"Whatever you do, Don't Date Cops!"

[qhgal]

That is the #1 thing I hear from people when they find out I am in process!!

What I want to know is, what in the world are you guys doing to make them say these things?? hahaha...

I hear: They are crazy, cheaters, wife beaters, liars, etc. Too f'd up from dealing with the worst of the worst. The list goes on and on!

I personally don't know any cops well enough to judge these things, and some of the people are just going by rumor as well, but still, it's a little disturbing that I hear it so much!

And not that I was planning to date anyone anyway, I just wondered what the heck am I getting into!

And, supposing there are a few bad apples, is it the police job that causes people do this, or do they start out that way and just gravitate towards a career in law enforcement?

I've been dying to ask. I don't want to sound rude, but I am curious as to any thoughts/opinions on this.

[VegasMetro]

You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...

[dixiebelle]

All I can say is I dated a few cops back in the day, but ended up marrying someone not in law enforcement.

You are gonna get positive and negative comments for both situations so you just gotta make up your own mind.

[RoadKingTrooper]

Though it was OK to date them but not to marry?

RKT

[Smurfette_76]

If you are a woman just getting into this job, do NOT date your fellow Officers. You'll get a rep and BAD. It's okay for them to whore around, not for you. Someone always finds out and they are not nice about it. Even if you're kicking *ss and taking names, your promotion was because you eff'd your way up the chain. Then again, someone that wanted the position you got will probably allege it anyway. This job isn't the kindest to women....heterosexual ones in that regard. I don't know about the homosexual ones other than they get a lot of grief from citizens from time to time.

I dated my first cop after about seven years in. I married him. LOL

[Chiller]

You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...



exactly

[Jenners]

I will say that the job does attract a certain type. That combined with long periods away from home, etc etc etc... There's a reason the divorce rate among LEO is 85 percent.

Me, I started dating my boyfriend while at the Academy. It was horrid, all the rumors that flew around because of it. We were in the same class, and while there were no rules about it, we were both in positions of authority within the class and everyone accused me of getting special treatment because I was the female half. We work is departments 2.5 hrs apart now, which to me is a good thing.

As far as dating cops though...I don't see a problem with it. Maybe because I am one? ;) Cops aren't all bad, but take a regular human being, add in alpha personality, some stress and a strong connection with coworkers and it does strain a relationship.

[qhgal]

If you are a woman just getting into this job, do NOT date your fellow Officers. You'll get a rep and BAD. It's okay for them to whore around, not for you. Someone always finds out and they are not nice about it. Even if you're kicking *ss and taking names, your promotion was because you eff'd your way up the chain. Then again, someone that wanted the position you got will probably allege it anyway. This job isn't the kindest to women....heterosexual ones in that regard. I don't know about the homosexual ones other than they get a lot of grief from citizens from time to time.

I dated my first cop after about seven years in. I married him. LOL

I agree with this...I figured it would be a bad idea, in fact I've heard that too, everything you just said.

[bebegirljen]

It's really hard dating a cop. The odd schedules, the extra shifts they pick up, the way their attitude changes - all are factors which people think twice before dating cops. I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into.

[Outshined]

It's really hard dating a cop. The odd schedules, the extra shifts they pick up, the way their attitude changes - all are factors which people think twice before dating cops. I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into.


Boo frickin hooo.

[-Erik-]

"Dont take work home and dont take home to work"

That is what one officer told me was the key to having a successfull relationship in LE.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

It's not always that easy as some people make it out to be. As Sam said, we are humans. There is only so much we can control.

The reasons people have such a hard time with dating cops is that a large majority of us are control freaks to some extent. Women see the cop in uniform and see someone that looks to be in shape (okay, SOMEtimes.... ;) ), someone who isn't doing stupid crap to get locked up all the time, they see SECURITY (I'm talking long-term, not security GUARD). All those things, coupled with finally having someone to show the parents that not everyone she dates turns out to be a turd is very enticing.

Now, these women don't see the bad side of us from the get-go. Long hours, exposure to extreme hazards, having to hold back from choking the ever-loving SHYTE out of people when we see child crimes, delivering death notices for the umpteenth time because of some stupid-azz DUI crash, etc. etc.

People think we're crazy because cops hear gunfire and run TOWARDS it, not away. They'll say we're liars because a few of us are. People that don't obey the law don't like getting caught. Your friends may think dating a cop will make you "square" because now you can't go out and drink then drive home. No more smoking the odd "joint" around you because you're with a cop.

Every civil service job seems to have their similar stories due to the stresses we face at work. That does NOT mean that we are all that way. However, there are enough stressors that we often act and respond to things differently. How many times would a civilian see a bad collision and think of the horror involved? I'll stand around at a bad wreck and be cracking jokes about the position we just found the driver in, scratching his right ear with his left foot. Why? That's how I and others like me may deal with some of this job. Is it always right? Probably not. But it works for me.

If you want to date someone, don't date them for their job/profession. Date them and maybe even love them for the person that they ARE and not the person you think they SHOULD BE.

[Jellybean400]

It's really hard dating a cop. The odd schedules, the extra shifts they pick up, the way their attitude changes - all are factors which people think twice before dating cops. I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into.

Yep, and it's even harder after you marry them.

[Truth317]

You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...

Umm.. That rule can apply to VegasMetro.

Fact is, it's not the neccessarily the profession that makes the man, but the man that makes the profession. All law enforcement personnel are not like that, it's just a misconception. Like Smurfette pointed out, knuckleheads are everywhere, not just in Law Enforcement.

[Cochiese]

Here is better advice from my own personal experience, while on "the job" don't date lawyers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I learned the hard way

[Jenners]

Good post Sgt Slaughter. But explain why a guy might want to date a female officer? Oh, wait...they don't. Hmmm. ;)

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Simple enough. New chick already comes with handcuffs.... ;)

[Explorer528]

Just another generalization if you ask me...don't date Cops, Lawyers, People in the military, etc.

[Smurfette_76]

Good post Sgt Slaughter. But explain why a guy might want to date a female officer? Oh, wait...they don't. Hmmm. ;)


It takes a VERY strong man, one very secure in his masculinity, to handle dating a female Officer.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Hold on... ***checking his biceps*** :D Somehow she thinks I measure up!

[Jenners]

Maybe that's why I date a cop too. No one else asks me out. And now that I think on it, I don't think he really asked me out either. It just...happened. But he's real solid in his masculinity, etc etc.

[PROBY]

I've been on the job for about 6 years now, 3 with my current dept. i just started dating a cop about a year ago, and i have to say that it has been an awesome experiance... we get along and there is an understanding between us that i never had with any girlfriend that was not LEO, however i have a couple of buddies that have also dated cops and their experiance were horrid, long drawn out battles from the depths of hell... so i guess my point is that you have to make your own informed decision, and hope for the best.

[Lexis85]

Blanket statements are bad. It's more personal experiences that have screwed up my view. My ex-stepdad was a cop and cheated on my mom. A guy I knew, whom I thought was actually a friend, tried to get me to help him cheat on his wife.

There are good apples and bad apples in the bunch. I'm dating someone in LE now, and he's actually the first person I can say I actually trust 100%.

[grumpyirishman]

You are correct...sleep with us, but don't date us...

+1

[1042 Trooper]

During my 2 years as a city cop, my partner was a gal who went on to the DEA, but when we worked together, she was a fantastic cop in every respect - brave, funny, blue humored at times, a lady always and fantastic with womem and kids as victims. And, she took no grief from dudes - including cops. She made it clear work was work - dated no one even remotely related to LE

And, she was never the victim of the crap Smurf has so accurately mentioned.

Lady cops - be well entrenched in your agency before you decide to hook up with one of your own. Smurf got away with it only because she was "one of the guys" well before she met her husband.

LE is still sadly behhind the curve in this area.

[CanadianBSO]

It really depends on the people that are working together and their maturity level. Where I work there are some couples together still and some that have parted ways. No one really gives it a second thought.

[blkslvr]

profession doesn't matter...

[Jeff22]

An advantage to dating a cop/dispatcher/firefighter/paramedic is that they understand your working environment and understand you have to work nights & weekends & holidays and may get held over or called in on short notice.

Juggling incompatible schedules can be very exciting.

Cops often have tendencies to be controlling, which can be a problem. Or male cops perceive themselves as the rescuer, and may establish a pattern of getting involved with dysfunctional women who they then try to "fix".

(I had a streak of that myself many years ago. The wife of a good friend is a nurse, and she claims that nurses do the same thing)

It can be complicated and awkward if you get involved with someone you work with.

I made this mistake twice. (20 years ago, when I was much younger and more naive)

The first time it just resulted in an uncomfortable working situation, but I actually only had to work directly with her about once or twice a week, so it could've been a lot worse. (The relationship ended when I found out she slept with some dude she met at intoxilyzer school). (After three years she went to another PD and subsequently left there, so the problem took care of itself)

The relationship ended in May and that same year in December I got to respond to a verbal domestic at her house between her and her new boyfriend. (That remains one of the highlights of my career, in a weird way)

The second time I was in an on again/off again relationship with a woman for about a year and a half. After it ended (by mutual decision) she went through a period of great vengefulness and tried to get me into trouble with management. (I worked nights and she was on the day shift, so I saw her most every morning at shift change but didn't work directly with her unless one of us was on overtime)

We ultimately had to attend a mandatory counseling session with the lieutenant, which resulted in sort of an armed truce . . .

Fast forward nearly 20 years, and we're both on different but adjascent departments. I only run into her once in a while, and we're friendly, but the whole thing was a situation I would rather have NOT participated in.

If a relationship with a co-worker goes sideways, it's hard to escape from. And nobody ever turns out to be who you think they are, and by the time you find out the truth, it's too late . . .

[Jeff22]

It can get complicated if you become romantically involved with somebody that you work with.

I made this mistake twice. (20 years ago, when I was much younger and more naive)

The first time it just resulted in an uncomfortable working situation, but I actually only had to work directly with her about once a week, so it could've been a lot worse. (The relationship ended when I found out she slept with some dude she met at intoxilyzer school). (After three years she went to another PD and subsequently left there, so the problem took care of itself)

The relationship ended in May and that same year in December I got to respond to a verbal domestic at her house between her and her new boyfriend. (That remains one of the highlights of my career, in a weird way)

The second time I was in an on again/off again relationship with a woman for about a year and a half. After it ended (by mutual decision) she went through a period of great vengefulness and tried to get me into trouble with management. (I worked nights and she was on the day shift, so I saw her most every morning at shift change but didn't work directly with her unless one of us was on overtime)

We ultimately had to attend a mandatory counseling session with the lieutenant, which resulted in sort of an armed truce . . .

Fast forward nearly 20 years, and we're both on different but adjascent departments. I only run into her once in a while, and we're friendly, but the whole thing was a situation I would rather have NOT participated in.

If a relationship with a co-worker goes sideways, it's hard to escape from. And nobody ever turns out to be who you think they are, and by the time you find out the truth, it's too late . . .

[bebegirljen]

The relationship ended in May and that same year in December I got to respond to a verbal domestic at her house between her and her new boyfriend. (That remains one of the highlights of my career, in a weird way)


LOL! That's hilarious...

[RoadKingTrooper]

The first time it just resulted in an uncomfortable working situation, but I actually only had to work directly with her about once or twice a week, so it could've been a lot worse. (The relationship ended when I found out she slept with some dude she met at intoxilyzer school).

Ahh yes, the opportunities presented at Intoxilyzer school