ftr's problem

[Blonde Heat]

Ok, I have been working 2 jobs, working my butt off to make sure i am in shape for the academy, dealing with the fact my mom is dying, losing my pet, and dealing with my jerk husband who hid the congrats letter i was waiting for in the mail. I am wondering if i will crash and burn in the next couple of days. I seriously need some down time but upon taking the Manager job and the daily stress is starting to catch up. Any suggestions to how i can calm down before i explode.

My mom slipped into a light coma in the hospital today and i am afraid she will not wake up. I think the cancer has finally gotten the best of her. Has anyone ever had a family member with cancer that has has no major drugs in thier system go down like this before? I tried everything to wake her up but she won't. Th doctors and nurses are mystified because the last dose of demoral was given more than 24 hours ago and other than high blood pressure and an infection in her arm and hand from the IV, she is being given nothing but antibiotics, diabetes meds, blood pressure meds, and a bag of fluid to keep her hydrated. :confused: :(

[jellybean40]

If the cancer is wide-spread, that alone could weaken her body like that. my mother has months to live, her cancer has spread also. she sleeps most of the day and night. she just got a prescription for Darvon but has not needed to take any yet. i know what youre going thru, altho the rest of my stresses arent the same as yours, i certainly have them.

as others have said, take one day at a time, and make time for yourself, to have fun and laugh and totally relax. when i had as many things as you going on years back, i did take Xanax for a while and it really helped.

also prioritizing is good. actually writing down the things you're most worried about, and deciding if you can do anything about them right now. it helps get the worry out of your mind for a while. we were most worried about mom being afraid, and we all talked about it, including her. dont hold it in. i'm not an expert but i know what has been working for us.

[InSane1]

Sorry to hear about your mom FTR. I'll say a prayer.

I cant beelive this whole hid the letter thing. He hid it? :( grrrrr..... sounds like my ol man.

I sure hope things get better soon.

[Don]

ftr, I really don't have any advice for you, but I want you to know that my hopes and prayers are with you. :(

[CinaC]

I'll have both of you in my thoughts, FTR.

[SGT Dave]

ftr-

check your PM

[Piper]

Ftr,

I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. *warm hugs*

[TexReserve]

Ftr,

Will keep you and yours in my prayers. God Bless.
Tex

[Blonde Heat]

Thanks everyone. We had to sign the paperwork tonight to put her into a nursing facility because its all about pain managemnet now. Her CatScan came back and in one month the cancer has spread so bad its affecting her brain. She did wake up ,I think. :confused: She has been seeing people who died years ago. And she called me mom all day. Once or twice she knew it was me. :( They said she can pass on anywhere from today to one month. But Hospice is going to be the best for her. She never asks for anything, not even pain medicine. Its like she is there some moments and not at all other moments. :confused:

[Fastie]

Ftr,

I don't know what to say. :( There really isn't anything I can say which will make things better. I know what you're going through. My mom passed away many years ago and some of the things you said about your mom, being there sometimes, talking to people who aren't there etc. is so familar to me. You'll get through this and you'll never have to question yourself about whether or not you could've done more. You're there for her and I'm sure that means a lot to her even if she doesn't/can't say it.

As far as your job goes, you don't need to be super woman, you're not going to be working there too much longer so there is no need to be the perfect performer. I'm not saying to get yourself fired or anything, just don't stress on it too much.

The husband thing is the toughest. I've read what you've written about him not being happy with you being a cop, telling you he didn't think you could do it and now this hiding the letter. I don't know him so I really can't say much, I just don't get a warm fuzzy feeling about the situation. I hope it all works out for you, you shouldn't have to choose between your marriage and being a cop. Unless he has some really GOOD reason why he's against it, I think he should be supportive. Keep us posted... you're in my thoughts and prayers. :)

[Don]

I know that this has got to be terribly hard on you. This, along with everything else. Wish there was somthing I could do to help you, but the reality of it is that your help is going to have to come from within, and from a higher source than either of us. Via con Dios!

[Blonde Heat]

Thanks again for the encouragement. It really helps. My contacts had salt stains i cried so much today. I wonder where the stamina to keep going comes from? Cause by rights i should of said to hell with it all along time ago. It sucks to be ambitious and determined.

On a lighter note, My friend graduated the academy friday night and by god did i feel jealous. I cant wait for my turn. :)

[Chase]

Good luck in the academy. Sounds like you will be in for a tough time. The people in my academy that had the toughest time were those with non-supportive spouses. It's very difficult to deal with the stress of the academy, and then go home to someone who doesn't understand and/or support what you are doing.

[Joseph]

My prayers and I'm sure everyone else's is with you at your moment of despair. :(

[wonderwoman]

Take care of yourself ftr. Sounds like you will need all the strength you have to get you through. Remember to lean on others where you can.

[Mitzi]

I am so sorry you are going through all this, ftr. Please remember to take care of yourself. Drink a lot of water and try to get some rest.
I have been with my cousin who has lung and liver cancer a lot. She is only 48. She grew up with my family, so we are pretty close. She just started her chemo and has been pretty sick but has a wonderful attitude about it all.
I sure am tired of seing the inside of hospitals, what with my son being sick and now this. But, God works in mysterious ways. I will send prayers for your Mother and many hugs your way.