Anyone Know How To Remove A Thorn.

[Branden Whitney]

Guess who knows my career choice. And lucky me gets to deal with him telling me how I am not good enough for police work. :mad:

Let me explain what happened. My mother and him are on the phone, I wasnt around but I was told what happened, and she was telling him how proud she was at my school work, which she knows is because of my career choice. Anyhow, she is telling him this and then it slips out what I was going into.

BOOM! He comes out with how I wont ever make it to the academy because I am flat footed. :rolleyes:

My mother, who really wants me to go into L.E. begins defending me, and how he better not start on what I wont be able to do just to get me to not go into the field. But now I get to deal with him telling me how I will never make it because I am not good enough. That is what I get to look forward to now every time he gets the chance. But he will soon figure out I have no intention of giving up that easy.

[Mike Tx]

I thought being a "flatfoot" was a requirement? :D

[adaam000]

hey Branden,

i would say, simply use his negativity as means to push yourself that much more.
Basically, prove him wrong!
He seems to enjoy to make you feel like shi*t, so give him a taste of his own medicine.
If you know you can do it, you will. If I have gained anything from researcing LE, and learning from this forum, it is that. Plain and simple. You got a couple years, so get ready!

Take care,
Adam

[klar]

YEs that is great advice from adam. Use his negativity to prove to him that you are better than him and that you are going to do what you want with your life and there is nothing especialy him that is gonna stand in your way. It is you and you alone who is gonna make the ultimate decision on what you want out of life and what your going to do to get there. Do not let anyone take your dreams away from you for if you do your only gonna be hurting yourself.

Klar

[Don]

Brandon, FWIW I am also flat footed. He is full of crap. Sorry to talk about your dad that way, but it is true.

Adam has the right idea.

[Branden Whitney]

Sorry to talk about your dad that way, but it is true.

If you knew my father, you would not feel sorry for saying that. I have heard/said much worse about him. :)

Thank you all. I am most likely irritating you all with "My father" this and "My father" that. But, if I were to say half the stuff I have on some of my other forums, I would be flamed something serious. Not that that is anything new, but it gets irritating after awhile.

Don, thank you for letting me know. That has been one of the major fears of mine that because of that I would fail at L.E. Hopefully, I wont fail. But only time will tell.

Thank you all for your sound advice. :)

[ 07-23-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[ 07-24-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[Mitzi]

Branden, Don is even flat headed and he's a wonderful LEO :) Seriously, pursue your dreams. YOU know you want to be a LEO and you will be.
Let him wallow in his own pitiful world. Don't let him tear yours down.

[shorty]

Brandon, you are not irratating any of us about talking about your problems, after we are cops, that's what we do is listen to people! You will learn when you get into law enforcement that you will have more roles than just "cop", you will be a counselor, a pschyatrist, a doctor, a friend, an enemy, a mechanic (this for all of those times you've pushed a car out of the road and then been asked to fix it!) and sometimes even a lawyer...because everybody is going to ask you legal questions of all sorts! :D
Anyway, to address your post, Brandon I have been where you are. I had an abusive father. Mine was physically and mentally abusive. he used to beat us with a piece of a 2X4. So if anyone can relate to you...I can. The thing I found that helped me most is just to cut off any contact with him. Anytime he would call he would be drunk and cussing me and telling me I was a worthless piece of s*it and that I was going to be just like him one day - a failure. Well, looking back I am glad he said those things. It made my will stronger to not be like he is. Here I am (somewhat successful ;) ) I graduated high school and college and have a degree in Criminal Justice that no matter what - no one can ever take away from me... not even my father. I am married and have a son that my father has never even seen and I don't even know if he knows my son exists. But, my mother remarried when I was 18 to a man that has been more of a father to me in 10 years than my "real" father has ever been. I haven't talked to my real father in 7 years and my life has been peaceful and alright. Incidently, this will make you stronger believe it or not. I have vowed to never treat my son the way I was treated and to this day I will not touch a beer. My son deserves better, I deserve better and YOU deserve better. I used to think I had to have "my dad" and he had to be a part of my life. Guess what? I was wrong. You are having to grow up way to fast and have to much put on you for your age (sleeping on the couch to guard the door). I know you said you needed his money, but there are people that will help you (churches, public agencies). Brandon, money isn't everything especially if you can enjoy it from dying from a stress related illness. Growing up, sometimes we didn't even have any food, I have skipped many meals in my day...but I survived and you sound strong enough you will too. Keep us informed and good luck!

[Blonde Heat]

Just go for it. Who cares what your dad thinks. I have taken so much slack from family members about the LE job that it rolls off my back now. i just laugh at thier stupid comments. And i have heard some major crap talkin from everyone but one person in my family.

[Snoopy1]

My father was not abusive but we were never close. He just couldn't seem to show any real affection. Perhaps it was because I was a girl and he just didn't understand me. He was no Bill Cosby, John Walton or Charles Ingalls, or any of those other perfect fathers on TV, but he was no villain either. I felt a lot of resentment and anger because of some of the strange attitudes he had. Looking back on it now at age 69, I understand him a little better.

As to that other kind of father, I loved Shorty's advice. It is almost like they are trying to make themselves feel important by running down someone else who has better goals than they had and the determination to achieve them. If they won't accept you the way you are it's better to avoid them as much as possible and get on with our lives.

[ 07-24-2002: Message edited by: Snoopy1 ]

[shorty]

Okay Brandon, it's been two days since we have heard from you...You need to post something so we know you are okay even if it's just a hello.

[Branden Whitney]

Sorry about that. I have been busy the past few days. And I did get on last night but while I was in the middle of posting something my father knocked me off by calling several times. Didnt mean to worry anyone, didnt think anyone would even notice to tell you the truth.

I must say Shorty, though my father never got as bad as your father, we have gotten in some very heated fist fights before. Most the times they were broke up by other members of our family.

But thank you all for the support you have given. I havent seen him this week which has been rather nice. But I know it wont last long, after all, sometime early next month we have to go to the zoo with him. Lets just hope that we dont get arrested for taking a ape out of its cage and walking with him. :)

But I am on my last legs with him, he has began the "wake up calls" where he calls at about eight in the morning and justs lets it ring. Since on a normal day we dont get to bed until real late that can get irritating. What could I do to stop this? Remind you, he seems to have a hard time understanding that I, yes me, am the "man" of this house. Not him, and until he learns that he will just keep this stuff up.

I must say it is great to be back and posting on here, even after two days it seems like two months. And I am glad my whining isnt bothering you guys.

As always I am trying to be civil with the maggot with legs, so please wish me luck.

Shorty, I may PM you soon. Just so you know before hand. :)

[ 07-26-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[shorty]

Hey Branden,
About the getting knocked off the internet, I have a feature with my phone service called *70. It makes a busy signal if you want to talk on the phone without the other line "beeping" in. My internet automatically dials *70 before it dials the internet number. You might want to look into that. Getting on the internet is my little "escape" and the last thing I want is some telemarketer calling in :p !
About your dad calling at inconvienant times, I guess you could block his number at night and then unblock it in the mornings (provided you want him calling at all, sounds like I would block it permanently). Talk to your mom about these features and see if you can access them. I have "complete choice" through BellSouth and it gives me all of these options plus some. It doesn't cost much either.
The thing about the zoo, well...you could always get a "stomach ache" if you don't want to go. Worked for me. My parents divorced when I was 6 yo and I was so scared to go away with him for a visit that (the 2 times he did call) I would get so nervous that I would start throwing up!
You are welcome to PM me, but you've got to tell me how to read it. I am not the computer genious I often portray! :D

[Branden Whitney]

I have heard of things like that. But my sister really wants to get a cable connection for this computer. But I will keep those systems in mind. :)

Blocking his number would do one thing. Make him come over without telling anyone. Which he pulled off yesterday. I hate it when he does that!

About acting ill. LOL I am a horrible liar. I start laughing so hard my stomach hurts for real. :)

And about the PM's. Here is what you do, go into your profile (top of the page), and scroll down. You should see a Private Message area where you can read it. If you dont see it, you did something wrong, but even a genius like yourself makes mistakes. :p There you can send, read, or reply to PM's sent to you. And depending on what you check when you signed up, there is also a way to get an email notice that you have a private message to read. :) Hope that helps. ;) :D

[Don]

OK, I've got a question for you two. (Shorty and Brandon that is.) You are talking about "getting knocked off the internet" when somebody calls you. What is with that?

When I'm on line, if someone trys to call, they just get a busy signal, and I go right on with what I'm doing, without even knowing that someone has called. I've never heard of an incoming call knocking someone off line before. :confused:

[Branden Whitney]

It is easy to explain. Our phone line is cut so we have the internet and the phone on the same line. When you have this, if someone calls, it knocks you off. But with my computer you must let it ring for several minutes so if I get knocked off it is because someone wanted to just knock me off.

Did you have your phone line split? If you did it should do the same thing.

[ 07-28-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[Snoopy1]

My connections were just the opposite. If someone called me they got a busy signal.

I got tired of hearing my daughters saying they tried to call me and couldn't get through so I bought a gadget to attach to the computer nearest the phone. Now when anyone calls my computer shuts down and the phone rings. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. Sort of depends on who's calling.

Have you tried being blunt and telling him to just butt out? If you don't want to go to the zoo, just don't go. Sometimes that's the only way to get a point across, and sometimes even that doesn't work.


After I connected the gadget I discovered that Verizon offers the same kind of service. Call waiting is necessary.

[ 07-28-2002: Message edited by: Snoopy1 ]

[shorty]

To Don,
Okay here's what I meant. When I first got the internet and connected I did not program *70 into my dial up. I have the same line for my phone and internet. So anytime somone would call it would come through on my call waiting - just as it would if I were talking on the other line. This is when I would get kicked off the internet. So I went under options I think and added the *70 feature where the registration asks you "do you have call waiting". Now anyone that calls when I am online gets the busy signal. Your internet provider might automatically do that for you or you might not have call waiting, I don't know. Does this answer your question? Remember, I am not the computer genious I often portray, I might not be using the computer terms you are used to :D .

Hey Branden, will your mother make you go to the zoo or will she let you decide?

[Don]

OK, thanks for the info. I've never bothered to get call waiting, and yes my computer modum is on my only phone line. I didn't realize this *70 thing was available. Frankly, I can't imagine having it connected. First time I got kicked off to answer a sales call I'd go ballistic. :mad: :D