I am so depressed

[AuxNY]

I need cheering up. My girlfriend dumped me yesterday and my family hates me and mostly will not talk to me. I feel like I am all alone with no one and will always be alone with no one.

I need to get out of my funk. :(

**Before anyone asks, I'm very depressed, but not so depressed that I'm going to eat my gun.

[Reef_Cop]

Talk to a friend or even a therapist and over time it will get better.

[BaseballBabe]

Go workout,take a walk outside, watch a funny movie or go fire off your gun! :D If I had a gun I'd be at the gun range every day.

[Futurelaw89]

Well that sucks. For whatever reason your family is mad at you...they'll get over it. It's family.

As for your gf dumping you...don't let it get to you. If its a done deal then realize she's not going to come back and keep walking tall. Try doing something you enjoy and eventually you'll forget about it.






Futurelaw

[Monkeybomb]

Heavy workout. Friends, then a strip club.

[StainlessSteve]

First off get rid of the self-pity BS you got going and look at all the things you do have. Ya got both arms, legs, full set of teeth, water to drink, food in the fridge, car to drive? Find one thing in you life right now that you know someone else doesn't have and be damn thankful you have it :mad: now STFU:rolleyes:

[Southflaguy]

If you're in NYC then take a walk, I'm sure there something going on...If not just do what MonkeyBomb said...:D

[Outshined]

I need cheering up. My girlfriend dumped me yesterday and my family hates me and mostly will not talk to me. I feel like I am all alone with no one and will always be alone with no one.

I need to get out of my funk. :(

**Before anyone asks, I'm very depressed, but not so depressed that I'm going to eat my gun.


This too will pass, take it from someone who has been there and done that. Just to tell you focusing on the bad things will not help and will most likely hurt you. Think of the good things and power through it. Hang in there.

[davisac]

stop thinking about it and yourself. need to stay active and alert. been there....

[cbr600_kitty]

First off get rid of the self-pity BS you got going and look at all the things you do have. Ya got both arms, legs, full set of teeth, water to drink, food in the fridge, car to drive? Find one thing in you life right now that you know someone else doesn't have and be damn thankful you have it :mad: now STFU:rolleyes:

LOL....I think that was a little over the top.....

I think we've all been there and done that....it hurts, but over time it will pass and you'll find a new gal :)

Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, spend as much time with friends as possible, reach out to your family (if possible) ...and keep your chin up .... ;)

[Wynne]

Although you are in the thick of it now, things do get better. I believe everything happens for a reason and it usually means something better is lining up. Take suggestions from those above, work on your career, read, watch movies, do some off duty activities where you meet new people, have a drink and go see some strippers. BTW, there are us females out there who DO get the whole cop lifestyle!

[Taylor13]

I find driving go-karts therapeutic. Don't know about you.

[RoadKingTrooper]

All good advice! Volunteer your spare time somewhere. Socialize with others who need help, will take your mind off your problems.

[TheKansan]

I need cheering up. My girlfriend dumped me yesterday and my family hates me and mostly will not talk to me. I feel like I am all alone with no one and will always be alone with no one.

I need to get out of my funk. :(

**Before anyone asks, I'm very depressed, but not so depressed that I'm going to eat my gun.

Aren't you in the NYPD police academy right now? Do you think your career choice could have something to do with your relationship troubles?

BTW, aren't you a female?

[AuxNY]

Aren't you in the NYPD police academy right now? Do you think your career choice could have something to do with your relationship troubles?

BTW, aren't you a female?

Yes, I'm female. There seems to be a lot of gay female cops. There also seems to be a lot of gays whose families have little to do with them because they are gay.

I'm not sure how much my career choice effected my relationship troubles. My girlfriend was cool with the job, but I'm been tired a lot lately and wasn't spending as much time with her as I should have because of the job.

[iamacop]

One thing you'll learn, your career will always be there for you. Whenever I was dumped (which was a lot) I always knew my job was there for me. As weird as it sounds, it's true. Your job will keep you busy and will allow you to have fun out there. Go work some extra jobs and flirt with some other gay females. Don't dwell on the little stuff...

[BaseballBabe]

Yes, I'm female. There seems to be a lot of gay female cops. There also seems to be a lot of gays whose families have little to do with them because they are gay.

I'm not sure how much my career choice effected my relationship troubles. My girlfriend was cool with the job, but I'm been tired a lot lately and wasn't spending as much time with her as I should have because of the job.

Concentrate on you and your career. You will find someone later when the time is right. :)

[TheKansan]

I'm not sure how much my career choice effected my relationship troubles. My girlfriend was cool with the job, but I'm been tired a lot lately and wasn't spending as much time with her as I should have because of the job.

Well, it might have been part of the issue. Whatever happens, don't let your relationship troubles affect your performance at the academy.

[FJDave]

Partners come, and partners go. Be happy with yourself first, and that means be happy doing what you want to do with your life. If your dream is to be a police officer, then by GAWD be a cop! If and when someone comes along and supports your life choices, then you have found a keeper. Hang in there....she'll come when you (and she) are truly ready.

[AuxNY]

Well, it might have been part of the issue. Whatever happens, don't let your relationship troubles affect your performance at the academy.


Err.. my girlfriend thought she had caught something from a previous partner who cheated that was only showing up now. It ended up being a false alarm, a cyst caused by a clogged gland. She said she didn't like the way I spoke to her when she thought she was sick and dumped me.

Yes, I had a clean bill of health at my last physical. Yes, I will be getting checked out by a dr. in the next week or so to be on the safe side, but I think I am fine.

I think this was the final straw. Before this happened, I should have been paying more attention to her, but was too tired to.

[deputy x 2]

One thing you'll learn, your career will always be there for you. Whenever I was dumped (which was a lot) I always knew my job was there for me. As weird as it sounds, it's true. Your job will keep you busy and will allow you to have fun out there. Go work some extra jobs and flirt with some other gay females. Don't dwell on the little stuff...

More like your career will keep your mind occupied.

Your family doesn't hate you...perhaps they don't agree with the lifestyle. That's okay because they aren't the one living it or understand it. No matter what you will always be their daughter.

The job can be very exhausting especially in the beginning when you are trying to learn the necessary skills to stay alive during your career. Then you go from learning the skills to adapting them to real life situations.

Every relationship straight and gay are put to the test during this time. Some make it...some don't.

Keep your head up.....sistah!

[ACS1719]

Look at what you do have... Your blood family may not want to have much to do with you (and that blows... I know) but your brothers in blue will always have your back, on both sides of the boarder.

As far as girlfriends... hmmm well we have all been dumped and all been hurt. It will get better... it just takes time.

[LINY]

but not so depressed that I'm going to eat my gun.

Or you'd be another 54 EDP, as they say. ;)

Maybe she wasn't totally cool with the job, if she didn't understand the Academy would wear a person out a lot and make them tired. I could imagine it does.

I also completely agree with the dog thing below. When I was in my young teens I was depressed (I'm also in the same boat, but my family is supportive - it was school that wasn't). We had gotten a pomeranian and it really did do wonders. Dogs do wonders for a lot of peoples mental health and they're so great!

[LMUcrazycagegrl]

If she dumped you because of one reaction, she was looking for a reason to dump you. That's retarded.

As for your family - I don't know why they hate you, but my guess is that they hate you because you aren't who they want you to be. My advice is BE YOURSELF. They'll get over themselves when they realize they can't push you around anymore....

Surround yourself with people who love you. Get a dog who will love you unconditionally. Dogs do WONDERS! If you can't get one, go to a shelter and volunteer some time with the dogs there. I did that once - LOVED every second of the time I spent with those dogs who craved so much attention...

Life WILL get better. Remember that!

[brad601]

Hang out with your partners thats what ttheyre for. Avoid Strip Clubs Strippers Don't really like you no matter how much they say they do. Oh despite what you heard theres no sex in the champaign room. Focus on your studies. pof dot com I wont elaborate just check it out. Ok Ill elaborate a bit after I graduated the academy my GF dumped me (Now Im engaged to her long story) anyways mucho rebound things that site its unbeliveable. Work out. Play video games. Sit around on your days off drinking beer in your underwear and play video games and watch family guy. Alcohol, get a cat, rebounds, flings, NO STRIPERS. Think I covered all the bases

[BaseballBabe]

I like to add something else to.



............... you are not ALONE! You have everyone here who knows what it is like!;):D I told you.... I'm here if you want to chat. I can't help you will what is going on with your life. I can definitely make you smile. :D

[JingleHeimrJify]

I'm sure things will turn around soon and I hope they do. Best of luck at academy as well.

[Futurelaw89]

I like to add something else to.

............... you are not ALONE! You have everyone here who knows what it is like!;):D I told you.... I'm here if you want to chat. I can't help you will what is going on with your life. I can definitely make you smile. :D

Haha true. I thought this thread wasn't going to get much attention but this turned into a real O.com hug-fest. :D


Who wants to hug FutureLaw first? (no dudes)






Futurelaw

[RJDSRT05]

Who wants to hug FutureLaw first? (no dudes)






Futurelaw

:(

[Jenners]

Just to play devil's advocate, if my bf (or gf) told me he/she might have gotten something from a previous relationship that was just now showing up....I'd be righteously ****ed even if I weren't going through the stress of academy life. Don't risk my life because you don't get checked out. So I can imagine the OP wasn't the most supportive when her own health was now at risk.

Depression, get meds. Seriously. Don't start a career like this already in the hole.

[DeputySC]

Depression takes time to get over. In the mean time, what did you do to cause your girlfriend to dump you and entire family to not want anything to do with you?

[asullivan]

First off get rid of the self-pity BS you got going and look at all the things you do have. Ya got both arms, legs, full set of teeth, water to drink, food in the fridge, car to drive? Find one thing in you life right now that you know someone else doesn't have and be damn thankful you have it :mad: now STFU:rolleyes:

Whooa Trig,,,:mad:

Ummmmmm, uhhhhhh... A few weeks ago I almost ate a round....:o

Cause I lost some thang I really truly loved.....I spent 3 and one half turns in troll country, ready ta' "Do it"......
And then some thang said ta' me what SSteve said Ta' you.... He said and I paraphrase, Every thang and situation is relative,,,,:)

I have seen and lived in places that would make Satan sick....:(

Ummmmmmm, I met A LEO not too long ago, Ummmm, He had a hard luck story too...A possible deadly health situation....And oyher thangs....

I,ve had a good run...... Your still young,,,:)

Ummm I believe, everythang has a purpose, and this, I promise you, will pass..,,

I promise and know it, fer a fact...;)

Getty Boy.....:)

[brn2reign]

" If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever." - Doug Horton

Perhaps it was for the better...perhaps it wasnt. Either way it happened. Now you have to ask yourself, what are you going to do about it? Give it time so you can focus on the academy? try to rekindle this relationship and hope for the best? How much is she worth to you? Love is worth fighting for even if that means you start throwing the first punch in the 4th round....as long as you fight. But if you dont love her, do everyone a favor and throw in the towel and find someone worth fighting for. Good luck in the academy.

[Futurelaw89]

:(

hahaha sorry buddy.

[Nessmuk]

A few things for the OP:

As others have said, you are so not alone. I went through similar circumstances over 25 years ago and am still here & alive. That girlfriend is long gone, the good part of the family reconciled & the whacky part just got whackier. Sometimes nothing p*#ses the 'other guy' off more than when they knock you down but you keep getting back up & moving on.

Ditch that manipulative wench. Sure, you think she dumped you and it hurts, but let the thing go through as a ditching from your end and it might change your attitude. The last thing you need is someone else manipulating your mind & heart right now - you need to get through the academy, and if she won't support that then she won't support a lot of things, and that's just plain selfish of her.

One of the best officers I ever had was a gay woman; she made it to retirement & is in a better relationship now than she was in when I first met her. Her personal life had zero to do with her being a great officer.

It doesn't matter who or what you love, that's your business & not anyone else's unless you make it so. If your family won't support that...well, tell 'em to go s*#t in a hat.

One thing you do control at times like this is your attitude. It takes a lot more effort to have a never-say-die attitude when it seems like your whole world is conspiring against the idea of feeling good about yourself, but no one else can make you feel good about yourself, either. Give it a try - in reality compared to the rest of the world you have a lot to be thankful for.

Focus on getting through the academy, do your best, and plan something for later for a graduation present for yourself.

BTW, I am an older, hetero male, but a lot of what you speak of is pure human stuff at a much lower level and got nothing to do with your more complex issues. As I tried to illustrate above about one of my favorite now-retired officers, that other stuff has nothing to do with your success as an officer. Sure it makes up part of what makes up you, but no more so than me being an old straight guy. Don't let others make it so, either.

Be proud of who you are and don't let family, someone who you thought was a firend, or anyone else make you feel bad about being yourself.

Good luck, kid. You may think it hard to realize right now, but you'll do alright. Make it so.

[Multi Tasker]

I will insert some humor here......having your family back away from you isn't necessarily bad. It will give them a chance to think about their opinions and why they are thinking them. Give them space and let them own their issues. You can work on yours.....make yourself the number one priority here. You are in the Academy! Do you know how many people on this site would love to be where you are? Focus on your accomplishments and doing the best you can. Your relationship will be waiting for you on the other side....good or bad. She will have to understand that you just can't do "this" right now...at least my opinion.

On another note....I have a 28 yr old niece who is drop dead gorgeous, likes chicks.....just sayin. :)

Hang in there. Concentrate on all of the good things you have going on right now and let the rest wait till your ready to deal with them.

[Garbage Man]

I have had numerous lesbian friends over the years, especially in law enforcement and have always enjoyed their company. Frankly I think that as a general rule lesbians make great cops and are naturals at the job. But I have observed many of my friends tend to be moodier than straight females. And often given to bought's of depressions. At least one of them sought medical help and found that it was hormonal and was prescribed some medication that seemed to work pretty well. The others I knew, when they got in this state of mind just went out and got in a fight.

If possible I would change your environment, hang out at completely new places kind of reinvent yourself.

Girlfriends come and go, learn what you can, if possible be better to the next one. Your family will come around some day…as soon as they need something from you.


What is your status with NYPD, are you on the job now?

[AuxNY]

Just to play devil's advocate, if my bf (or gf) told me he/she might have gotten something from a previous relationship that was just now showing up....I'd be righteously ****ed even if I weren't going through the stress of academy life. Don't risk my life because you don't get checked out. So I can imagine the OP wasn't the most supportive when her own health was now at risk.

Depression, get meds. Seriously. Don't start a career like this already in the hole.

I was upset, but don't think I said anything over the top. I didn't scream and call her names. It was more of a OMG how come you don't take care of yourself type of thing and a I hope you didn't get me sick.

I don't think I'm clinically depressed or need meds. I think I just needed a pity party. I thought my ex was "the one" and was sad that she broke up with me.

[AuxNY]

On another note....I have a 28 yr old niece who is drop dead gorgeous, likes chicks.....just sayin. :)


How far does she live from NY? :D

[StainlessSteve]

How far does she live from NY? :D


Hell I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body :D

[AuxNY]

Thank you everyone for being so supportive. I'm feeling much better now. :)

[StainlessSteve]

Thank you everyone for being so supportive. I'm feeling much better now. :)

Anytime!!! now get out there and make a difference Debbie Downer :D

[KapsFB]

Go out to a pub and have a few beers. You'll feel better.
http://i37.tinypic.com/1pc6ep.jpg
Trust me!

[AuxNY]

Go out to a pub and have a few beers. You'll feel better.
http://i37.tinypic.com/1pc6ep.jpg
Trust me!


What a lovely watering hole. :D

[StainlessSteve]

What a lovely watering hole. :D

Yeah........all three of them :D

[BaseballBabe]

Haha true. I thought this thread wasn't going to get much attention but this turned into a real O.com hug-fest. :D


Who wants to hug FutureLaw first? (no dudes)






Futurelaw

:(

Hugs to both of you. :p

[BaseballBabe]

Anytime!!! now get out there and make a difference Debbie Downer :D

You are such an ***** but a funny ***** at times. :p

[BaseballBabe]

Hell I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body :D

Don't let RR hear you say that. She may like it too much. :p

[deputy x 2]

How far does she live from NY? :D

You made me laugh!!!!:D

[TheKansan]

Err.. my girlfriend thought she had caught something from a previous partner who cheated that was only showing up now. It ended up being a false alarm, a cyst caused by a clogged gland. She said she didn't like the way I spoke to her when she thought she was sick and dumped me.

Yes, I had a clean bill of health at my last physical. Yes, I will be getting checked out by a dr. in the next week or so to be on the safe side, but I think I am fine.

I think this was the final straw. Before this happened, I should have been paying more attention to her, but was too tired to.

So she possibly infected you with an STD, and then she gets upset that you treated her differently!?!?!?!

To tell you the truth, I think you are better off without her.

[Outshined]

So she possibly infected you with an STD, and then she gets upset that you treated her differently!?!?!?!

To tell you the truth, I think you are better off without her.

Sex with someone you aren't married to is great. As long as you have great life insurance.

[AuxNY]

Sex with someone you aren't married to is great. As long as you have great life insurance.

I'm gay. I can't get married. Plus, STDs generally aren't transmitted from female to female. That's usually a male/female or male/male thing.

[Outshined]

I'm gay. I can't get married. Plus, STDs generally aren't transmitted from female to female. That's usually a male/female or male/male thing.

Yeah, I knew that before my first response that you were gay. And thanks for the education on the rest.

[StainlessSteve]

Don't let RR hear you say that. She may like it too much. :p

She probably wouldn't even mind if I didn't shave..............my face! Any old port in the storm eh BBB:confused::D

[StainlessSteve]

I was gonna say 'Girls suck

yes..............er...............ummmm:D

[BaseballBabe]

She probably wouldn't even mind if I didn't shave..............my face! Any old port in the storm eh BBB:confused::D

Huh?:confused: Now you have me confused. LOL:p:confused:

[BaseballBabe]

yes..............er...............ummmm:D

Dirty ....dirty mind!:p