Bart
02-03-2004, 02:08 PM
i saw this in another forum:
RULES FOR BEING A GOOD REPUBLICAN
1) You have to believe that helping the Chinese
communist economy is good for Americans. The 440
factories Walmart has over there doesn't have anything
to do with Americans losing their jobs at home, cheap
prices are good for consumers (if there are any
consumers left with jobs in America).
2) You have to believe that the government should
stay out of people's lives, yet you want the
government to regulate same-sex marriage, spend
millions to strengthen tradition families and end
abortion, leaving women with no say over their
personal health or bodies.
3) You have to believe that the nation's best
prosperity in one decade in history (the Clinton era)
was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush
Sr., but yesterday's gas prices are Bill Clinton's
fault and has nothing to do with Haliberton or any of
the other gas mogels that are major contributors to
Bush's reelection campaign.
4) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted
with decisions about her own body, but that large
multi-national corporations should have no regulations
or interference.
5) You have to believe that even though governments
have supported the arts for 5,000 years and that most
of the great works from Renaissance art were paid for
by governments, our government should shun such
support. After all the rich can afford to buy their
own and the poor don't need any.
6)You have to believe that the lumber from the last
one percent of the old growth US forests is well worth
the destruction of those forests and the
extinction of the several species of plants and
animals therein. You also believe being the only
country in the world not signing the Kyoto treaty to
prevent global warming is a smart business decision.
7) You have to believe that the AIDS virus is not
important enough to deserve federal funding
proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the
public doesn't needed to be educated about it -
because if we just ignore it - it will go away - after
all it worked in Africa. (Or has it?)
8) You have to believe that pollution is okay, so
long as it makes a profit..., even better if it's in
another state.
9) You have to despise public programs, but expect
your social security checks on time. And giving $97
billion dollars to HMO's, to large multinational
corporations and to the Gold Rule Company for a
medical savings plans (called a Prescription Drug Plan
for Seniors) makes more sense that putting that money
into Medicare a plan that was instituted because
Insurance companies wouldn't insure Seniors.
10) You have to declare that a waiting period to
purchase a handgun is bad because access to a new
firearm is an important concern for all Americans -
even children and felons.
11) You sponsor prayer in school, just as long as you
don't pray to Allah or Buddha. And God Bless America,
& not the rest of the world's populations.
12) You believe it's wise to keep condoms out of
schools, because of course, if teenagers don't have
condoms, they won't have sex. You also believe your
own teenagers are virgins.
13) You believe that biology teachers are corrupting
the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the
basics of human sexuality - but the Bible which is
filled with sex and violence is good reading at any
age.
14) You believe that society is color-blind and
growing up black in America doesn't diminish your
opportunities, but you still won't vote for Allan
Keyes and think that Trent Lott was unfairly treated.
15) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad for
defending the constitution, while the NRA is good for
defending the constitution.
16) You believe that the preemptive Iraq War has
nothing to do with middle eastern oil and that the
government should let you drive an SUV that gets 6
miles to the gallon because natural resources are
unlimited when you are a superpower.
17) You believe that public education, pregnancy,
aging, death, illness and mental or physical
disabilities aren't a public concern - unless they
could be used to make money.
18) You believe it's ok to spend more money funding
the Israeli Army than on all US domestic programs
combined.
19) You have to believe that it was wise to let Ken
Starr spend 50 million dollars to attack Clinton,
because no other US presidents have ever been
unfaithful to their wives while in office.
20) You have to believe that we should forgive and
pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde and Bob Livingston
for their maritial infidelities, but that bastard Bill
Clinton should never be forgiven.
21) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and you are
certain he shares your hate for AIDS victims,
homosexuals, labor unions and Hillary Clinton.
22) You believe Bush really fairly won the election
in his brother's home state of Florida - that the
polls weren't closed early in districts that are
mostly African American and the punch card machines
were properly maintained. A narrow decision of 5/4 by
a Conservative Supreme Court had nothing to do with
putting him in office.
23) You believe we need our nuclear weapons for
defense, but we don't call them "weapons of mass
destruction" .
24) You believe that the government has the right to
know what library books your are reading, what you use
your credit cards for, and what you say in email and
phone conversations because you have forgotten the
lessons learned from Nazi Germany and the Gene
McCarthy era in the US.
RULES FOR BEING A GOOD REPUBLICAN
1) You have to believe that helping the Chinese
communist economy is good for Americans. The 440
factories Walmart has over there doesn't have anything
to do with Americans losing their jobs at home, cheap
prices are good for consumers (if there are any
consumers left with jobs in America).
2) You have to believe that the government should
stay out of people's lives, yet you want the
government to regulate same-sex marriage, spend
millions to strengthen tradition families and end
abortion, leaving women with no say over their
personal health or bodies.
3) You have to believe that the nation's best
prosperity in one decade in history (the Clinton era)
was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush
Sr., but yesterday's gas prices are Bill Clinton's
fault and has nothing to do with Haliberton or any of
the other gas mogels that are major contributors to
Bush's reelection campaign.
4) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted
with decisions about her own body, but that large
multi-national corporations should have no regulations
or interference.
5) You have to believe that even though governments
have supported the arts for 5,000 years and that most
of the great works from Renaissance art were paid for
by governments, our government should shun such
support. After all the rich can afford to buy their
own and the poor don't need any.
6)You have to believe that the lumber from the last
one percent of the old growth US forests is well worth
the destruction of those forests and the
extinction of the several species of plants and
animals therein. You also believe being the only
country in the world not signing the Kyoto treaty to
prevent global warming is a smart business decision.
7) You have to believe that the AIDS virus is not
important enough to deserve federal funding
proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the
public doesn't needed to be educated about it -
because if we just ignore it - it will go away - after
all it worked in Africa. (Or has it?)
8) You have to believe that pollution is okay, so
long as it makes a profit..., even better if it's in
another state.
9) You have to despise public programs, but expect
your social security checks on time. And giving $97
billion dollars to HMO's, to large multinational
corporations and to the Gold Rule Company for a
medical savings plans (called a Prescription Drug Plan
for Seniors) makes more sense that putting that money
into Medicare a plan that was instituted because
Insurance companies wouldn't insure Seniors.
10) You have to declare that a waiting period to
purchase a handgun is bad because access to a new
firearm is an important concern for all Americans -
even children and felons.
11) You sponsor prayer in school, just as long as you
don't pray to Allah or Buddha. And God Bless America,
& not the rest of the world's populations.
12) You believe it's wise to keep condoms out of
schools, because of course, if teenagers don't have
condoms, they won't have sex. You also believe your
own teenagers are virgins.
13) You believe that biology teachers are corrupting
the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the
basics of human sexuality - but the Bible which is
filled with sex and violence is good reading at any
age.
14) You believe that society is color-blind and
growing up black in America doesn't diminish your
opportunities, but you still won't vote for Allan
Keyes and think that Trent Lott was unfairly treated.
15) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad for
defending the constitution, while the NRA is good for
defending the constitution.
16) You believe that the preemptive Iraq War has
nothing to do with middle eastern oil and that the
government should let you drive an SUV that gets 6
miles to the gallon because natural resources are
unlimited when you are a superpower.
17) You believe that public education, pregnancy,
aging, death, illness and mental or physical
disabilities aren't a public concern - unless they
could be used to make money.
18) You believe it's ok to spend more money funding
the Israeli Army than on all US domestic programs
combined.
19) You have to believe that it was wise to let Ken
Starr spend 50 million dollars to attack Clinton,
because no other US presidents have ever been
unfaithful to their wives while in office.
20) You have to believe that we should forgive and
pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde and Bob Livingston
for their maritial infidelities, but that bastard Bill
Clinton should never be forgiven.
21) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and you are
certain he shares your hate for AIDS victims,
homosexuals, labor unions and Hillary Clinton.
22) You believe Bush really fairly won the election
in his brother's home state of Florida - that the
polls weren't closed early in districts that are
mostly African American and the punch card machines
were properly maintained. A narrow decision of 5/4 by
a Conservative Supreme Court had nothing to do with
putting him in office.
23) You believe we need our nuclear weapons for
defense, but we don't call them "weapons of mass
destruction" .
24) You believe that the government has the right to
know what library books your are reading, what you use
your credit cards for, and what you say in email and
phone conversations because you have forgotten the
lessons learned from Nazi Germany and the Gene
McCarthy era in the US.