How would you handle this?

[Blonde Heat]

My sister asked me to watch her son. I was and am working long hours. And inadvertently forgot. She asked on a Monday and i was supposed to watch him on friday. Well she comes in the store on friday a half hour before her interview for a second job. Screaming at me telling me i am a no good piece of crap for forgetting the most important thing to her. ( she used to live with my mom) And now needs the second job to survive since my mom is no longer helping with the bills. Well anyways since this happened she has rarely if ever spoken to me. We have been the best of friends since we were little girls. Well i went to my cousins house tonight and upon sitting there, she shows up to pick up her son. She says nothing to me and then proceeds to sit and chat with them like i'm not there. She gets this phone call froma coworker and then hangs up. My cousin asks her who called and she said it was a girl from work who thinks shes her best friend. My sister then complains at how this girl always calls to dump her problems on her. And makes the off handed comment that she has no best friends and jokingly asks my cousin if he wants to be her best friend. I was so hurt. I feel like she has treated me horribly because i simply forgot. Its been awful. She makes comments in front of people that really hurts my feelings. I have always been there before. I practically raised her son the first 3 years while she worked. I treated him like my own. When it comes time for Christmas, birthday, or any holiday. Even if i am just picking something up for my kids i think of him and get him something too. But now since my mom died somethings changed drastically between us. We have alweays been real close even as adults. I think it might have something to do with the fact that she spent most of my moms illness taking care of her. I think she might be bitter because of it. Its just not like her to be so hateful to me. She spent 2 hours in the same room with me and not once did she say happy birthday or hi or anything. But the thing that hurts the most is the comment about not having a best friend. I actually got in my truck and cried. I know she did it to be mean. And i told my cousin that its ok she said it ,that if its what she needs to make her feel better then i'l let het get away with it. But i don't know what to do. Should i just brush it off and act like it didn't hurt me. I am beginning to believe that i invite this kind of treatment from people. Because i am not a vindictive kind of person and just shrug things like that off. What would you do?

I am mad that she had a house key and could have easily let herself in and had my 15 year old daughter watch him for the hour i had left on my shift. She did use her all week while she worked to babysit. I just don't understand why she didn't take half the responsibility for the mess up when she didn't even call me one time to remind me. :(

[InSane1]

uggg. bummer... I know how it must hurt.. I have a sister with the same qualities :(.. although... you need to let it roll and kill her with kindness... then she wont know WTF... lol...

Good luck hon.

[SpecOpsWarrior]

I'm no Dr. Drew, hell I hated psych 101, but let me take a stab at this anyway.

It sounds to me like their are alot of underlying issues here, and I seriously doubt that all this was over baby sitting.

My suggestion, you two need to sit down and have a long heart to heart talk, and try to find out what is really bothering her.

Good luck, and I hope you try to work things out with her.

Oh and by the way, I usually charge for this type of consultation you know! :)

[JKT]

ftrphxcop, I went through something similar with my brother wehn our father died. Since he lives 500 miles away, we talked some, and time took care of the rest.

SpecOps has the right idea, since you live fairly close.

If she doesn't want to talk right now, give it a little time.

[Snoopy1]

First, it is good that you aren't vindictive. That "get even" attitude sometimes brings temporary satisfaction but comes back to haunt everyone when time passes and tempers cool and things are in a better perspective.

I agree there is more to this than just babysitting. Could she have harbored a secret resentment because she was around your mother so much, even though your mother was helping her with her bills? Sick people can be very difficult to live with sometimes. Before my mother died several years ago it seemed she was constantly describing all her aches and pains and worrying about how much worse she would get. I remember coming home from work in a good mood but the minute I walked in the door she would begin about all the things that had gone wrong that day. A few minutes of listening to that and I was exhausted. It sounds stupid, but that's the way she affected me. I'm sure she had no clue what it was doing to me.

I don't know how recently the babysitting incident occurred, but I doubt it's too late to remedy the situation. I would give her a couple of weeks to calm down and then try having an honest discussion with her to find out what her real problem is. Perhaps there is something going on that you don't know about.

Whatever you decide, don't sit around worrying about it. Good luck.