Family Troubles. At Night.

[Branden Whitney]

I want an honest answer, I am curious if this is breaking the law. But I think it is.

Just so you know before I start, my parents are divorced. We moved about three years ago to where we live now. A good thirty mile drive from father. Who is a big thorn in my side. That being said...

About a week ago, he came over, and began what he normally does, start picking apart everything wrong with are house, yard, car, whatever he could find. We are lucky are house keeps any type of order at all, for alot of reasons, 5 dogs, 3 cats, 1 turtle. :) They are not easy to please and keep the house looking great 24/7. They like their things on the floor, and we figure, it is their house aswell. So we let there toys stay on the ground most of the time. Unless we have guests over.

Anyhow, today he was complaining to be sick. Though it was very evident that slamming us and treating our dogs like dirt (only the youngest one) made him feel better. Well, my mother gave him some vitamins, minerals, or whatever (her having a record of nursing and working at GNC) to make him feel better, simply because she is that type of person. And after slamming the dog toys (in one corner of the room) she finally asked him to leave. So, part one of the day was over. He goes home, from the looks of it goes to bed, like my mother told him to do. And he never ignores Mommy. :rolleyes: Anyhow, after a decent day, after he left. I went to bed in the comfy chair in the living room (I do that for several reasons, 1: It is too comfy for words, get passed the kinked neck and the hurting back and you have a nice chair. :) 2: Because last year around Christmas time we had someone break into are shed, me being the man of the house find it my personal job to watch the door. I do that on my own free will, just so you know), at four in the morning, guess who is POUNDING on our door. My sister wakes me up, and I look through a window to see who it is, guess who must be filling better. He was the only one, my German Shepard, always on guard, gets up to hear the pounding, her hair on her back is standing straight up, she was ready to not just attack, but kill.

All this do you want to know what he wanted to say? He yelled at my sister (all out screaming at about 4:20 in the morning) to roll up her car windows because there was a 42% chance of rain. :mad: :rolleyes:


Was this stalking? I know disturbing the peace. What do y'all have to say about this?

[ 07-11-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[dkiefner]

4:20 huh?

Call the police.

[Branden Whitney]

Originally posted by dkiefner:
<STRONG>4:20 huh?

Call the police.</STRONG>


I wish we could, but until my mother's job is on its feet we need his money. :(

[klar]

It sounds like your father is out to cause trouble. If he has a legitamate reason to come over that is fine as long as he is invited. If he is just showing up at all hours of the day night or when ever then you can have the police come and escort him off your property. IF he does it again I would have the police escort him off the property again and give him a no tresspassing warning. IF he comes back you can have him arrested for criminal tresspassing. You can also talk to a lawyer and have him served with a no contact order to stay sooo many feet off the property. This will save your family from having to deal with his abusive attitude towards your household and pets.

I think he is having trouble letting your mom go and still wants to be part of all of your lives and is causing more harm now than good.

Klar

[Fastie]

Originally posted by Branden Whitney:
<STRONG>All this do you want to know what he wanted to say? He yelled at my sister (all out screaming at about 4:20 in the morning) to roll up her car windows because there was a 42% chance of rain. :mad: :rolleyes: </STRONG>

He might be a bit crazy !!! :eek: Did he see the windows open when he was there originally or are you saying he just "happened" to be in the area at 420 and noticed the windows open? For your sanity, I hope he doesn't continue to do this...

a restraining order could help, also as far as the money goes, its likely there was some sort of legal agreement when the divorce took place. Unless he is doing more than is required, even if you don't allow him over, he still has to pay... obviously, I'm sure you all don't want to exclude him from your lives completely and that's why you're being so nice about all of this. Also if he chooses not to help financially, it could take time for the courts to force him.

In the same situation, I might've called the police and said "somebody is pounding on my door, I don't know who it is".... maybe a little visit from the men in blue might open his eyes a little, if not, well there's always the men in white coats...

[Branden Whitney]

He might be a bit crazy !!! Did he see the windows open when he was there originally or are you saying he just "happened" to be in the area at 420 and noticed the windows open?

My theory is he saw they were open while here during the first part of the day. And drove up just to be a pain. And yes, I do think he has one less then a baker's dozen. For many reasons.

a restraining order could help, also as far as the money goes, its likely there was some sort of legal agreement when the divorce took place. Unless he is doing more than is required, even if you don't allow him over, he still has to pay

See, he pays us right now 500 a month. That is with the 350 he MUST pay for my child support. This is only until my mothers job is up and running. Even though he is always holding it over are heads. Sometimes even using it as a threat.

obviously, I'm sure you all don't want to exclude him from your lives completely

Personally I think we do. We only need his money and that is really the only reason I try to be nice to him anymore. But I really would like it if we got rid of him. I am tired of his crap, more and more, and my father and I have both gotten physical before.

well there's always the men in white coats...

That would work. They are better armed when it comes to people like him. But for some reason he seems VERY scared of the police. He sees one in the mall he begins to pannic, which isnt a good sign.

be part of all of your lives

I am sure he only wants to be in my Mothers life.

It sounds like your father is out to cause trouble.

He normally is.

[ 07-11-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[Mitzi]

Your father is a very sick man, Branden and sounds like he could be dangerous in given situations.
I don't know how old you are but you should not be having to be your fathers "father". Y'all need to get up on your feet and not be dependent on him for any reason whatsoever.
This sounds like the cycle of abuse. Mother needs money from abusive husband who continues to rule and be abusive because of that.
Has your Mother ever gone to a battered woman's shelter to get advice? It doesn't matter if he doesn't hit any of you, he is emotionally and verbally abusive. He should not be allowed to walk in and out of your lives whenever he pleases.
Your Mother should be stronger and not allow you to have to handle this very serious problem.
Maybe calling the police on him once would stop the problem. Then again, it could make it worse.
You and your family are being abused. Go to a shelter and find out what your rights are. If he withholds alimony and child support, the shelter may be able to help your mother get what he won't pay. But it's your Mother that has to rid herself from him financially. Even then, she will have to be very strong to get him out of your lives.
You all are living your lives under seige and fear. No one should have to live that way. These shelters CAN help. Go talk to one and make your Mother go with her. She has to break the cycle of abuse.

[Joseph]

Mitzi gots it pegged here. He needs to be served with a restraning order to stop[ the mental and threating abuse. The court can set times for him to visit if they see fit or visit you by a third parties house so he is not tracking through the family house at all hours. Their are weather men on TV that your sister can watch to make sure her windows are up in case of rain. A knock on the door is not the proper time to inform someone to roll up there windows. A phone call could have accomplished the same results. A police escort off the property seems approiate. He is obligated to pay child support no matter what action you take with the police or court to stop his emotions. Getting the German Shepard to kill him is not the way to handle it. Calling the police is the way to go.

[Branden Whitney]

One reason my family has not placed a restraining order on him is because they are afraid that I will have to spend several days, or one with him at his place. My father and myself both have bad tempers, but unlike him I am trying to handle mine more.

I don't know how old you are but you should not be having to be your fathers "father".

14

It doesn't matter if he doesn't hit any of you, he is emotionally and verbally abusive.

He has physically abused my sister before, and me (but thats not important), kicking her, hitting her, and so on. But now that I am his size he should think first.

etting the German Shepard to kill him is not the way to handle it.

I had cooled her down before she could do anything. But that is why she is our watch dog.

As far as him being dangerous. I know he is. He has killed alot of people. He is one of those Veitnam Veterans that came out of the war totally messed up. Unlike most people I have met who were in the war, it almost seems he enjoyed it.

[klar]

If in fact he is a war vet you can seek some help for him through the VA system. You or anyone else in your family should not be in fear of him and you should not be forced to go into his house at some later point. Being 14 gives you some rights to go in front of a judge and tell that judge that you fear he will do something to you and thus you do not want to be in his house without supervision. Having documented proof of the times he has came over to harrass you and the others in your moms household plus any documentation of other times away from the house should asist getting it so that you do not have to live in fear. You may want to contact one of the local Veterans offices in your area and they can get you in contact with the right people who can assist you in getting your father the help he needs.

Klar

[AutumnAngel]

Branden this is just bad. If your mom put a restraining order on him why would you have to be with him? Most states say over the age of 13 the kid can decide which parent they want to stay with. Please encourage your mom to put an end to this soon. Abuse like this affects people for the rest of their life sometimes. Even if you put a restraining order on him how could he get out of paying support etc.?? It's still court ordered.

Please stay safe.

[Branden Whitney]

Autumn, none of us knew that if we placed a restraining order that I would not have to stay with him. But that is very good news.

As far as the child support, he has said he could just pick up and leave the state. And it would be that big of a deal for him. He says to my mother that if she ever starts dating he is out of here. But I am not too worried about the child support as I am something else. His lack of human emotion and, he thoughts of retaliation against my sister and myself...

Let me explain further, he has always felt it was the doing of my sister that caused his "perfect" life to go down the drain. Even though she was around fourteen when our parents divorced. It has never been his fault. And he has been discussing about him and my mother getting back together. :rolleyes: But I know that will never happen. But from the looks of it he wont be alive much longer.

And since I am growing older and getting bigger I am more of a threat to his manhood, leaving me in the same boat. That is one reason why I intend to become a sworn police officer before anyone tells him what I want to do for a living.

I just want him to go away and leave us alone once in awhile. But since I saw him today I am not in the best of moods. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

[ 07-20-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[lone ranger]

Branden,

Sound like the gang here has given you some good advice.

It also sounds like you're going to have to grow up fast.

Keep us posted.