Explaining to my girlfriend

[fpde279]

Hey guys. Ive been going out really with my girlfriend for over 5months. We want to get married later, were only 16 but we know this is the right thing for both of us.

However im finding it hard for her to understand my curiosity and safety that has been drilled into me and makes me who i am. Even in such a trusting relationship as ours, she dosent understand that i would put my life in front of someone else. Thats the nature of a police officer, i don't know how to explain that to her though,

Any help would be apreciated, thanks

[SpecOpsWarrior]

"were only 16 but we know this is the right thing for both of us."

At 16, your too young to be talking about getting married. There is a whole world out there for you to see and explore, concentrate on that and live a little before you start talking about getting married. Of course this is just my opinion, but I think a lot of other people are going to tell you the same thing.

[InSane1]

you are thinking about getting married??? heh.. you're 16??? heh heh... ahhh.. wait, lets get back to that marriage part.... AHHHH HAHAAHAHHAHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!

Make sure she wants the white picket fence and 10 kids same as you before you go out and do something silly like get married.

I think you need to repost something to the effect that, "How can I explain to my significant other that this is what I want to do for a living?"

--------
On that note, when I first told people this is what I wanted to do, they were like.. YEAH RIGHT... after some time and holding my ground as to what I really want, they realized there was no telling me that this goal could not be attained. I think the heart of a police officer is steadfast and holds (and relays) enough conviction to convince the skeptical of what you truely beleive and the reasons you decided on this profession.

[Mitzi]

ACK! 16 and you want to get married...Please, wait at least 10 more years! I have been married 32 years and I love my H dearly. We were only 20 when we were married and that was MUCH too young. (And I'll NEVER get married again) Being married and raising kids is the hardest, but most fulfilling, thing you will EVER do. Being a police officer is the hardest,most dangerous but from what I hear hear, also one of the most fulfilling things to do in your life.
Finish school, wait a bit. You are both much too young to be considering marriage.

<small>[ 10-27-2002, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]</small>

[shorty]

Whoaaaa, wait a minute. At 16, you don't have a clue what life has to offer. Take it from someone that thought they knew it all at 16. I got engaged when I was 18 to a guy and stayed engaged to him for 2 1/2 years. We would have went ahead and gotten married, but I was in college and my mother made me promise that I would wait until I gradutated before I got married. (She knew that once I was married, the chances of me finishing college were slim to none.. you know, married = more bills = less money). Come to find out she knew all along what she was talking about. I ended up getting curious about what else was out there in life. I got into a serious relationship with this guy way to young. I ended up breaking up with him, and I am sooooo glad. I met the man of my dreams a couple of years later and I had had time to discover the world and myself and was ready to committ to a life long relationship. You should be having fun, hanging out, and concentrating on school right now. If you ever want to be anything, get a college degree. If getting married is the right thing, it will wait until you're thru college. Divorce is messy, costly, and devastating. Don't get married thinking that if it doesn't work out you'll just get divorced. It's not that easy.
Ohh, I could go on about this all day......

[Mitzi]

My son was married at age 21 and what a disaster. His wife was only 19. SHe wanted the white dress, the reception, you name it. He was incredibly happy and I think my son would have remained a faithful husband til the end of their days. But, after 6 months of playing house, she decided this marriage thing wasn't any fun. But, instead of geting out of the marriage, she decided she could have the nice marriage and husband and a new guy on the side. She was 20, the new guy? 45, married once, one son, still living with his ex-wife and HER new H and 3 kids by 3 different guys (1 was his).
My son is not a stupid man. He caught them together. He got a lawyer so fast, her head spun. Florida is no fault. He moved back in with us, took half of the bank account (wishes now he had taken it all)PLUS had all the utilities turned off at their home.
So, there she was,20 years old, sitting in a pretty doublewide trailer, no electricity, no water, no TV, no food. She thought her boyfriend would move in and help out but he headed for the hills.
She came crawling back to our son who wanted nothing to do with her. Her father finally took pity on her and had the utilities turned back on but she was respnsible for all bills. She's still there, living with another older man that just wants a young body in his bed. He has no intention of ever marrying her. She has lost two jobs. Her life is a total mess.
And this could be you. Go to college. Expand your horizons. Get a good job and learn to take care of yourself before you marry. You will never regret it.

[p01ic3m4n]

dude, you just learned how to drive and you want to get married? <img src="http://www.fusionwerx.com/smilies/slap.gif" alt=" - " />

[InSane1]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^LMFAO^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

YEAH WHAT HE SAID!

lol love the smileyfaces popo... thats just cute!

[huff317]

Hey, I just figured out how to download an avatar onto another BB I use, and now I have to see his cool smilie's whackin each other. Man! ......someday, just you wait, someday....

[occiferdave]

16 eh....

Don't buy the first car you drive.... make sure you test drive many different models and brands.

If the only car you ever driven is a Escort and buy it right away, you'll never have the chance to drive the BMWs or Mercedes... and when a good deal on one of those cars comes along, you'll be in an Escort.

[Mike Tx]

On the other hand, an escort won't bleed him dry.

[occiferdave]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mike Tx:
<strong>On the other hand, an escort won't bleed him dry.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As a mechanic, you know how long a well crafted machine like a BMW or Mercedes will last you. If you take care of it, it will last many many years. Yes, it cost a lot more to drive one of those cars, but if your aim is to drive one car for the rest of your life, it might as well be the best one you can get.

Not to mention, the sleek lines, soft seats, the round headlights, and the way it purrrs....

[p01ic3m4n]

yes, but after 15 years or so, those are the ones who need a new costly front fascia, new headlights, and a new rear bumper. :)

[Don]

Hey fpde! I know you have taken a lot of guff in this thread. I also know, from experience, that these folks are right.

You see, I was engaged to wife # 1 when I was 16 and she was 15. We were married when I was 19, and divorced when I was 22.

Man, I've BTDT. We were both just a couple of dumb young kids that thought we knew everything. Don't make the same mistake.

Now is the time in your life when you need to be "expanding" your horizons, and being involved in a "serious romance" will only limit them. Trust me, when I tell you that if it is "meant to be" it will be as "meant to be" several years on down the road as it is now.

I tell you this, meaning no disrespect. But the fact is, that you are both still "kids" and you have several years still where you will be growing. Don't tie yourself up with someone that you may well grow "apart" from. Be best friends, or be good buddies, or whatever, but don't make promises you may regret, and don't tie yourself up with a relationship that is most likely NOT going to last.

One thing more. I DO NOT advocate "premarital sex," but I'm also a realist. Don't think that just because she is the first gal you sleep with, that you have to marry her. You don't, and you shouldn't. At least not yet.

[Delta_V]

One of my friends started dating this girl at 14. Two months after we graduated from high school, they got married. Only relationship either of them had ever been in. Needless to say, it didn't work out. They both got to college and realized what a big mistake it was. Now they are divorced and both dating other people.

The others are right, now is a time for you to be exploring relationships and having fun, not planning your future with your high school girlfriend. I'll tell you something that I learned when I graduated from high school (which wasn't that long ago): a VERY large percentage of high school relationships don't last once you go to college. I'd say it's probably something like 80-90%. You shouldn't put all your mind into this thinking that you two are going to get married, you're just setting yourself up to get hurt.

You already have one problem here...she doesn't like the idea of you going into a line of work that you obviously like. That raises a question. If forced to choose between a future with her or your career choice, which one would it be? You want to convince her why you want to become a cop, but maybe she just doesn't want any part of being a cop's wife, no matter what you tell her. I'd hate to see you make a decision now about changing the line of work you want to go into based on the thoughts of your girlfriend of five months.

I know it's easy for you to dismiss everything we tell you in this thread..."Oh, these people don't know US, they don't know how much we love each other..." Well, you're right. We don't know anything about your girlfriend or your relationship. That being said, I bet a lot of people on this board were in your position while in high school, having a girlfriend/boyfriend who we were SURE that we were going to spend the rest of our lives with. We're just trying to tell you not to expect a future from this relationship because we have seen a great many like it, and very few survive.

<small>[ 11-05-2002, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: PatrickM98 ]</small>

[Evnings]

I got married at 26, which was probably too early for me, espicially since my soon to be ex was 18.

16 is way too young to marry. There is no way you have enough life experience to support the relationship you need to develop to sustain a marriage.

[Summer Rain]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by p01ic3m4n:
<strong>yes, but after 15 years or so, those are the ones who need a new costly front fascia, new headlights, and a new rear bumper. :) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Love the play on words!

fpde279: I hope you take into consideration what these folks have already said. There is NO WAY that you know what you want out of life at age 16. Another point I'd like to make is that we as LEO do not have the duty to put our life on the line for someone else (although that sometimes happens). Our responsiblities are to protect and serve, but our first and foremost responsibility is to ourselves and our loveones: self-preservation . By that I mean, our main responsibility is to return home safely from our tour of duty. Good luck!

[occiferdave]

fpde279... at 16... if you get married... you'll be with her for another 70 years or so.... take your time.... test drive