UPDATE: About My (EX!) Boyfriend

[AutumnAngel]

OK, this is bad. I hesitate to post this because I know you guys think I have nothing but guy problems. :rolleyes: Butttt...hear me out for a second. Dean and I broke up in mid June. What we had decided to do was "see other people" we wanted to stay in touch but we weren't going to be exclusive. By the way, this is a bad idea; don't ever try it. Anyway, we kept in touch and talked like every other day or so and did things like once a week together or something.

Just this last Saturday, we had talked about going to a football game together but he wanted to put conditions on it. He told me that he would only go with me if I had gotten rid of all my male friends and got rid of the internet. (he doesn't like me chatting with people) I told him that I thought that was pretty controlling of him and that I would have to think about it and get back to him on Sunday, the next day. So, I'm sitting there late Saturday night chatting on the phone with one of my guy buddies for a few hours, and I hear a knock on my door. This is 230am. I knew who it was and I wasn't going to answer it. I knew that he was probably ****ed about something. So after about a minute, I hear him kick my front door open that was locked with the dead bolt! I was so in shock that I couldn't say anything, and all he did was yell at me asking who I've been talking to, why I didn't answer the door etc. I didn't start yelling to agitate him any more but I was sooo afraid of him at this point. He was just pacing around my apartment seething and then he grabs my phone and throws it against the wall. He never touched me physically at all, but I think that's because I was extremely calm. I had to tell him to leave nicely because if my friend was to call back I knew the $*it would hit the fan. So I was basically begging him to go. Eventually he did go away, and I just didn't know what to do. It didn't even enter my mind to call the police, what could they do? He was gone. So I just called my friend back and told him what happened and he finally convinced me about an hour later that I had to call the cops.

So they came and took a report then said they were going to arrest him and he would go to jail which shocked me because it was basically my word against his sorta thing except there was obvious proof that there was forced entry. Anyway, somehow they lured him down to the station and he was in jail by noon the next day.

I'm freaked out about all of this you guys. He could lose his job over something like this and I don't know how mad he is going to get at me or what he is going to do. I got a protective order today and found out that they charged him with criminal trespassing 2 and malicious mischief both felony charges. Yikes! Now what is he going to do? Since he is a first time offender, what do you think will happen to him? Oh, and is this case like a city of Camas vs. Dean or am I going to have to press charges against him? This really stinks. I hate having to fear for my life. I feel better now though, I have my brother staying with me for awhile now.

So I guess all I have to say is: Mitzi, Don, Insane, and whoever else told me he was bad news was right on. He was a helluva lot more dangerous then I could have ever thought.

[InSane1]

Let it go to court and BE there. I don't know about Washington law, but here in Minnesota "fear" is a fifth degree assault. He obviously has assaulted you and that is why. I'm gladd you put the Kabosh on the relationship, and the restraining order is a good thing. Don't hesitate to dial 911 the first time he violates it. Get caller ID if you dont have it. Even if he calls its a violation and he can be arrested. Show no mercy, for he hasn't shown you any in his actions.

Once you decided to be independant of him, you decided not to be submissive, which is a step in the right direction.

Doesn't stuff like that just make ye wanna go BI? LOL :)

[klar]

Autumn, Insane is right on this do not let him contact you in any way shape or form and if he does call the police. A guy like this is very dangerous and will only stop when in prison or has you as his prisoner. I think you have done right by getting the order of protection. You deserve a lot more than a guy who thinks he is still a caveman that has to club you over the head and drag you to his cave.

Klar

[AutumnAngel]

OMG LOL

I was joking around with my mom the other day telling her that I have had it with *********s, I'm going lesbian!

P.S. I'm not a man hater -- I just don't like guys who are jerks.

[Fastie]

AA,

I'm glad he didn't hurt you and I think you're doing the right thing. I agree with the others, you need to stop this now. He crossed way over the line by kicking in your door. Don't let him anywhere near you and don't ever consider letting him be part of your life, no matter how nice or apologetic or changed he might seem to be.

[InSane1]

yanno... I was just thinking.... besides the assault, they could have charged him with burglary AND criminal damage to property!

[klar]

Naw no burglary because he did not take anything but B&E for sure as he did break in. Otherwise I think the charges against him are enough to keep him occupied for the time being. LOL

All I can say is good luck on finding a nice guy out there. We are around but are hard to find. We are normally the shy ones that do not talk much LOL I am the odd one of us all LOL

Klar

[jellybean40]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by AutumnAngel:
<strong>Dean and I broke up in mid June. What we had decided to do was "see other people" we wanted to stay in touch but we weren't going to be exclusive. By the way, this is a bad idea; don't ever try it. Anyway, we kept in touch and talked like every other day or so and did things like once a week together or something.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ok, so you really DIDNT break up. to me, that's still being together, just also seeing other people. and yes its a bad idea, especially with someone who's obviously been controlling. the fact that he was telling you to get rid of your friends and the internet is UNREAL, especially since you had already *broken up*

you knew from the things he was doing before that something was wrong with him. its just too bad that something so scary had to happen, to show you to trust your instincts. you are very lucky you are ok, and i can imagine how scary it is. just stay strong and have your family and friends around you. and stay away from HIM.

and let me add, if it feels bad, its NOT love. AND, someone who truly loves you, will NOT physically hurt or terrorize you.

<small>[ 08-27-2002, 05:31 AM: Message edited by: jellybean40 ]</small>

[InSane1]

Yeah burglary... He broke into an occupied dwelling, and had no legal justification for being there and commited a crime (the assault) to boot.
And one more thing AA, if he loses his job its his fault.,.... not yours.

[AutumnAngel]

Yeah, I know. I'm working on the eliminating guilt part. But seriously, I do feel bad about not making a clean break. It just started to get ugly because he was asking me all the time who I was with yada yada and I started lying to him because he was being nosy and I felt it was none of his business. Well, instead of lying I should have just said "It is none of your business who I am seeing." So anyway, I'm sure you can see how this just got uglier and uglier until he finally snapped.

[InSane1]

AA, I have a feeling you might try to second guess you actions and I just want to say that "I KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING HERE!!!!"

BTW....Since I was a lil girl....I always hated the name "Dean" :) heh.

[Sig220Man]

Angel, make sure you follow up on those protective orders.

I'm not sure about WA law, but in CA an Emergency Protective Order that is obtained by a peace officer is only good for 10 days. It is up to the victim to actually go before a judge during this time frame and request that the order be made into a full-blown restraining order.

AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HIM AND ALLOW HIM TO VIOLATE THE ORDER!!! I can't tell you how many times I've come across domestic disturbances where a valid restraining order had long been in place, but where the victim began to have second thoughts and allowed the abuser to come back. And it was only a matter of time before the cycle of abuse started all over again.

If you need any reassurance that this was the right thing to do, think of it this way: You are lucky in that you had the ability to get out of this relationship before he had the chance to control you by messing with your mind. A lot of women in abusive relationships are unable to get away from their abusers for this very reason.

[kateykakes]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by InSane1:
<strong>Doesn't stuff like that just make ye wanna go BI? LOL :) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ROTFLMAO! You are so bad, Riv! :D I can't tell you how many times I've complained about men to my friends and said now I know why women become lesbos. :p

[SpecOpsWarrior]

Sorry, I double tapped the mouse!

<small>[ 08-27-2002, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: SpecOpsWarrior ]</small>

[SpecOpsWarrior]

Autumn, your lucky! Very lucky! Look at this as a flashing neon sign!

If this had happend in SC and I had been responding, he would have been hooked up for Burglary 1st Degree, which carries up to LIFE IMPRISONMENT (entering the dwelling house of another, at night, with intent to commit a crime.......blah blah blah) Malicious Injury to Real Property (for the damage to the door and the door frame), and Malicious Injury to Personal Property (for the damage to the telephone).

One more thing, according to our Attorney General you would have been justified in popping a cap in his ***. I believe the term was "It is now open hunting season on home invaders!"

<small>[ 08-27-2002, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: SpecOpsWarrior ]</small>

[AutumnAngel]

Sig220 -- I have a court date for September 9th to go and make this a permanent order. I have to show up and basically tell the judge what happened and tell him that I want it to be permanent. I'm not concerned that he won't grant it for me. There isn't much to argue about -- "He broke into my house", should be enough. Only problem is that he has the right to show up and defend himself, but would he be that foolish? I doubt it. It just makes me nervous thinking about having to see him there.

It was interesting though; yesterday morning bright and early about 730am, Clark County Corrections called me and was asking me if they let him go would I feel threatened like he was going to hurt me and I said "Well, I don't really know -- it all depends on his state of mind, I don't know if he wants to kill me right now or not for getting him in trouble." So, if they let him go at 7pm last night, why did they call me that morning and ask if I felt threatened? Obviously, it didn't make that much difference. My dad says he thinks they just observed his behavior the remainder of the day and felt that he wasn't going to do anything to get revenge. Whatever, I don't think they should have let him go but maybe they felt it was ok.

[CinaC]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I double tapped the mouse!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can't believe you did that to a poor, defenseless mouse. Or does it qualify as one of those "home intruders"? I would think one bullet would be enough to kill a mouse, but TWO?!

Honestly, just get a cat.

[Bill R]

I prefer the term "controlled pair" over double tap :D

AA hang in there and be glad you discovered what he is without things getting worse.

<small>[ 08-27-2002, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: Bill R ]</small>

[CinaC]

Autumn,

It sounds like your ex- was nothing but trouble. I think if in 10 years you had the ability to look into an alternate dimension where you had continued a relationship with him, you'd be terrified by what you saw.

[JKT]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by AutumnAngel:
<strong> &lt;snip&gt;
.....yesterday morning bright and early about 730am, Clark County Corrections called me and was asking me if they let him go would I feel threatened like he was going to hurt me and I said "Well, I don't really know -- it all depends on his state of mind, I don't know if he wants to kill me right now or not for getting him in trouble." So, if they let him go at 7pm last night, why did they call me that morning and ask if I felt threatened? Obviously, it didn't make that much difference. My dad says he thinks they just observed his behavior the remainder of the day and felt that he wasn't going to do anything to get revenge. Whatever, I don't think they should have let him go but maybe they felt it was ok.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your Dad was very close. There is usuall a "cooling off" period for those arrested on DVB, between the time the bail is posted and the time of release. Here, it's from 4 to 12 hours. And, the victim is notified, as you were, BEFORE the suspect is released.

BTW; you did the right thing.......

[AutumnAngel]

Ok, so now I have a question.

I tried calling the police station a few minutes ago to find out if he made a statement when he went in on Sunday and she wouldn't tell me if he did or not. I thought that was public information -- why can't they tell me what he said?

Also, what do you think they said to get him to come down to the station? Gosh darn it, I'm so nosey. :D

[EMTJim]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by AutumnAngel:
<strong>
I said "Well, I don't really know -- it all depends on his state of mind, I don't know if he wants to kill me right now or not for getting him in trouble." </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Autumn,

You did not get him in trouble. He did that all by himself. Don't feel guilty for him paying for things that he has done to himself.

All the best,

Jim

[InSane1]

AA,
its only because the matter is still under investigation. We dont release information like that unless the investigation is complete. Yo0u can contact the records clerk to see if the city (or county) prosecutor will release that info to you. BE STEADFAST....even call the prosecutor.

Most times the prosecutor will have to release it if requested... Good luck.

[Mitzi]

I have a real diffrent take here. I think AA's life is in real danger.
I can only tell you what I would do. I HATE guns. But, if I had someone like him in my life, you better believe I'd get one. I'd go by the laws and take lessons at the firing range. And the next time the SOB kicked my door in, he'd be having this little gun in two little hands pointed between his two beady little eyes.
AA, take this seriously. You said. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"Well, I don't really know -- it all depends on his state of mind, I don't know if he wants to kill me right now or not for getting him in trouble." </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is what you said, AA, to their asking you if you felt safe with them leting him go.
This is not a simple thing you are dealing with here. This is a very dangerous man, AA. I daresay a lot of LEO's here probably had a hard time with your post. My bet is that, if they could, many LEO'S would go down there, in uniform if they could, and stand in a ring around him and say, "Hi, we're AA's friends."
AA, he isn't going to go away for a long time. You will be looking over your shoudler a long time. If he gets into your appartment, dial 911 and lay the phone down. Stand near to where the dispatcher can hear whats going on. Your staying calm may have saved your life....this time.
I see some issues with self-esteem here, honey. I freely admit that, early in my marriage, my husband hit me. I remember sitting in the therapists office with 2 black eyes telling her how he hadn't meant to do it, I had just made him mad. It was my fault.
I learned that I took his abuse because I had been taught to. I remember my mother telling me to shut the hell up when she hit me or said something mean or she'd really give me something to cry about.
Then my 12 years of therapy changed me. My husband got help and is a different man. It was a lot of hard work but I knew he loved me when he did it. But he said he could see me changing and he knew he better also.
No longer do I take anything off anyone. I'm still mad I ever did. But I had been conditioned to take it or it would get worse by my mother.
People would say and do mean things to me and I would say and do nothing. I had been taught that it would get worse if I stood up for myself. But you have to LEARN the right way to do it, AA. Angering this man is NOT the way to do it. But, if he lands his butt in jail enough and knows there is a restraining order, it may help. It could make it get worse. But it's better then having no safety conditions in place.
Take this seriously, AA. Don't take it lightly. Don't think that, if you haven't seen him in 4 months, you are ok. A dangerous man like this is just biding his time.
It would break my heart if you became a statistic.

[klar]

Autumn, I think Mitzi has hit on a something there. He is not going away. He is going to be stalking you more likely than not waiting for a oppertunity to come up to you and demand that you take this order of protection off of him. He will try to swoon you and tell you that he did not mean anything by all he did and that he is a changed man. DO NOT buy into the head games. These head games are what he is good at and he will try everything he can to convince you that you should give him another try. If you do give in you probally will be a statistic.

I hope that you get that order changed into a no contact order you have plenty of evidence to back you up. I would tell the judge that you do fear for your life. Judging by your posts you do that is why your soo unsure of what he is capable of. Just remember one main thing. YOU are the one in control of your life right now. You did not force him to break into your apartment and you are not responsible for him or any actions he takes. YOU are only responsable and answerable to what you want and what you wish out of life.

I hope all goes well with you and you get your life back in order. I know if I could I would come help you get rid of the jerk.

Klar

[Mitzi]

Klar is right, AA. This man is biding his time. He may send you roses. He may beg forgiveness. He may say he was just adjusting to you and he seeing other people. But he sees you as his, AA. When you go on dates, I bet you my bottom dolar he will be watching from somewhere. Eventually, when you are with another guy, he'll let you see him. It could go into confronting the date.
The reason I'm scared for you is I lost a friend like this many years ago. Her name was was also Angel. She had dated his man for 2 years and then broke up with him. He told her he was going to kill her. But he bided his time.
She had not seen him for almost 2 years. She thought she was safe. Until, one night, he shot her as she came home from a date. And my sweet friend Angel died. It was heartbreaking. I remember tearing my room up out of anger, screaming with tears. I wanted to kill him, I was so angry. Such a beautiful life taken so senselessly. He got life in prison without parole....but Angel is still gone. Even your name bought tears to my eyes when I read your story.
This guy needs a lot of help but he has to want to get it and that's rare.
I know a lot of LEO's have probably contacted you about how to deal with this. Listen to them, Angel. Do everything they say. Remember, he's going to be very sorry, there may be flowers, candy..it's called the honeymoon period. And it lasts for a bit until the danger returns.
Go to a battered women's shelter as soon as possible, Angel. They can help you, if you will let them. You may someday have to stay there a few days if this guy explodes again.
Men like this have minds of evil and they have one thought.....If I can't have you, then nobody can. They know how to keep women like yourself under control with just a look.
This will not be easy, Angel. Not by a long shot. If you don't already have a gun, I know I'd have one by now. And I hate guns.
And if he kicked my door in, I'd use it. I wouldn't hesitate one second.

[AutumnAngel]

Thanks for your support Mitzi. I do have a protective order against him, which prevents him from contacting me. I haven't heard anything from him since Saturday. My brother has been staying with me and I have people checking on me in the morning and at night.

There are so many red flags that led up to this that I should have known it was coming. I was dating that LEO for that while and I can remember Dean calling me and asking me to please not take him to "our special places." I never did but I found out a couple days later that Dean went to one of our places just to see if I was there. He also came over uninvited about a month ago to catch me with this guy at my house. The only difference is he still had a key to my place so I couldn't exactly say he was breaking the law, but I might call that stalking.

I don't understand it though, he was dating another girl at this time too, but he claims he was only doing it to get back at me -- so he wouldn't have to think about me being with someone else.

ewww...this looks scarier when I write it down.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

[Mitzi]

You have done all the right things, AA. But a piece of paper isn't going to help you if he decided to kick the door down again. My guess is he is somewhere, quietly building up steam over what *you* did. People like this work themselves in to rages. He may try to apologize but that's just to get near you. He may think in his mind he could get you back if you would just listen to him.
I never thought I would tell anyone to get a gun, AA. But get a gun, legally of course. Take instructions and classes to learn it. My guess is he will be back. And the gun may be what it takes for him to see his life is in danger also.
I don't have gun. But in your instance, you better believe I would have one....and I would learn to use it correctly.
He's a sick dangerous mind, AA. He will wait until you are alone. Maybe in your apatment, walking to you car....He will take you by surprise to convince you to see him again. Take self defence courses too. You must take every step you can to protect yourself and even then, he may grab you when you least expect it.
We just recently here had a similar episode here. You are such a sweet, kind person, AA. The woman involved in this was a very tough woman. She carried her gun everywhere with her. When she returned at 2 am form work, she sat in her car and looked around. She got out of her car and looked round. And there he was, in a bush, dressed in black. She held him at bay as she dialed 911 to her cell phone. He was standing there frozen when they got there, big brave man, scared to death of her little gun. She was one tough cookie and he knew if he made one move, she'd shoot him.
I don't know what happened to him. But I know she still has that gun. I'm sure she always will.
Please, AA, take this EXTREMELY seriously. He isn't done with you, not by a long shot. You will be most vulnerable when you are alone, even sitting in your car in traffic.
Have you ever watched "The Tracey Thurman Story"? Watch it. I bet you get your gun the next day.

[shooter1201]

Here, he would be charged with 'Domestic Violence, Burglary, Criminal Trespass and Vandalism.'

[AutumnAngel]

I don't think I want to get a gun. I'm scared to death of them. If I ever shot someone, even if it was for a good reason, I don't think I could live with myself. Don't you think a taser gun or something would be just as good?

[Mitzi]

If a taser gun is legal, sure it would be good. I hate guns too, AA. I understand you hating them. Just understand how sick he is.....and that your life is in danger.
Your calmness saved you this time, honey. But now he's even madder.....and he's gonna explode on you because he blames you for his actions.
Just promise you will be careful.....and never stop looking over your shoulder. He will appear when your guard is down.
I begged my friend Angel (short for Angelina) to get a gun but she wouldn't. I think she knew she was going to die. This guy stalked her constantly. She said, "I'm living my life my way. Besides, he'll know I have a gun. He'll shoot me from a distance." And she was shot in the head, walking from her car to her apartment.
I will miss her forever.

[shooter1201]

How about a good, HUNGRY German Shepherd, or similar working dog?

[Mitzi]

Since you live in an apartment, maybe you could borrow a friends big dog at night. Never underestimate how protective a dog can be. My male Yorkie is big for a Yorkie....16 pounds. People who come in the house have to shake our hands or he'd be hanging by their butts.
If he were a really large dog, he'd be dangerous. I watch him. He never trusts anyone but my H, our son and me. He will warm up to people but it takes time. He never takes his eyes off a stranger. My H came in tonight wearing a baseball cap. Bru went after him until he took his hat off. If he were a German Shepard, I know he'd be a K-9:)
But do something for protection, AA. He's not going to run away because he was arrested. Now he's madder.....and you are in more danger.

[klar]

Autumn,

If you are afraid to get a gun I would recommend a nice larger breed of dog. I do not know if they allow it in your apartment you will have to check on that. If they do not you should be able to move to one that does allow it. I would also suggest on moving to another apartment or area to make it harder for him to refind you. If you are in a lease you should be able to get out of it. There should be a clause in there that allows you or the landlord to break the lease if both parties agree. I think having the place broken into and now fearing for your life is a very valid reason for either moving to a different apartment or to a whole new area.

He will probally find you eventually but having a few months or weeks of peace and less fear will be good for you. It gives you enough time to get a new pet and have them become used to you and your family.

Just a suggestion.

Klar

[Mitzi]

I belong to a newsgroup. In this newsgroup is a woman whose husband turned stalker after the divorce. She said that, on average, a sralker is crazy. And on average, their obbssession last 6 to 7 years before they are either succcessful or move on to another victim.
She said she did get a gun. And when he broke into her house, ran like h*** when he heard her turning the cylinder. It's been 5 years now.....but she still carries the gun.

<small>[ 09-01-2002, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]</small>

[HNDLC3]

AA,

Sounds like one of my sister's ex-boyfriends moved to Washington. My sister's ex-BF made a copy of our house key while we were on vacation (he had it so he could feed the dogs). One day, he waited until my mother, my sister, and I left in the morning. He then slipped into the house and confronted my sister in her room. After fighting with him for a few minutes (he was significantly larger than her), she managed to push him out of her room and lock the door. He split when he heard her calling the police. She ended up getting a restraining order that said he could not come anywhere near her or any of us either. AA, make sure that your protective order also forbids him from making contact with your family, as he may use this as a way to get at you.

Oh yeah, he was so thoughtful, he did this to her on her birthday... :rolleyes:

When I was younger and dumber, I felt that if I ever saw this guy on the street, I'd probably be going to jail. Now, I'm indifferent, my sister is married and she's happy. AA, if you have any brothers, uncles, etc., please make sure to keep an eye on them. They may feel the same way, or they may try looking for him. This will aggravate an already bad situation. Don't let this loser ruin your life, or the life of any of your loved ones.

Good luck and stay safe...

[GRACE]

AutumnAngel,

I don't usually post in this section and I was hesitant to post under your topic as only you know what you can and can't deal with.

These folks have given you GREAT advice and are providing good, solid support for you.

The only things I can add are: good luck in whatever you decide, stay safe at all times, and remain vigilant ALWAYS!

[Mitzi]

I feel bad for you, AA, always having to look over your shoulder. But all of us are so concerned about you.
We just want you to not underestimate this guy. I was watching something on TV about this. This woman was young, like you, and and an obssessive boyfriend. She got the restraining order, gun, the whole bit. There were several altercations.
She married someone else, had kids, was ever vigilant. After about 7 years and 2 kid later, she felt safe. I forget how this happened but she found out that whole time, he had been living in an apartment across the stret from her, always watching her and her 2 kids. She almost freaked when she found out because now she had a family to protect. So, up went the restraining order again and she and her family moved.
She said she feels like she will never be rid of him.
So, you see what you are up against here, AA. We are all worried about your safety.

[PelicanDriver]

Hi AA,

All the above advice is good. Please reconsider a firearm and think about the dog option.

Above all, you need to make yourself very hard to find.

- Move immediately
- Get a new, unlisted phone number
- Get a different car (a big one preferably)
- If you belong to a gym, find a different one
- If you don't have a cell phone, get one yesterday!

Consider a new job if that's a feasible option.

Always practice countersurveillance driving. What? When you leave someplace, especially when returning to your new home, always take a different route. Make multiple turns that double back so that you can see if a car is following you. Lightly traveled streets are best for this since it's easier to spot a tail. Make sure you know the area you're in and never, EVER turn down a dead-end street or a cul-de-sac.

Keep us posted.

[Mitzi]

I'm sure all of this advice is very scary to you, AA. But I can't impress upon you how serious your situation is. Like I said, I KNOW I would have a gun by now and I don't like them. But, if he kicked my door down and saw that aimed at him, maybe he would think twice. I know I would have used it too.
I know this is a horrible way to live but, if you value your life, take this as seriously as the rest of us are. We worry about you and this animal.
When you told us about how he left you on the trail, no water, nothing, I knew you were dealing with monster, a woman hater, AA.
I don't know what makes them like this and I don't care. I just want you to be safe.

[Sam]

AA, Let me add my 2 cents. I understand you not wanting a gun, but I would tell EVERYONE that "I went with my Dad and got a gun" make sure evil keneivel knows about it, it might give him second thoughts. The dog idea is a great one if you can take care of a dog, maybe a rottweiler. Changing your name etc as posted above is the best solution but why should you do that. He will change his fixation sometime and he is dangerous to you or the next person, but getting him to change it is what you need to happen. He is a disaster waiting to happen. Do not be a nice gal and talk to him or reply to his emails because he will try to get in touch with you, ignor him totally.

[PelicanDriver]

AA,
We haven't heard any updates from you. Is everything OK?