What to do, Should I make a move or not??

[k91king3]

Ok so here is the sit rep. been in K-9 for almost 7 years now and just recently retired my partner (he has cancer :( :mad:) I have a friend in K-9 different agency a Female LEO handler who have known for about 5 years now. Other then training and working together on a few occassions we have not really hung outisde of work or talked much outisde of work.

Ran into her about 6 months ago working the court house and we started BS ing. She recently moved about 15 mins from me and gave me her # and said to call her and we shouold hang and get the dogs together. We did and have done so on a few occassions. We talk/text frequently and she really listened and was willing to help when I found out about my partner.

We have drank beers togthere and had dinner and just chilled and let the dogs play. (my house and hers) During police week I had a few LEO friends over for BBQ and she came (wearing a "T" that completely showed
it all :D) Anyways Her and I were upstairs I was showing her some K-9 pathches I had added to collection and all my buddies thought I should have made a move on her then?? I don't know if thats whts she was thinking or not. She has said that she is not looking for anything serious but, neither am I. However we flirt and hang out and she called me recently after I texted her and left me VM saying that she was just thinking about me and wanted to call. :confused:

Quick BG on this when we first met my K-9 Lt wanted to set us up and always thought we were a good match. She agreed to do lunch one day after training with me but, it never panned out and I ended up dating someone else and getting married eventually...... that failed and now I have been seperated for a year and now getting divorced. My K-9 Lt was really happy to hear we were talking again and wished we could pair up.

So what should I do??? Do I try and make a move the next time we are hanging out? I don't want to ruin the freindship though but, still thinks she is really cute and want to try. I mean we flirt but, not like heavy flirting kind of playful. Thoughts Please. I am lost here. Thanks all and sorry for for the long post.

[Landric]

This sounds like a question for Smurfette, but it sounds to me like she is looking for you to make a move...

[AZLawDawg]

Ask her if she wants to hang out, dinner and a movie or something, if she says yes, see how the evening goes and plan from there.

[Bunnel]

Ask her if she wants to hang out, dinner and a movie or something, if she says yes, see how the evening goes and plan from there.

I concur. There are subtle ways to kick things up a notch....from what you're saying I would be in there like a dirty shirt if I was you!!:)

Let us know what happens....

[CUFFS137]

Can't answer w/out a pic of her in the t-shirt.

PS. Sorry about your partner.

[k91king3]

This sounds like a question for Smurfette, but it sounds to me like she is looking for you to make a move...

Thats what I thought too as I was writing this that this might be right up smurfette's alley. :D But, I need and will take lots of advice on this one.

[k91king3]

Can't answer w/out a pic of her in the t-shirt.

PS. Sorry about your partner.

Thanks about the partner. Actually got another thread about that under my old username. As for her.....:D lets just say that T was filled out very nicely with the comment she made that she has more like it. :D :D We were all rather shocked to see what we could not see that existed under those BDUs. But, If she looked good in BDUs that should give you some idea of what she looks like in addition to be cool as S#*T! :)

[Guams]

Go for it. It almost sounds like she's begging you to do something.

[deputy x 2]

Green light!!!!

Guams.......you surprised me with your reply

[sigcopper]

I, too, am withholding judgement until a picture is posted. But, it sounds as if your mind is already made up. Heck, you really don't have anything to lose. Just don't poop where you eat.

[k91king3]

Hey guys thanks so far for all the suggestions and comments. I am going to hopefully talk to her tonite and see if we can't meet up this weekend or something. I guess I'll just feel it out then and see what the vibe is I am getting from her. She is hard to read though. You know like one of the guys but, still def. not one of the guys. I don't want to try and get the WTF? are you doing look and speech and ruin our friendship by trying. I hate this. I will let you all know how it goes though. Any more suggestions are entirely welcome. It's been almost 4 years (girlfriend / wife) since I had to get back in the saddle so to speak of dating and reading the signals of a women. Kind of Rusty at this :o Thanks all.

[deputy x 2]

It's like riding a bike. Relax

[sigcopper]

I've been married for, gosh, 21,000 years or is it 21 years? I forgot. My wife hates it when I say that. So, my experience is limited in dating over the past years. But, you would be foolish not to give it a shot.

[deputy x 2]

You should be up for parole soon....

[sigcopper]

I'm just hoping for a conjugal visit.

[Smurfette_76]

Female Officers (in case you haven't dated one) tend to be very straight forward and to the point. If you're interested in her, TELL HER. She's interested in you and seems like she's waiting for you to move or say something. I don't mean for you to scare the ever-loving crap out of her and you're not talking marriage.

Take her somewhere...outside coffee shop? Somewhere y'all can talk.

Quick story:

I knew my now husband was interested in me. We talked about anything and everything and I kept wondering when in the hell this man would FINALLY make his move. One day I was starting to get into my patrol car as he walked away. He called my name and as I turned around he said, "I have thought of kissing you until I can't think of anything else."

and he did.

And I melted.

[sigcopper]

Smurfette- You sure it just wasn't hot outside?

[Smurfette_76]

It was hot. Very hot.

[longinthetooth]

I agree with smurfette. Be open and honest. Tell her how much you enjoyed being with her and doing what you have been doing and I would just say. I've enjoyed your company and our time together but I am not sure what direction we should be going in. Do you want to keep this platonic or should I start brushing my teeth 4 times a day? OK maybe not the joke you can play that by ear but It you don't say things women don't know. They may think they know but they really don't. I would keep the affection terms light and not be rushing out to buy a gross of condoms.

[913]

Tell her if you were a dog, you'd probably be dry humping her leg right about now. She'll understand that...........................

Dude, tell her straight up she turns you on. See how she reacts to that. If she does not agree, she'll tell you. At a minimum, she should be flattered if you guys get along like you suggest. If she does agree, than it's on.

[FJDave]

As a 20 year happily marrried guy, I fully agree with Smurfette. She is very wise.

[jhkcop]

Grow a pair. Ask her out.

[k91king3]

Hey all, Thanks for the input. I tried to call her last night left VM but, we never ended up chatting so still no idea if we are going to be able to hook up this weekend. I guess as most of you have said really not much to lose buy just asking her straight up what she is thinking. And yes Smurfette she is rather straight forward thats why I am not sure what to do cause I thought I would already know what to do by now. Oh well we'll play this out. I'll let you all know how it goes.

[jthorpe]

Grow a pair. Ask her out.

hahahaha +1!!!!

[k91king3]

hahahaha +1!!!!

:eek: Point taken!! Thanks guys. I like the way smurfette put it more though. :p

[k91king3]

Ok, so I spoke with her last night. She called me :) We talked for about 30 mins or so we talked shop about K-9 things etc. then wnet off to BSing conversation. So she said to me why don't you guys (me and my partner) come over on Sunday and we'll hang out the party pool drink some beers listen to some bob marley and let the pups play. COOL !! :D :D So were talking and we get on the topic of tatts and how I got one of my partner when he retireed and she will do the same for hers and she mentions her Dolphin tatt and I am like where is it. And she says you'll see it on Sunday when I am in my bathing suit.... Yeah baby... Nice! :D :) So sounds all good.
Fastforwartd to this morning. I text her with weather update for Sun since we both were wondering. After saying what it will be I thrown in
Me : "were going skinny dippin :)"
Her: "Damn your feeling bold today ! :) "
Me: "what? were not?"
Her: "Why do you always push your luck ?"
Me: "I like living on the edge :)" Tell me your not ****ed at that?"
Her: "No. I am not that big of a BEEAATCHH!"
ME: "Didn't think so besides you gotta give me credit for trying"
No response. No big deal.

Ok, so WTF? does all that mean now. Last night was pretty cut and dry. Now I am kind of lost by the whole "why do you always push your luck comment" ?? :confused: Any thoughts on that whole thing? Thanks.

[sigcopper]

Me thinks it was about the skinny dipping comment. If I were you I'd play hard to get now. See if you are still on for the dog and pool gig but play hard to get when you get there. She knows you are interested....now let it sit for a little bit. But, I haven't been on an official date in over 23 years so I could be full of crap.

[913]

Sounds like she is looking for a hot meat injection. Ger 'er done dude.

[k91king3]

Sounds like she is looking for a hot meat injection. Ger 'er done dude.

Well why the hell doesn't she just come out and say that then....?? :rolleyes: :p

[Garbage Man]

I get it. Your looking for signs that you can take it to the next step without showing your cards and screwing up a perfectly good friendship. subtle next steps. I get Smurfettes perspective but I would like to know what she would have done if she had not been interested in the guy. If it had just been some one she just wanted to be friends with. Would she have been able to get over being ticked off and stil have been friends?
Here is some subtle baby step questions that give you pull out options.

Ask,

Do you think someday we might be more than firends?

or We seem to get along pretty well, I wonder what kind of couple we'd make? Do you think we'd still get along as well?

Do you think it was my fault my marriage failed? Do you think I'd be a good husband for someone?

Or ask her if she wants to get away for the weekend and some local destination. In making room arangments you will have your answer.

[longinthetooth]

And since you are getting more specific you better hope she doesn't read this thread

[Garbage Man]

And since you are getting more specific you better hope she doesn't read this thread

:D

New thread, I have this guy I used to work with when we were both K-9 and I wish he would just sut up and go for it already. What should I do?

[k91king3]

Oh well..... I got my answer. After a few beers and sitting in the sun long enough we started talking about the whole dating/relationships....... and she likes how we hang out and wants to be in a relationship where she can do exactly what her and I do but, she is not interested in me beyond just being friends. :confused: :( :) Oh well. I 'll take the freindship and just have fun hanging out with her as it is. Too bad too cause she looked good in that Bikini :D

[sigcopper]

I'd keep hanging around her at the pool. At least the view is good, huh? Do you have any pictures so we can judge?

[4905]

And since you are getting more specific you better hope she doesn't read this thread

Maybe she did read all this on line and that's what de-railed you??? :(

[k91king3]

Nahhh. I doubt it and besides knowing her if she did read this and put it together she would have already called me out on it. :eek: She would have been like "Seriously WTF? " Again though she would have called me out by now. Oh well I gave it a try. We have fun just hanging out so I'll take the freindship and enjoy the views for right now. :D

[Garbage Man]

Good thing you didnt follow smurfettes advise, grab her and kiss her.:o

[k91king3]

Good Lord... !!! that would have been ugly. There may have been an officer down if that had happened.... :eek: :p :o