computer.

[Blonde Heat]

Sex is when two people come into intimate physical contact, not when they talk dirty on the phone. 817-666-6977

This is not your phone number, Liar liar pants on fire. :D :D :D

[Piper]

Originally posted by MikeTx:
<STRONG>Yes it is cheating, just like doing a drive by over the phone is murder.

Sex is when two people come into intimate physical contact, not when they talk dirty on the phone.

817-666-6977

[ 02-12-2002: Message edited by: MikeTx ]</STRONG>

Gee Mike, here I was all ready to *talk* to you and it said the call can't be completed as dialed....*le sigh* :D

Seriously though, I suppose what one wants to do to get their yayas off on the net is really a matter of what they are comfortable with their morals. I don't see anything wrong with playing around on the net and flirting. It's all in good fun. It's when it gets all serious ya have a problem.

That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it! :D

Cheers and Flirts,
Piper

[sandie]

Is Cybersex cheating? If you are in a relationship, if it upsets either party in it then yes it is. If the feeling is mutual between the couple then its between them and only the couple can determine if its cheating. However, if EITHER party is hurt then then it IS something to consider seriously. My first marriage broke up due to "cybersex" and the internet, seems as tho my husband at the time preferred to "get his rocks off" by words rather then the real thing. I personally feel it is cheating, I feel ANYTHING personal and intimate, whether its phsycally, emotionally, "chatting" or even watching IS indeed cheating. Flirting is one thing, but telling someone what you would like to do to them is another. If you are in a relationship the only person you should even WANT to do anything with is your partner. YES that includes cams sites. If you go to cam sites and sit and "watch" someone for a long period of time without your partner knowing about it - you are tempting the fates of your relationship. Point blank - if ANYONE in a relationship is hurt in ANYWAY by cybersex, CAM SITES, or hell even the net - get rid of it and see what you are losing!! There comes a time in a relationship that you HAVE to think of your loved one. Are words on a screen, or a video on a screen or "cams" worth losing someone you love??

[shadows]

I'd have to say it's cheating in my book.

[wonderwoman]

I think it depends on how we are defining cybersex.

On the one hand are those I understand set up the web cams and have an on-going relationship "doing it" to themselves while visually talking/watching with the same person. I find it hard to believe that those that think this isn't "cheating" in some form would consider it the same if their mate was doing it with someone else. Sorry, I don't buy that.

On the other hand, is what some refer to as cybersex which is more commonly known as the IM/phone sex. Perhaps talking "trampy" to someone you will never see or meet is less fitting the definition of "cheating"? Depends on how you are defining cheating, as having to touch sexually?

The danger is always there in either method where one will read more into the cybersex while the other just views it as "play time". I have heard some pretty scary things like copies of the conversations being sent to the spouse of the other, used as blackmail or printed in an open forum.

[ 02-12-2002: Message edited by: wonderwoman ]

[sandie]

Heres a novel concept: If cybersex, no matter what form it is, is not a mutal activity for a couple theres something obviously lacking in the relationship in the first place, so, instead of logging online - GO SEEK THERAPY TOGETHER - fix the problem instead of adding to it.

wonderwoman, yes I have heard that too. I know someone that logs everything on his computer, which turned around to bite him in the rear end. When his wife(well now ex wife) found out he was cheating, she searhced his computer for logs and emails, basically anything she could get ahold of that was part of a sexual conversation that he had on the computer and used that for grounds of divorce. She wound up taking him for just about everything he had. He now regrets getting involved with women over the net, he wants his family back but she wont have it. This goes back to the question I said in my last post, was all that "talk" worth losing your family over??

[Don]

Interesting question.

Is cybersex cheating? For that matter is masterbation cheating? How about flirting?

Now without getting into any moral aspect of any of the above, here is my never so humble opinion: If whatever you are doing is hurting your marriage, then perhaps it should be called cheating.

Therefore, if someone is NOT married (or in a relationship) no way can it be cheating. If a person IS married, but it does not hurt the relationship, then is it cheating? Probably not.

I think in this case it is more a matter of the results of the act other than the act itself. Of course I'm NOT talking about having an intimate sexual relationship here.

?????????????????????????????????????? :confused:

[kd5hqd]

My God, all this talk of sex, and cheating, and dirty words.

FOR GODS SAKE, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!! :D


Tex
KD5HQD

[MPD3P59]

If cyber is cheating then you'll have to include:
Penthouse forum reading
Fabio-covered romance novels
Telling dirty jokes
Reading biology books in "that" chapter.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[sandie]

I guess I have really strong feelings about this subject. See, If you love someone you would not want to hurt them in anyway shape or form. If doing ANY of those activities hurts your partner, then simple, dont do it.
Think of your loved ones feelings, or face the consequences. I just dont understand people who would not think of their partners feelings while they are going ahead with cybersex, cam sites, anything that involves any type of intimacy...yes including porn stuff.

[Fastie]

I have to agree if it hurts your partner then it's either "cheating" or at least a problem. I'm single and I've chatted with a lot of men on the net, most single. I generally have very little patience when it comes to married men on the net. On the rare occassion I actually "speak" to them at all, I think I kinda spoil their "fun" by asking all sorts of questions about their wives !!! and of course when the subject of sex comes up, I ask what the problem is and why they aren't with their wives at the moment etc. I've never spoken to a married man on the net who claims to be happily married with a great sex life (this doesn't include men posting on bulletin boards!!). The last thing I want to do is be part of a couple's problems. If a married man is trying to talk to me I know he has a problem and my favorite thing to tell them is, it takes two people to make things good and you can't blame your problems on your partner alone, you have to take some of the responsibility yourself. If your "wife doesn't like sex", well maybe YOU aren't doing it right !!! and if she doesn't like it with you, I sure as heck probably wouldn't either !!! :D

[klar]

LOL that is a good post fast 1 I think a lot of people should be happy with the one they are with. I know I have talked to some women on the internet and I will probally again but I am not going there to find or have sex I am going there to have a nice talk. I might be single right now but soon I am going to be married again to a wonderful person who I am very glad to be with. She brings me much joy. I just hope that I am just as good to her.

Klar

[Fastie]

Originally posted by klar:
<STRONG> I might be single right now but soon I am going to be married again to a wonderful person who I am very glad to be with. She brings me much joy. I just hope that I am just as good to her.

Klar</STRONG>

Congrats !!! That's awesome, let us know when the big day is !! (I thought you guys were already married). :D

[klar]

LOL not quite yet the big day is June 1st of this year. I guess I am doing it backwards because we have a date set but I have not asked her yet LOL. I better get around to doing that. LOL

Klar

[Kalirg]

It may not be cheating in the traditional sense, but it certainly indicates a problem in the relationship. Maybe we should come up with a new word for these cyber relationships...I found out my hubby had a dot com mistress a while back. He learned that I really know my way around a computer, and I learned that we needed counseling. That is underway, and things are improving with us. If it HAD been a real-life thing, I doubt I would have been so open to giving things another shot.

[Steve in PA]

Whats cybersex???????? ;)

[Mitzi]

What's sex? (Can't wait to see the answers to this one! lol)

[shooter1201]

Never mind...... :rolleyes:

[207]

Originally posted by klar:
<STRONG>LOL not quite yet the big day is June 1st of this year. I guess I am doing it backwards because we have a date set but I have not asked her yet LOL. I better get around to doing that. LOL

Klar</STRONG>

I have a feeling you just did! :D

[Mitzi]

My husband was so romantic when he asked me to marry him. He parked the car, got me out, pulled out a ring box and said, "Honey, will you marry me?".....by the dumpster of a grocery store! LOL!

[shooter1201]

I hung my wife's engagement ring on her family's Christmas tree. She found it while hanging ornaments.

[Mitzi]

My husband means well and he tries but.....lol. When I had our son, I had had a pretty hard time of it and ended up, after 36 hours, having a caesearean. When he came in the next morning and I was laying there, holding the baby, he had a vase of roses. No greenery, ferns, nothing, just roses. Then he proceeded to tell me how cheap roses are when you don't have them put the green junk in! After all I had just been through!!!!!LOL! I wasn't mad. We were both too taken by our son to be mad. I remember saying, "Uh, to you think I could hold him one hour out of 24?" lol

[Blonde Heat]

What a butt head! No greenery in the roses!

Well speaking of how you were asked to marry the one you love. I was not asked. I came home one day and my mom in law said you both are of legal age and you both have these 2 beautiful kids together, YOUR GETTING MARRIED! And it escalated from there. 8 months later i was married. The only say i had was the color of the dresses.

[jellybean40]

How did we go from cybersex to proposing marriage?! god...spoil ALL my fun :rolleyes:

I think sometimes cyber IS cheating, and sometimes it's not. if you say any activity that doesnt involve both partners is cheating, are you talking about...like, bowling??

is reading porn cheating? going to strip clubs? no, it's not. the other partner might not like it, but how many people have partners that are happy with every single thing they do in life. it depends on how upset the person is over it; you need to respect your partner's feelings.

i think if you're having a mutual "O" with someone on-line, that's cheating, to me. (everyone on-line isnt pretending to be someone else, either, by the way.) i think if you're flirting on-line, its just like flirting with someone at work, or in a store...no more, no less.

Yes i think cybering sometimes indicates a problem in the marriage, but it can also indicate someone who is just looking for a thrill or some fun. not saying it's right, but that's the truth. i think many think it's less cheating than if you have an acutal, flesh-to-flesh affair, which i also know some DO turn into. i know marriages that have ended after a cyber-relationship went to phone, and then meeting face-to-face. i do believe those people were unhappy in their marriage from the start. JMHO.

[Mitzi]

I had NO say in my wedding. My Mother ruined it with her need for control. She took me to get a wedding gown and said I had 15 minutes to pick out a gown or I could walk down the aisle naked for all she cared.
But, my husband finally put her in her place. We became aware that the priest forgot to sign our marriage certificate and Mother started with, "She's not yours yet then, she's still mine. She only has to listen to you when the ink is dry on that liscense." My husband had had it by then. He took her aside, don't know what he said, she was crying. We got our liscense signed and she STILL never crosses him. :)

[Joseph]

Yep. if you married or in a committed relationship.

[Jim Burnes]

Just to complicate things: What is it if some married yahoo is involved in cybersex and then becomes involved with a second cybersex hussy, while still on line with the first cybersex lady?

Is that a cyberorgey or just confusion :eek:

Jim Burnes

[sandie]

Jim: Then that married yahoo needs to disconnect the internet and find a new hobby and while they are at it....some therapy because they obviously have some issues.

[sandie]

oh yes...BTW klar...lol Im still waiting and its valentines day! lol I know you you'll wait until May 30th to ask me ....roflmao

and stop looking at those cheap $9 rings at wal mart located by the check out counters lolol

Your too cute babe I swear hehe Love picking on you its fun!!

[wonderwoman]

Originally posted by Jim Burnes:
Just to complicate things: What is it if some married yahoo is involved in cybersex and then becomes involved with a second cybersex hussy, while still on line with the first cybersex lady? Is that a cyberorgey or just confusion :eek: Jim Burnes

I think thats a guy that can type really good! :D

[klar]

Well dang it now I have to find another store that sales cheap rings that I can pass as an engagement ring. ANyone know where I can get a cheap ring?

Klar

[Niteshift]

"Two single people can do whatever they want to do on or off the phone. It is their business."

From cybersex, to marriage and now phonesex.......... I need a freakin scorecard in this thread. :p

[EAGLE6]

ok about that question... Is cybersex cheating?.....

I look at like this..... when in a relationship sex is not hte only issue... a commitment of heart is what is at stake... when one commits himself to another it should be alot deeper than just two sweating, rithing, bodies rubbing and moaning... there should be a deep emotional bond of the heart...so if one starts to to share that part of the mind and heart with a third party then I say it IS cheating...

that's my opinion.... and if one is not in a relationship why cheapen the true meaning of love with the internet... last i checked there was no warmth or candles or a good back massage to be had after one tosses off to the screen... either way i feel it is more damaging than most people assume... just my 2 cents... o.k. bring on the flames....lol :D

[klar]

Hands nightshift a scorecard. Geesh I make one little comment about the fact that I should get around to proposing and it skewters the whole thread. I guess I am a guilty party now. LOL. How it went from marriage to phone sex I have no idea but I am willing to bet that someone will try to tie all three together somehow LOL.

Klar

[Niteshift]

"last i checked there was no warmth or candles or a good back massage to be had after..."

Not much of that in the backseat of a Buick.....maybe I quit while I'm ahead :eek:

Remember, it's not about candles and massages to everyone.......to some it's about multiple partners, an audience, Crisco or a trapeeze.......

[SGT Dave]

or, GI Joe with Kung Fu grip :eek:

Anyway, it's a moot point for me. I can't imagine getting anything from text anyway. I really can't. Even in real time chat, it just wouldn't happen for me.

I agree, looking at it as an academic question, that it goes alot farther (like wonderwoman pointed out) that if you have the web cams it can go a lot farther.

I think the bigger issue (and bigger problem) is when it becomes more than "cyber"-when it leads to actual cheating, per se. How many do you know that had the "perfect" relationship and then one of them "met somebody on the internet" and POOOOOF! It's gone.

Point-If they're engaging in "cyber" then they must have a need, and that need is real world, so they will more than likely try to parlais the cyber into hooking up physically.

Actually, I'd think they were MORE weird to be totally content with cyber, as opposed to real. Just my two cents.

[Blonde Heat]

Ok, I know i brought the topic up but i have a few questions of my own.

1. How in the heck can you have cyber sex?

First off does sex not include the act of two mutual partners and a bed. So i am lost on the cybersex idea.

2. so if one starts to to share that part of the mind and heart with a third party then I say it IS cheating...

If this is considered cheating then alot of people are cheating because some of us share a part of our lives with just friends. If you tell your buds how you feel and share the intimate part of your lives with your girl friends over coffee then is it still considered cheating.

I would think that in order to cheat the sex act would have to be completed and with the internet, unless you make plans to hook up and follow thru then its moot.

[Stone]

Just a note on Cybercex... An Uncle-In-Law lost his wife (they had two kids at the time) to this.

BUT HERES THE GOOD PART

The no-good-disfunctional-drug-addict-POS that left him for a cybermeeting did it on a TV show (Jenny Jones or something like that) and when the guy came out to meet her, took one look at the haggared(sp?) wench and walked off the stage and was gone without saying a word... :eek: :eek: :eek: :D

Now the Uncle has a honey of a wife and is doing great. The wench is in and out of rehabs and hopefully will fall in front of a car soon. (Hope she doesn't do TOO much damage to the car)

[king310]

After reading everyones answers to the question on cyber-sex I have come to the conclusion that we all have just been to a ORGY but we were to drunk to remember what happened. :D
Was it good for you :eek: I just hate that when you can't remember things that happen the night before. AAAAhhhhhh the joys of getting older! :p

[Jim Burnes]

There are some really demented people out in cyberland, who believe that cybersex is harmless. But if it were, why would the people who engage in it, hide their activities?

People who often relate to the world by referring to films (as though the actors or the scenes were reality) would find slipping into this cyberworld an easy route to escape.

They would be among the tin foil hat crowd. :D


Jim Burnes

[jellybean40]

Originally posted by SGT Dave:
<STRONG>
Anyway, it's a moot point for me. I can't imagine getting anything from text anyway. I really can't. Even in real time chat, it just wouldn't happen for me.

</STRONG>

....I decided to stop typing...i dont want to incriminate myself. :D

I think i said the way i feel about this topic...somewhere on the thread..

i doubt if someone could be happy with ONLY cyber, i dont think everyone uses it to escape..and how bout if its fun, and you're not hurting anyone? like Nite said ...sharing a fantasy.

someone's reading all those dirty novels and stories they sell...you dont think you'd enjoy someone telling you one "live"?

[Don]

Originally posted by king310:
<STRONG>After reading everyones answers to the question on cyber-sex I have come to the conclusion that we all have just been to a ORGY but we were to drunk to remember what happened. :D
Was it good for you :eek: I just hate that when you can't remember things that happen the night before. AAAAhhhhhh the joys of getting older! :p</STRONG>

Yes, I think it's time for a cigarette now! :D

[jellybean40]

Originally posted by ftrphxcop:
<STRONG>Ok, I know i brought the topic up but i have a few questions of my own.

1. How in the heck can you have cyber sex?

First off does sex not include the act of two mutual partners and a bed. So i am lost on the cybersex idea.
</STRONG>

But that's what you cant really define. and here i thought i was having sex alone all this time. i wonder what the hell i'm really doing?? :eek: and what could be safer sex than being alone?? :D and who knows ya better?? :p ...too many questions lol

[ 02-14-2002: Message edited by: jellybean40 ]

[Fastie]

Originally posted by ftrphxcop:
<STRONG> the act of two mutual partners and a bed.</STRONG>

A bed, :confused: What about all those "other" places.... the dining room table, shower, entry hall, stairs, kitchen, hot tub in the yard, garage, wonderwoman's plane, etc. ??? !!! :)

[Niteshift]

No wonder you're Fast 1. :D

[Blonde Heat]

I bet your wife luuuuves you. :eek: :D

[Fastie]

Originally posted by ftrphxcop:
<STRONG>I bet your wife luuuuves you. :eek: :D</STRONG>

If you mean MY wife, I don't have one, nor a husband. I'm a female, at least the last time I checked I was. :)

[Blonde Heat]

oops! :o

Don't feel bad alot of members thought i was a male also. :eek: ;) :D
.
wonderwoman's plane,

This is what made me think you were a man.

[ 02-15-2002: Message edited by: ftrphxcop ]

[Valor55]

Originally posted by ftrphxcop:
<STRONG>I'll wait to answer this one thank you very much. :D</STRONG>

If you can't tell your spouse or significant other what you did you shouldn't do it.

[Fastie]

Originally posted by ftrphxcop:
<STRONG>oops! :o

Don't feel bad alot of members thought i was a male also. :eek: ;) :D
.
wonderwoman's plane,

This is what made me think you were a man.

[ 02-15-2002: Message edited by: ftrphxcop ]</STRONG>

I guess we should've picked names like "daisy" or "bunny" !!!

The plane comment was referring back to something I said in response to another one of your questions about who we thought would be better lovers or some such thing, and I said, I thought batman in wonderwoman's plane would be fun, or something along those lines. I've enjoyed your questions, what was the name of that game??? :)

[Niteshift]

I knew you were female :D

[Blonde Heat]

:D

[Fastie]

Originally posted by Niteshift:
<STRONG>I knew you were female :D</STRONG>

Thanks Nite, I feel better now !! I'm glad
somebody knew I was female !! LOL :D

[Blonde Heat]

They are just called conversation cards. :)

[txinvestigator1]

Please define "cybersex".

Is it masturbation while typing on the computer? That sounds like "cybermasturbation" to me.

If I masturbate while reading a Penthouse is that "mediasex"?

[Jim Burnes]

Aww man! :o Go wash your hands :D

Jim Burnes

[klar]

I knew you were a lady too fast1.

Klar

[shadows]

.... just waiting to see where this is going to end up. :rolleyes:

[shooter1201]

Where's it going to end up? Probably on HBO's 'Real Sex'..... :D

[Jeffrey]

Most of you know I am a Christian (as if you couldn't tell :D ). I personally believe that the physical relationship is to remain within the bounds of marriage. A relationship should have more to it than just a physical attraction. Therefore, I believe that anyone who truely cares about their special one would not engage in any sort of outside relationship, even if it is in a virtual world. It removes the sanctity of matrimony. Therefore, because it does affect the relationship, it would be cheating.

[dk]

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earing." he replies sheepishly.

"So, really? How long have you been wearing one?"

"Er, ever since my wife found it in our bed."