Reactions from Friends/Family

[CalgaryCop]

Hey folks,
As you may be aware, I just got recruited by the Calgary City Police. Naturally, friends and relatives are slowly starting to find out, and as a result, I often get a reaction from them. Often, the said reaction is positive, and other times not. Yesterday, a distant relative I know came up to me at a social event I was attending and asked "so they hired YOU?" (emphasis on "you"). I replied "Yes" to which he said.."Boy..you better start working out. Have you even passed the physical yet?" Now come on, I realize I'm only 5'7 and weigh 155lbs, but I'm in pretty good shape. YES I passed the physical. Why should people assume that because of my physique, I won't make a good Police Officer? Has anyone else encountered such ignorant comments? Are comments like these made out of ignorance? Jealousy? Or perhaps this relative was truly looking out for me? ;) I think not.
Your comments? Tips? Suggestions?
Many thanks in advance.
Asif

[jeeper]

i got some of the same comments, but im on the opposite end of spectrum from you (5'10, 260). ignore that crap. if you have the right mindset, good training, and most of all a will to win without compromise you will handle most any situation. just remember you didnt get into the job to impress people (and if you did you should probably get out of it). when people make these comments to me i use it as a motivation to go out and do more to learn about everything relating to the job, take tactics courses, maybe even martial arts, work out, shoot alot, read alot of books, that kind of stuff. let them think what they want and when the chips are down blow their mind with how good you actually are!!!!
good luck with it, and congratulations
be safe out there

[Dinosaur]

You may end up losing all your casual friends and alienating many relatives. It's a common phenomenon and happens to all of us. People will treat you as though you've become a different person. At parties, someone will loudly call you officer, to warn everyone else of your status. They'll complain to you about police unfairness and tell you about their latest traffic ticket. You'll make them uncomfortable and you'll begin to resent them. If you can learn to not take it personally and laugh about it, you'll likely do OK. Many guys end up limiting their social activities and friendships to other cops. I think it's healthier, in the long run, to keep in touch with the real world.

Rarely will your immediate family treat you differently. You can talk things through with really close friends. The rest, well.....you'll see.

Good luck on the job!

Pay Attention and Learn!

[CalgaryCop]

Thanks for all yor words of encouragement. Keener or not, I anticipate to become the best LEO that I can. Despite what people say or think, I believe that I will be able to perform my job with precision and skill, otherwise I wouldn't have made it through the roller coaster ride of the recruiting process. :)

Thanks again, and yes, I hope to learn everything I can. Training starts on Thursday so wish me luck!
Asif

[Blue_Chameleon]

Well...my family wasn't very supportive in the beginning, mainly due to how dangerous the job is and how I should continue to be a computer engineer or something. I'm fairly skinny so I got the skinny jokes as well. Most of my friends are still friends with me. However, acquaintenences are a little different. All of a sudden, they're either trying really hard to be a close friend or they just don't talk to you anymore.

Whichever reaction you get, it's all about how you feel about your new job. And once you start enjoying it, everyone around you will notice and you won't be "picked on" as much.

[Plaso]

You better get used to the change right now because it will not get any better. You will find out who your real friends are and who they are not. You will get the evil eye and jokes when you go to a party and they find out what you do for a living. You will find out why many police officers gravitate to having mostly officers for friends. But don't sweat it, like I stated at the start your REAL friends will remain your friends and they won't care what you do for a living. :D

[PeteBroccolo]

Originally posted by CalgaryCop:
<STRONG>Training starts on Thursday so wish me luck!Asif</STRONG>
When you get time, click on "my profile" and read my Private Message to you. :D

[Don]

I really can't add much to what has already been posted here. The job WILL change you to a certain extent. The thing that you must never lose sight of is that everyone (especially yourself) is human. Everybody reacts in different ways to different things.

Just keep you mind on YOUR goals and desires,do what is necessary to meet those goals and the rest of it will just sort of fall in place. You will soon find out who you true friends are.

Good Luck!

[casperd38478]

Keep your chin up size has nothing to do with the job the key to your success will be your attitude about your job and your desire to be the best you can be. A true story that happened to me. For years I had a desire to be a police officer and in 1974 I placed my first application with my local PD. I knew the chief real well and felt I had an oppertunity to get my foot in the door. After the application I got to talk with him and according to him everything looked good as far as the application and my background but he couldnt hire me because I was just to litte for the job. At that time I was 5ft8 160lb. Needless to say he was from the old school, all braun no brain. So see your attitude can do more for you than your size. By the way I am still small and they havent killed me yet even though they have tried more than once.

[wonderwoman]

Good luck! You have the right attitude and like others have said, you will find out who your true friends are! let us know how it goes! :D

[Zamboni]

I found a little trick that works well when going to social events where no one else knows me. If asked what I do I say I'm an emergency responder. Its true but they always tend to think I'm a fireman or paramedic. You get better reactions and then if you do hit if off with someone who you think will take the news okay you let them know what you meant. Plus it saves you from having to hear "You know I got pulled over one time . . . . " or "Is it true that cops can . . . . " or "I don't like cops" or "Why are you guys allowed to . . . ." or "Do you watch COPS?", etc, etc. And no ones going to make the "hilarious" :rolleyes: comments like "give me your handcuffs so I can arrest this woman" or "he did it, he did it" or "I didn't do it, I swear."

[Sparky]

I tell people I'm in:

1. Sanitation
2. Actuary Adjustment
3. Risk Management
or
4. Bewteen Jobs

[JKT]

When I meet someone, if they don't already know I'm LE, I usually tell them I work for "the County" until I get to know them a little better.

As far as family, the only one that has any "issues" is my sister-in-law. I had been a PO for about 8 years when she married my brother.

Until a road trip I made earlier this year, it hadn't really sunk in what I do. I had to transport an inmate to the State Prison in Huntsville, Tx, and stayed over with a family member in Houston (about 40 miles South of there), and paid my brother's family a visit while in the neighborhood. She started acting a little differently when she saw a marked unit in her driveway.

Since then, she has been rather pleasant.

Most of them time. :rolleyes:

[TIGGY]

Some of the toughest cops I have had a chance to work with are the so-called "small guys / girls"

My input: Join a gym or go to your station's gym and get into a serious weight lifting program. Get some input from some people that lift weights on a regular basis...Too much to quick and you risk injury that will stay with you forever.

My experience has been unless you are a martial arts expert or practice defensive tactics everyday you will hurt yourself trying some complicated wrist lock take down or something...You will pick up some tactics that you like but the fights I have been in I realized strength is key. I am not telling you to be brutal or violate laws by going overboard and kicking someone's azz. I found in the handfull of serious fights I have been in that I wish I had more stamina / and strength in my lower body such as hips and legs to get more leverage.

Just remeber if we loose as cops there is no one else to rely on... :eek:

[RoadWarrior]

5'09" 120lbs. when I was sworn in 3 years ago, and I haven't let anyone carry me off yet.

Size don't matter, I tell people who question my size that dynamite is a little bitty thing, but it makes a hell of a mess!

Good luck!

[Jay]

Along with the negative reactions, you need to watch out for those who want to become your "good friend". Many of them want nothing more than to have you get them out of trouble, fix tickets, warn them of roadblocks, and on and on!!!

Good friends are friends without strings! The rest can fend for themselves!!

[Sparky]

When I worked fugitive, I used to get cons pretty regular who would say things like, "I ain't gonna mess with no little cop. Ya'll be puttin' a hurtin' on mother****ers."


In the real world, folks know size doesn't mean anything. In fact, it's the small guys who will usually scrap hard because they have been fighting all their life.

Only the "straights" think that short folks can't fight. So when folsk say that, just smile and nod and think to yourself that they are an idiot who doesn't know any better. You've got nothing to prove.

Just don't get that "little man syndrome". That's bad news.

[SGT Dave]

Don't sweat the size thing-I've got a good friend who just got back into LE whose 503/145 and he's stronger than I am. I know-we workout together. I've seen wusses that were well over 604.

I'm 511 and have never during my LE career weighed less than 240 pounds, and most of it is closer to 275 pounds, and I often get "butterflies" when sizing some up.

Butterflies are good-you think clearly, you think tactically, and BTW, don't "fight"-SUBDUE.

If it were a street fight, it MIGHT be different, but with training, OC, ASP, and generally being allowed to use at least one level more force than the arrestee, you can do fine. I tell new officers this-“the moment you realize during a confrontation you are not actively winning, you are ACTIVELY losing-escalate far enough to immediately subdue. Just be sure to ARTICULATE in your report every step-especially what you tried that DIDN”T work. There’s no shame in it-I had a 120 pound woman jerk me around from a boyfriend that I was arresting. She of course went too, and in court, the FEMALE attorney dwelled on this issue, either to build “reasonable doubt” or to at least embarrass me. “Sergeant *****, do you mean to tell me that my client, who weighs 120 pounds, JERKED you 90 degrees away from her boyfriend, as large an officer as you are?” She kept on and kept on this one point, until the judge told her to move on. It neither embarrassed me, nor built reasonable doubt. Guilty.

[jeeper]

a little fact to consider for those who are worried about size and fighting: the average US Navy Seal is typically only 5'9 and 165lbs.

[TinStar]

You'll lose some friends, gain others. The ones you lose weren't friends to begin with.

Family is obviously different. Tell them you will understand if you don't get a card next Christmas. Then express your regret that you share the same genes.

[Bunnell]

CalgaryCop: Policing is the only truly honourable profession left. Your size does not matter. You have passed the test. If someone does not like your profession they are not your friend. Don't ever try to hide what you do when asked. If you do, you dishonour those that have given their lives for this wonderful vocation. Stay safe!!

[Mikey911]

Mikey,

I hate to have to nail you in public here. However, we have posted the rules over and over again, with one mod even going so far as to devote a thread in squad room to who may and who may not post in these "officer only" areas.

My friend, once you get hired in and are sworn, you will be welcome to post in these areas. Until then, please, read all you want, but keep your posts in the areas that you can "legally" post in.

<small>[ 09-09-2002, 11:19 PM: Message edited by: Don ]</small>

[Somewhere in the middle]

I avoid telling people what I do untl I find out what their fellings are about cops. More than once I have told someone what I do and seen that look in their eyes when they are remembering all the things they just said. Those are the people that are not your friends, so don't worry abot them. Also I am 5'10" 165lbs. And I used to work with a guy that made me look BIG. We stoppd a truck out in the middle of nowhere one dark night. The smallest guy in there was about 6'3" 250lbs. There were 4 of them and they just got bigger as they got out. We told them to stay put so they wouldn't surround us and the biggest one (6'5" 285lbs.) says "Officer, I know that you little cops are the real ones to not get into it with". I hoped that he was sincere. :D

[Hanson]

I cant add much to what has been said. It is sound advice.

In possible physical confrontations, I have found that your tone of voice and attitude make a real difference. Once, off duty, I went out with some friends and we came across two local officers wrestling a drunk in the street outside a bar. I was recovering from a pretty bad leg injury, which made it still difficult to walk, much less run or wrestle. As the officers struggled with the guy in the street, a very large man (6'3" and maybe 250) ran past me with the intent to hurt one of the officers (apparently the guy they were arresting was his brother). I instinctively reached out (more up as I am 5'6" and 165) and grabbed the back of his collar. He was intoxicated also. I began yelling "Police" as he dragged me towards the officers, one of whom heard my yells and was coming up with pepper spray. Just as the officer let loose a blast of spray, I managed to get some leverage and pulled the guy to the ground (the spray missed us both). At that point, I laid my hand on his chest and was able to verbally keep him from resisting (I had no chance in my condition had he tried). He stayed there.

After it was over, one of my friends commented to me that he had never heard me speak in that "tone" before. He said that I scared him!

As for how people react when they find out what you do... it is a judgement call you will have to make when responding to their questions. Remember, you are now a public servant and those who know what you do may one day come to you with some information that could be useful to LE.

Stay safe!

[DavioNYPD]

first off, I would like to congradulate you on a great carrer choice. being a police officer is the best job in the world. the pay isnt the greatest, unless your a port authority cop or work in long island ny, but its still ok.
you must realize, what you are going through, is what everyone goes through who isnt from a police family. just ignore the bull$hit. these same frinds and relatives who are cracking jokes now, will be asking for advice and help weeks down the road. I know it sucks, but if you got hired by IBM or Microsoft, they wouldnt say anything bad about it or bust your chops. people like to crack jokes when they are jealous. just let them know that you look forward to doing your job and not sit in some crummy office ( like them). let them know back that you think their job sucks and not yours. take care bro

[CalgaryCop]

Well folks,

Here I am. I completed Recruit training as of May this year and have been working Patrol since that time. While I haven't frequented the forum much, messages like the ones posted above have been really helpful.

All of you have been right. Providing you don't get the "small man syndrome" mentioned above, you are alright, even at my size. Tactics, and verbal commands in the right tone will carry you very far in any kind of a confrontation. I have been in a few scuffles already, and I can't say that I have felt fear or inadequacy much. Armed with my mouth, my uniform and a keen common sense, I can truly say that it is your mindset and confidence that carry you through any kind of high stress situation.

So, I thank you all for your kind words and advice. I must admit, I am loving working the street and do not, in anyway, regret my career decision.

Thanks again
Asif

[LethalWeapon5150]

True, size doesn't mean squat in a fight.

During a training exercise, I got my *** taken to the mat by a 5'6"/98 pound woman. I'm 6'4"/294.

Keep in mind: Bruce Lee was only 5'1"

<small>[ 10-17-2002, 04:09 AM: Message edited by: CSOTaylor ]</small>