Boyfriend Update

[AutumnAngel]

So yeah, I have been avoiding bringing this topic up because, frankly I don't want to be judged by anyone on the decision I made. We have decided to work things out based on his commitment to get some counseling for himself. (Which he already started) He feels extremely remorseful for what happened especially since he has to pay a hefty price.

He had his pre-trial hearing last Wednesday. The City attorney dismissed the malicious mischief charge but kept the criminal trespass 2 and got rid of the DV tags to make it look less severe. 5 days of work crew, 2 Anger Management courses, $1000 fine ($700 suspended) I think that is about it.

Anyway, I know a lot of you think that I'm asking for more trouble but he is looking at himself and seeing the wrong that he did AND doing some changing and soul searching.

Do you believe that people can change??

[CinaC]

I believe some people can change.

But the question is, do you believe your boyfriend will change?

[SpecOpsWarrior]

"Do you believe that people can change??"

In my experience, RARELY!

Autumn, I'm not trying to be a smart azz, but I think you already know whether he is really gonna change.

Be careful, because you have seen what he is capable of.

[Piper]

Autumn, Autumn, Autumn...

Unfortunaltly I see this every day in my line of work. For you I hope he changes, but I would not bet on it. I just hope the next time he ****s with you, you are not in the hospital.

Forgive me for being cold about it, but all the advice in the world is not going to change your mind, so I won't try to talk you out of it.

Please stay safe.

<small>[ 10-02-2002, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Piper ]</small>

[JKT]

Yes, people can change.

Although, they generally don't.

For long, anyway.

I have to agree with the consensus here.

Autumn, be very careful and vigilant.

A leopard rarely changes his spots.

(edit) Read my sig line......

<small>[ 10-02-2002, 10:04 PM: Message edited by: JKT ]</small>

[Sam]

The only way that he can change is in Christ. But even if he claims he has Christ you won't be able to know for sure if he is just saying it or really turning his life over to him. Avoid him like the plague.

[InSane1]

Angel.... Yeah they can.. My H used to be into drugs big time.. but I left him.. he changed and that is the one promise he kept. Its been 11 years since then and he never turned back to that, thank God! As for the anger thing..Mine also said he'd change and seek couselling... he never went... if that happens and he doesnt go to anger management then you might have a problem. God teaches us to forgive... and apparently you chose to forgive.. but I assure you one thing darlin... you will never forget... and once he gets angry again.... You will be scared...I just hope he can turn into the kind, gentle and understanding person you need him to be. Good Luck. If he reverts.. then please PLEASE reconsider.

Peace Girlfren!

[txinvestigator1]

AA,

You have to decide, but please don't marry him until he has been "anger" free for a long time, at least three years. Also please don't have sex with him, as you can't afford to have kids with this guy until he PROVES himself to you.

I say this will love and concern for you, not judgement.

[Mitzi]

Atuumn, you are BACK with this man? Honey, you fit the profile of a battered woman to a "T".
I will pray for you. He isn't worth it, honey. I pray it doesn't take you getting hurt badly to wake you up to what he is.
But, like one other poster said, nothing can be said to make you change your mind. Battered women have a "mindset" too.
My H changed...He got one chance and he knew he would get no more. But you have given this man several chances,AA.
I will pray for you. I have very bad vibes about this.

<small>[ 10-03-2002, 10:36 PM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]</small>