My baby (dog) is gone

[Blonde Heat]

:( My sweet puppy is gone. I had to have my sister take her to put her down this morning and it was like one of my children dying. It just plain sucked and i am so heartbroken. My daughter recieved her when she was four years old as a hearing ear dog and she was the best thing that happened to our family. My kids are teenagers now and i can still remember when we first got her and they thought she was a horse and tried to ride her. Rose actually used to let the kids ride her too. Our house was never robbed and no one ever bothered us when she lived here. I loved that dog. She came up missing one time and my daughter cried for days. (she was gone six) she used to take herslf for walks and hop our six foot fence to do so. Well one day she didn't come home and was just gone. We put up flyers and everything. Searched to all hours of the night. Finally i could not take my daughters crying and went on the local news to beg for someone to return her. I said no questions asked, just release her she knows her way home. The next day she showed up on our doorstep weighing in 25lbs ligter and no identification. Harness coller everything was gone off her. But she came back. Our family was so happy and we had a block wall put up to keep her in from now on, Where she lived the next 10 years with us. And now she is gone. ( crying) She got cancer and could barely walk and peed on herslf in the end and i could not do anything for her. I finally had to make a decision and i chose to release her from her pain. :( Our house will never be the same. We had her cremated and put in a box with her picture and a plaque on the front. I really want to take her ashes to Louisiana and bury her at my uncles home. Its beautiful and wide open spaces. I know she would really love to run those acres if she could. (crying)

[Don]

Oh I do know EXACTLY what you are going through with this. Everytime I have had to do this, I've had to ask myself if I really wanted to get another.

But the fact is that they GIVE everything and ask so little in return. Only true dog lovers can know what you are going through right now.

[InSane1]

I feel your pain hon. :(

*hugs*

[Mitzi]

My heart is breaking for you. All of my animals have been like my children. I lost my Missy when she was 16 and I thought my heart break. But, you did the best thing you could do for her, honey.
Below is a poem that helps me a lot when I think of my Missy and my Bubba.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...

[ 04-19-2002: Message edited by: Mitzi ]

[wonderwoman]

Gee ftrphxcop, in one thread I am congratulating you and another I am crying with you! :( I am sorry to hear about your dog. I understand full well what you are feeling. Take care.

[Mitzi]

It does leave such a void when they are gone. Whenever I lose a treasured animal, I always SWEAR I will never get another one because it hurts so much. But, here I sit, with 2 little Yorkies and a deaf cat.
When Missy died, it took me awhile. But, I realized that there are SO many others out there that need homes.
You will know when you are ready. Your heart will tell you. Until then, remember the fun and the love your baby dog gave you. You won't ever stop missing her but you will someday have a new pet, knwoing you are helping that one like you did this one.
You did the best thing an owner can do for their beloved pets.....You took away her pain.

[jellybean40]

I also know exactly how you feel. i might have shared my story before about my 16 year old cocker spaniel, my baby. she developed heart disease and also was incontinant, and i had her put to sleep about 5 years ago. she really was my baby and my only child LOL. she went everywhere with me. the pain of her loss was an actual ACHE that my ex-boyfriend and i both shared, crying for days. just thinking about how much we would miss her was the worst. we knew she would eventually be gone, but we just wanted to hold her and pet her again.

i swore i'd never get another dog, but i did two years ago. there will never be another like my first little girl, but i love this baby too. i have a grave here in my yard for my cocker spaniel, with a wooden platform next to it where a cement angel watches over her. i planted daisys all around it and they come up every year.

its true, only a real dog lover can understand the hurt. sometimes that makes it worse, because people may say it was "just a dog." but of course we know better. ;)

here is the Rainbow Bridge poem you can find in alot of sites on-line. i copied it for here in case you didnt feel like looking around for it.

such happiness and sadness at the same time in your life, i guess that IS a lesson in life. things will get better and time will eventually heal.
***************************

[Fastie]

Ftr,
I feel for you. (Hugging my dog and crying with you)...There is no better love in the world than that we receive from our dogs. It seems so unfair their lives are so short compared to ours. I liked JB's rainbow bridge. Congrats on your new career !! I'm glad you made it !! :(

[Blonde Heat]

Thanks Everyone, Last night i realized its harder to lose a pet then a human family member. The animal always loves you know matter what. You never have to worry about them not being there when you need them most. They never back stab you or steal your spouse. You never have to sit in your house for days and wait for them to call and see if your still breathing. And many other things you have to stress over with human family members. I will miss her alot. I just keep thinking i could of done something more for her. Paid a little more attention, bought her more bones, Or brushed her hair a little more. :( I can't get over the fact that if i just got her the very expensive surgery, She might of lived alot longer. I just want to go to the pet cemetary and hold her and tell her how much i loved her and that my gun for the academy does not mean more then her. ( The money i was saving for my gun could of been used for her cancer surgery.) The vet wanted so much money just to do surgery and i just did not want to give it to them. Just the surgery was $945 and i just kept thinking when you cut on cancer it spreads and i was going to end up with no dog , no gun, and no money. So i just chose to put her down instead of taking a chance they might cure her. Thats why i have been feeling so guilty. :(

[KCadet]

I understand completely. I have a dog and two cats. I had to put one of my other cats down about 1 1/2 yrs ago. He had cancer and no one realized it until it was too late. I came home from school (I was 16) and had to make the call on whether or not I wanted to "give up" on him. He was almost 8 yrs old. I do agree about them loving unconditionally (although w/cats there seem to be certain terms LOL!), unlike humans. Well, just know that you will always find support and condolences from those you love. :)

[Mitzi]

Try not to feel guilty, honey. But, I know the feeling. My Missy was 16 and was losing control of her bowels. I knew I had to do this quick and I did. I took her over to the vets and hugged her, told her I loved her and left.....and cried in my car for an hour.
I couldn't go back with her because I had the wrong idea on how they put them to sleep. I thought they just gave them a shot and they fell over. I learned, too late, it's not that way. It's done very peacefully and respectfully. I fought guilt over not being the one to hold her when she left this world.
When I got home, I was inconsolable. My husband was so sweet to me. I had not told him or our son I was going to do this. She was my dog and, while they loved her, I was the one incredibly attached.
I told my husband, "I should not have done this. She was eating good and was in good health otherwise". He reminded me that was not true. She was getting cataracts and such bad arthritis in her hips, it was hard to watch her heave herself up when I called her to me. She had also lost her hearing.
You will see, as time goes on, you made the right choice. The money may have bought her more time but the outcome would have been inevitable. The amount of money the vet wanted was just too much...You had to think of yourself and your family. And you put Rose out of pain. In the end, she knew you were taking care of her. Her pain is gone, because of you.
Find peace in that knowledge.

[jellybean40]

i didnt see you put the poem on too, Mitzi. :) guess we think alike.

i had guilt for a long time, and now i do not. i know how she was living (existing) and its not meant to be that way. she was not herself anymore. a good friend at work once told me, you can look in your dog's eyes and know when it's time. i really believe that.

[Mitzi]

The thing that hurts me most is that I know she knew what I planned on doing the next morning. Her eyes followed me everywhere. I even snipped a bit of fur off a furry foot to remember her by. She seemed more alert then usual. It bothers me that she saw my change in behavior and that she knew. I slept beside her on the floor the whole night before. I know she sensed it.

[Jim Burnes]

I had to say goodby to my old gray friend.
With the world so full of important things,
Why is it my world now slows, for some old silver head, now free of pain?


I put away my old friends thoughts, not going to chance this hurt again.
Watching young ones leaping too fast into old ones, too much trouble, too much hurt.


Yes, it's goodby to my slow walking friend but I'v learned not to leave my heart so open to such ones, so good for me too.
No more trouble, no more fuss.
My days are mine now, I swear never again.


So why do I listen at my screendoor?
Why not throw out the bowls and collars?
Just an old dog, you know. Not much to 'em.
Just a tough cat, you know. Ordinary.


I had to say goodby to my old gray friend.
With the world so full of important things,
why is it my world now slows, for some old silver head, now free of pain?


:( Jim Burnes

[BlueBlood]

I have never experienced losing a dog, but my times comming. Ive had my cocker spanial for 12 years and he is getting old. I grew up with him so he is like a brother and friend to me. He follows me around, sleeps in my bed. He's been around through some tuff times. I dont know what ill do when he passes. Im just going to enjoy his presense while he is here.

[ 04-22-2002: Message edited by: BlueBlood ]

[CopInNY]

I am a dog lover. I have three dogs, and this coming June, I will be getting my fourth. Right now, I have a 14 year old cocker spaniel that I have had since I was 14 years old. His name is Mardi. I think he is on his way out. He is completely deaf, and can only see out of one eye. He also has athritis in all his legs. He sleeps with me every night. Although no longer able to jump onto the bed, he curls up next to it so that I can reach down and pet him. He has slept with me every single night since Ive had him, except when I was out of town.

I have a black labrador retriever named Jack. Hes 2 years old. I found him roaming the streets one day. Put an add in the paper, no response, so I kept him. He is a great dog, and a good friend.

Next up, is the baby of the three. Rex. Hes my purebred yellow labrador retriever. He is a wacky dog to say the least. I love all three of my dogs more than anything. This summer, I am getting another purebred lab from the same mother who gave birth to Rex. Hopefully, there will be some chocolate males in this litter because that is what I am looking for. Then I will have a lab in each color. :D

I think there are two kinds of people who like dogs. Dog LOVERS, who are people like some of you folks, and me, and dog LIKERS. The latter are people who get a dog to be trendy or because its the common thing to do. Dog LOVERS care about their animals immensely. I take 2 and three hour trips with my labs just so they can play in the surf out at Montauk Point at the very eastern tip of long islands south fork. i walk them at the local soccer fields, I bathe them, and feed them only the best dogfood. Many people have asked me why I treatthem so special. These people, unlike us, have no idea what it's like to have such a strong bond with an animal.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, ftrphxcop. Time will heal, and your memories and photos of your animal will give you nothing short of glorious memories. Some people say they will never get another dog after such a great one passes on, but I think after time, it would be a good idea. Dogs are great friends, they always cheer you up, they follow you around the house or yard, and they never ask for anything more than the toss of a ball or a pat on the head, or a rub on the tummy. When you're being thanked by a warm, wet tongue, or a cuddle in bed of an animal that you know would stand by your side no matter what, you'll know just how special these relationships with our dogs are. :)

[Piper]

ftr,

I'm am so sorry for your loss.

I know what you mean when you say your pup was like a child, mine are too(I'll never have children so they are the closest that I'll have to being a parent), *getting teary looking at mine*. They love us unconditionally, keep our secrets and keep us warm at night. Shed your tears, but also remember the happy times too.

Please take care,
Piper

[DawgGal]

Sigh. My friend, I truly understand what you are going through as I confess to being in the ranks of "dog lover" (have been raising show dogs for 20 years). Below is the poem I used as a dedication when my beloved "Blue" made his final journey home. I have also included a piece that addresses that painful decision that you had to make. Please know that you did the right thing......quantity of life is not what is at issue here but the quality of life they experience while in our care. Be well.
(Warning: hanky required)
______________________________

DEDICATION TO "BLUE"

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
....taken from "Funeral Blues" by W. H. Auden
_______________________________

"IF IT SHOULD BE"

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
Don't let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer so,
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me until the end,
I know in time that you will see,
The kindness that you did for me,
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve, it must be you,
Who had this painful thing to do,
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

[Blonde Heat]

Thanks guys, The days are getting more easier to bare. I was doing good until the cards from the funeral home and vet came in. Now i am a mass of blubbering idiot again.

She was a Pure bred Black Lab and belonged to a deaf man before coming to my home and my deaf daughter. It broke my heart to tell her what i had to do and was even worse when she became so upset that she called me a dog killer. I think she is ok now because she has her new Black Lab. His name is Max and he is her new hearing ear dog. He is trained but sometimes he is dumb as a box of rocks and i sure wish i ended up with a female but she will have to make do until i see if he pans out or opt for a female. A person i know is willing to give my daughter pick of the litter on a Pure Lab pups for free. But my problem is i really don't want that kind of heartache again. So i am leaning towards just keeping Max. Don't get me wrong he is wonderful but there is a huge difference between male and female dogs for the handicapped. The cool part about him is you never have to talk to him, he is completely trained on Sign-language commands and no voice. Which poses a problem for us hearing people who tell him to do something. he has that stupid scooby doo look, like huh! He is cute though and his dad is a champion pure bred lab who could win shows he is so beautiful. Oh well, i guess time will tell. :(

[Mitzi]

You will learn to love Max, honey. Right now, the loss of Rose is so fresh, maybe you even see Max as an interloper trying to take her place.
I have 2 little Yorkies. The female is so tiny, sweet and cuddly. The male is huge, twice her size and dumber then a doornail. My mother gave him to me and I really didn't want him. But, no one else wanted him.
My sweet little female Yorkie accepted him from the moment he came in. She was shaking and scared and she just licked his face. Now, he loves us all so much. He's really hyper where she is calm. It's gotten to where he finally has realized he has to calm down because he was scratching us so badly getting to us when we come home from somewhere. Now, the poor guy just sits there and shakes his little body in anticipation of us loving on him when we get home. My female is very secure in the knowledge that we love her. But, he was shifted from hime to hime and will crawl up into our laps, big lug that he is, like he isn't sure we will want him. But, he will always have a home with us.
I hope you learn to love Max and that he works well with your daughter. He will know if he is not wanted. Dogs sense that stuff.

[Desmar]

I feel your pain. So very much. I have only had one dog in my life and we are to poor to get a new one. :( However my best friend is like family to me and he has three dogs. My best friend is djack16 and we both love his dogs. I do not know how I will deal with it once I get my own dog. But I swear to all of you fellow dog lovers that you can besure that male or female it will get the best treatment. ftrphxcop your and insparation to me with sharing this and I share your greif. :( :( :(
Dogs rule :D ;)

[DMS 525]

In recent weeks, we were forced to move from our house to a small apartment, thanks to a greedy S.O.B. we had for a landlord. Although we wanted to move, we were not able to do so on our own accord, resulting in us not being able to find us a place where we can have our dog. We were able to find our Toby a couple of different places to stay temporarilly, but again we are faced with the task of finding him another place. I have hopes of maybe finding him a place to stay for a few months, until(hopefully) this deal I am working on to get us a place of our own pulls through. On the other hand, I am getting these vibes that maybe I am kidding myself, and may have to part with Toby for good. The thought breaks me up, and reading that Rainbow Bridge poem really broke me apart. I am trying to stay positive, and here's to hoping.

Toby is over 7 years old now; we have raised him from a pup. He is a cross between a Manchester Terrier and a Black Lab. One could not find a better dog anywhere.

I was told "he's just a dog." I nearly went ballistic! :mad: No such thing as "just a dog!" Among many things, a dog is your confidant, your best friend, your counsellor, your protector, and even a source of entertainment. I taught my kids not to take their dog for granted, in that unlike humans, a dog will never forsake you.

The hardest thing about having a dog is that dogs do not live as long as humans, and it always hurts to lose them after growing close. But on the other side of the coin, there are plenty of dogs out there who want to be your special friend, and will go to show you that life does go on.

If we have to part with our Toby for good, I'll try to remember all the time we had with him, and what a difference he made in our lives.

[Blonde Heat]

Good luck in your quest to find a way to stay with your pet DMS. I wish you the best.

Well its finally over and i went to pick her ashes up from the cemetary today. :( I asked my daughter to go along in the hopes that she would link the understanding of human death and pet death. Lets just say that when you have a 15 year old daughter who is deaf. Its much harder than just telling your hearing kids. I told her we were going to pick up her dog from the cemetary and the first thing she said was "Is she back to life?" :( :( You could imagine my heartbreak when i had to explain how they got a 100lb full grown dog into a little box. She just cried and cried. I am driving down the road in tears because this girl is sitting in the front seat of my truck holding on to the urn like it was going to disappear if she let go. :( Then came the task of explaining the difference between keeping the ashes or burying them. Which was extremely hard because she insisted that we bury the ashes in the backyard. Then decided she would keep them in her room to watch over her and make sure she told her goodnight everynight. :( I was lost on how to make her understand that whatever she chose it would be her choice and hers alone. So for now she is in a glass cabinet in my living room. Where my daughter walks by her almost every hour and pets the box. This sucks and i sure do hope it gets easier. Any suggestions on how to explain death to a person thats not exposed to all the horrible things and sounds in life. She does not even know what a cuss word is. Sometimes i think she has the best life, Not being able to hear. :(

[Mitzi]

Maybe another deaf person who has gone through this can explain it to her?
My son was only 14 when he became ill with his brain tumor. He was very confused about it. Only when he talked to some other children with brain tumors did he begin to understand his life was changed forever.
Even though your dughter is deaf, I believe she will come to understand eventually. She will have to come to her own conclusions with you guiding her.
The only thing harder then being in emotional pain ourselves is seeing our kids hurt. :(